Learning to Spell Love
by R Vorenus
Summary: A pen-pal program is started by activist high school senior Bella Swan to show Marines in Afghanistan that the US values them. "It's a shame to not have known you before, but maybe I knew you in a past life, or I'll know you in another one." Follow their letters and fall in love. AUAH, slight OOC. UPDATED and EDITED 2013.
1. I Signed My Name in Red Ink

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, as usual. I will never own anything that Stephenie Meyer created, and I simply and humbly take her characters and twist them to serve another purpose. I am not making any monetary gain from this, nor do intend to claim Mrs. Meyer's work as my own in any way. I DON'T OWN IT; DON'T SUE ME! This applies for the rest of the story, and I'm making the disclaimer now so as to not annoy you with it at the beginning of every single chapter, because there will be many, many more chapters to come._

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Wednesday. I like Wednesdays. Not only does it mean that I'm half-way through the week, but I have _SOTW_ meetings during lunch. My best friend Alice is the president of the _S_tudents _O_f _T_he _W_orld club in our school. She's always been active in the club, organizing food drives for the starving people of Haiti, collecting clothes and shoes for the poor little kids in Nicaragua, and advocating events for Darfur. She's an angel, that little one. I decided to join the club with her freshman year and have been by her side all along, fixing up the budget, doing the paperwork, and getting things done legitimately. Eventually, that landed me a spot as vice-president.

I loved doing meetings during lunch, because everyone was so eager to hear what our next project was. They were also extremely energetic because of all the caffeine in their Cokes, so they were extra willing to sign up for events and help us out. Today, we had exciting news for our 100-something members.

"Okay, guys, settle down, settle down! We have huge news for you, so we need you to sit down and be quiet," Rosalie, our secretary and fellow best friend, said in an authoritative tone.

Everyone looked at her, scared by the way she could command them, and looked at Alice, who was sitting on Mr. Whitlock's desk devouring a pepperoni pizza. She gulped down what was in her mouth barely having chewed it, and stood on the desk.

"Alright, so," she said clearing her throat, "This semester we're planning on focusing on 3 main projects, all aimed around Afghanistan."

"We'll make three main groups, and will need at least 40 people supporting each group. You are welcome to sign up for more than one if you'd like." Rose's voice was lighter now; her compassion always shone through when she was talking of projects. This is what made everyone love her besides her icy attitude sometimes.

"The projects are going to be really big this time, bigger than we've ever done anything before, so we really need your help. If you have friends that aren't in the club but are members of Active Youth or International Generation, please tell them to e-mail me or text me, or come see me. We really need the support," Alice informed the excited-looking faces. "So, now Bella's going to explain the projects while Rosalie passes around the sign-in sheet, and later you can come up and sign up for whichever project you'd like to participate in."

"Hey guys," I smiled, "Um, well, this time we're taking a step further in planning, and as Ali just told you, we've taken up 3 large projects to focus on. So, first of all, the project Alice is organizing is a fundraiser to buy burqas for Afghan women and girls. As you know, it is impossible for a woman to step out of her house without one, and many can't afford one. Sunni's mom agreed to donate some, and if we make enough money fundraising, she'll buy the necessary materials and make as much as she can. With the money that's left, we will purchase some.

"Rosalie's project is a book/material drive for the kids in Afghanistan. She'll post up a note on Facebook with all the things she will be collecting, and she also needs someone to make flyers for her. You can sign up for that when you write yourself down for her project. She mainly wants to collect school supplies, such as pens, pencils, crayons, notebooks, and things like that." I took a break to drink some of my Arizona raspberry tea.

"My project," I continued, "Is tied with the US Marine Crops. I got permission from the undersecretary of the secretary of the war department at the Pentagon to do a pen-pal program, where each student is assigned a service member and they write to each other, and eventually meet each other when the troops are allowed to weeks to visit us here, in DC, in the Auditorium of the White House. They think it's a huge deal, and want to film it, as all our events."

The people were practically bouncing up and down in their seats.

"Ok, so, now that you've got the main idea of each project, I'll pass around a sheet for each. Write your name, ID number, and cell number so we can get all that annoying paperwork done for Administration. The quicker we get papers approved, the more time we have to do all these things." Alice said excitedly.

"We will be having a meeting on Saturday afternoon at my house to coordinate everything," Mr. Whitlock said behind his desk. Mr. Whitlock was my favorite teacher in the universe. He sponsored our club and taught Advanced Placement International Affairs to a select number of seniors. Thankfully, I was part of the select few.

"Please let your parents know about these events. They can always lend a helping hand."

And so the first bell signaled the end of our happy world and the start of seventh period. People smiled and said their goodbyes to us as the filed out of the classroom slowly, a large queue at the door because of the large amount of people packed into a simple-sized classroom.

We stayed behind, Alice and Rosalie picking up their things heading for AP Political Science. Alice left me the sign-up sheets and promised to come to my house after school so we could sort things out. I escorted them to the door and threw away my lunch, making my way back to Mr. Whitlock's desk.

"You think this'll work, Mr. Whit?"

He looked at me thoughtfully and nodded. "I hope so, Bella. We're very ambitious this year, but we just started the school year. I'm sure we'll do great things in these coming 10 months."

I smiled at his reassurance and pulled up a chair to his computer. He was grading our papers today, so he gave up his Mac for me to organize the project sign-in sheets. The buzz of conversation faded as the late bell rung and everyone took out a silent reading book, as it was customary for us to do the first 10 minutes of class. I was exempt, of course, because of my constant planning and organizing, which Mr. Whitlock encouraged.

He handed back the reports we had completed two weeks prior, and sent everyone off to the computer lab to fix their mistakes and re-check their sources. I stayed behind because I received a nearly perfect score on my paper. I had worked on it 18 hours, researching, cross-referencing, and digging deep down into the topic. I sighed with relief when I saw a 19/20 painted in red ink over my name in the cover page.

I typed up all the event lists and saved a copy onto Jasper's desktop, on my USB, and sent it to Ali and Rose on an email. I printed a copy of the sheets and stapled them to the bulletin board at the entrance of the class where Mr. Whitlock had a large area dedicated to our club.

I signed my name in red ink above the title of my project. This was a tradition almost; we would sign our names on the top of our projects and proposals every time we started new ones.

I had no idea that this time, my signature would bind me to my project far more than it ever had.

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**A/N: This is how it starts. Don't worry, these first chapters will probably be narration, but I promise, the letters will come. I've never written a romance before, so please help me along the way. If you can give me tips or criticism, please do. I will love you sooo much for it.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Always yours, ~R Vorenus~**


	2. Fate Starts Small

I don't know what excited me more: the fact that our project had been approved in a 72-hour time span, or the 200+ emails I had in my inbox asking me to add their names to the Pen-Pal Program. I smiled as I typed the names of each person and their information into the sheet. I never thought this would be such a hit; I always wanted to do some sort of interactive program with people out of the country, but this was just amazing.

The doorbell rung and I walked downstairs with my laptop, knowing it would be Rose and Ali on the other side of the door. Sure enough, I got a text from Al saying "Open up (:".

I let the girls in and we sat on the couch in the living room, in front of the big-screen tv.

"Ok, so, we have a crapload of things to do today," Rosalie sighed, turning on her laptop.

"Alright, I have the lists and the prescribed budget for each thing..."

I pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose and started typing and clicking to get the Excel document I needed. I always wore contacts to school, but since I was at home and working, I didn't have the will to put them on. Rose and Al looked over my work and we discussed it all. We spent a couple more hours working on a book drive for Rose and soon found ourselves hurring to get ready to go to Jasper's for the meeting.

"He said 3:00, we'll make it on time. It only takes like 10 minutes, Al. If anything we'll be early... Oh..." I said as I saw the look on Ali's face. It said everything she was embarrassed to say.

We drove to Jasper's (as Mr. Whitlock liked to be called by us outside of school) and saw that we were the only ones there. I checked the clock and it said 2:55.

We knocked and the door opened shortly. Jasper greeted us with hugs and Al with a discrete kiss, and told us to come inside. We'd been in his house before, hundreds of times, so it felt like home. Jasper was so laid back, it was like having a best friend that was 8 years older. He was reliable, he was funny, he was involved, and he never refused to listen to anyone. He made me feel comfortable, almost like family. Jasper could have been my older brother if we had the same parents. More than a teacher, he was an amazing human being I admired greatly.

It was 3:00, so I made myself comfortable on one oft he large chairs at the dining table. As I waited for others to arrive, I might as well be productive. I pulled up an English paper that was due on Thursday and started proof reading it. I added a couple of paragraphs and stopped after a long time.

"So, where's everyone?" I asked as I heard the grandfather clock strike 4:00 pm.

"Hmmm?" He asked. "What everyone?"

I looked around and said, "The people for the meeting... They were supposed to be here an hour ago."

"What meeting? Didn't Alice tell-" His face lit in recognition and mine and Rose's did, too. Rose glared at Al and I simply laughed.

"Didn't Alice tell me you canceled the meeting? No, she did not." I said, looking at her and shaking my head. The pixie only wanted an excuse to be with her love. She thought that maybe if we knew the meeting was canceled, we might not come, and so she couldn't see him.

"Now that you know there's no meeting, can you come here and stop working?" Jasper said, throwing me a cushion from the couch.

"Ouch," I muttered and laughed, throwing it back.

"Let's watch a movie!" Alice said excitedly. I shrugged and I smiled, sitting next to Jasper. Rose came and sat next to me, and we started to watch Renaissance Man. That was one of my favorite movies of all times.

During one of the slow parts, I snuck a peak at Ali and Jazz. They looked so adorable together. She was curled up into a tiny ball and he hugged her close to his side. Their fingers were intertwined and her head rested on his shoulder. They were so romantic together... they seemed to be perfect for each other.

I had no idea about these things since I had never been in a relationship. Sure, I'd gone out with a few guys here and there, but they were neither intelligent, mature, nor serious enough about me. I looked at Jazz and Ali and smiled to myself with a twinge of sadness.

I don't think I'll ever find someone like that. I don't think I'll ever be in love. I don't think anyone would ever love me so much, as much as Jasper loves Alice.

But, maybe, I reflected, maybe I'm not meant to be in love. Maybe I'm meant to serve the world, and spread my love around to those who need it, and are in horrible conditions. Maybe that was what destiny had in mind for me.

Whatever my future turned out to be, fate starts small, so I couldn't rush to a conclusion about my life just yet. I'd have to wait and see for myself what would become of my love.

We finished that movie and watched Anchorman. Then, we stayed for dinner and discussed the incredible stupidity of Will Farell. We laughed and joked and talked for a while after, and finally went home.

I took a shower and laid down on my couch, watching a bit of CNN to keep me updated on what was going on around the world. After about half an hour, I turned to FOX News, and then after another 30 minutes to MSNBC. I always liked cross-referencing on each network, knowing how incredibly biased each could be.

In the midst of my information session, I got a call from Jasper. I nearly squealed with happiness when he told me that the Pentagon had faxed him the names of all the Marines, and that he would be scanning them and sending them to me tomorrow.

I nearly jumped out of the couch and hit the roof, so happy it was hard not to grin when I hung up the phone.

Finally, my project was starting to take shape. I couldn't wait to pair myself up with a random stranger, whom I was convinced would be an incredibly interesting person. I was sure that my soldier had many stories to tell, and I wanted to hear them all.

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**A/N: So, here's the update for those of you who asked :D It's moving slow now, but we're getting there. I can't wait to put Edward in here, tehehehe.**

**Please review and tell me what you think. If I get 10+ reviews, I'll update the next narrative chapter and post up the first letter.**

**Loving you,**

**~R Vorenus~**


	3. Something Out of Jane Austen

"Hello, hellooo?" I heard a voice coming from downstairs. I got out of the shower dressed and poked my face out the door to look down the staircase. It was Renee, holding some sort of packages in her hands.

"I can use some help, you know," she smiled up at me.

I grinned, having seen her last three weeks ago. I hurried down the stairs and took some packages out of her hands, putting them on the table. I went to her and gave her a huge hug, missing her presence since I had only texted an IMed her in the time I hadn't seen her.

Renee was part of the country band "The Glitter Gals" and traveled around the US touring and promoting their CDs and getting known. They had a record deal and had been signed for the longest time, but they were looking to get on the soundtrack of a movie, so they could hit big and everyone would know them. It had always been Renee's dream to be righ and famous and loved by everyone.

She was rich and loved, but the famous part still wasn't as big as she'd like to hit it.

We caught up on whatever we hadn't talked about yet, and she explained what it was that she had in all the bags and packages. I almost squealed (something extremely out of character) with excitement.

"You bought me _WHAT_? OH MY GOODNESS MOM, I LOVE YOU!" I jumped on her and gave her an even bigger hug than before.

I rushed to the boxes and bags and started tearing away anything that impeded my vision. I stopped and stared at what I was holding, my eyes surely shining.

It was the most thoughtful thing Renee had ever given me. She always tried to buy me tutus and princess costumes and make-up and crap like that, but in my eighteen years, this was by far the biggest win.

Bound in black sleek leather, the journal had a clasp with a red wax stamp recreation that said "Always Remember", going around the brand, "EC", in cursive. Inside, the pages were parchment imitations and had an area to fold and tear. There were 10 calligraphy pens with the points imitating a quill's neatly packed, sitting next to a pack of 400 envelopes and 300 stamps.

I was speechless and looked from Renee to the gifts, back and forth for a little while. I was trying to talk, but all that came out was gibberish and words that were cut.

Renee smiled widely at me and laughed a little, coming to wrap her arms around my shoulders.

"Well, I knew this project meant a lot to you from the way you kept talking about it and by how often you kept mentioning it, so, I decided to make up for all the time I've been MIA."

"Mom, this is... this is... amazing.. Oh my God... this is freaking awesome!" I yelled and jumped on her again.

"I figured I'd show you what was in that one first so you wouldn't be disappointed with the rest. I got you tons of new clothes and shoes, but somehow I had a feeling they wouldn't hit home like this."

I smiled widely and shook my head.

"You didn't have to, mom."

"Oh, yes I did. Look at what you're wearing! You look like you live in the streets! Besides, you needed a couple of stylish boots and new coats."

"Oh, mom..." I sighed. This was perfect! I had my equipment and today Jazz was going to send me the names so that we can match everyone up.

I talked to Renee a while longer until Charlie arrived with his new wife and my little brothers. Renee greeted them kindly and left as they were coming in. Destiny obviously knows how to work around family awkwardness, I laughed to myself.

Charlie and his family stayed for a while and we talked about the holiday season that was approaching. He invited me to the large Thanksgiving party they were going to have at their house in some weeks and told me to invite some of my friends if I wanted to. I said sure, and after that the conversation slowly died away and they were leaving. I felt at peace when the door closed and I was finally alone again.

It took me as much effort to be allowed to love alone as it did a first grader to sing their alphabet. Charlie was busy with his new shiny (his new wife) and Renee was crossing the country in ripped jeans, cowboy boots and a matching hat.

Before I knew it, my driving independence had found me a beautiful home in the calm political district of DC. My fried Jake had helped me find it and did some American Indian joo-joo that had me owning it in a heartbeat. I know that maybe there were things done under the table, to the left, in the dark, whatever euphemism you want to use for illegitimate business. But, in the end, it didn't really matter, because I had a studio, a bedroom, a guest room, a bathroom, a living room, a diving room, a kitchen, and an amazing view of the city at night.

I went upstairs and turned on my computer, checking for the email Jasper was supposed to send. I saw the sender's name: Jazz Whit, the subject: Drum roll, please..., and the little icon that signaled an attachment. I flipped out with happiness and quickly saved PenPal onto my desktop.

I opened the file with anticipation, waiting for my extremely slow computer to put it up on screen. I grinned widely to myself when I saw the 14-page list. I copied and pasted the list of people that had signed up and randomly paired everyone up with a service members. There were three or four people left on our side, but I don't think that they would mind signing up for Ali's or Rose's project instead. I felt horrible having to tell them that there were no more soldiers in the division that we were given.

I double-checked to make sure that there were no names skipped or forgotten, and that every student was paired with one Marine, their names not repeated or deleted. Everything was OK, so I excitedly attached the final document and sent it to the massive mailing list for my project.

Then, I anxiously scrolled up to the first little box where my name was. Edward Cullen, said the corresponding box. I smiled. His name sounded like something out of a Jane Austen or a Charlotte Bronte novel; I liked that. I was so excited, I opened up a Word document and started typing away. I wanted to make sure that I covered the basics in this first letter, and I conveyed to him who I was. I decided to type it up first, before I wrote it down, so that I could make changes and look through Spell Check. I think it would be highly embarrassing to have him send a response saying "You spelled 'sincerely' wrong."

I typed and typed and typed away for hours, adding and deleting, and changing, and shortening, and proof-reading, until it was time for dinner. I went for some Chinese take-out a couple of blocks down and came straight back to finish the letter. I read it over and was pleased with my work, not exactly happy, because I felt it was too reserved and careful, but then again, that's how I had grown to be these few years.

I smiled lightly again and decided that I'd come back to this tomorrow, using the beautiful supplies Renee had gifted me. I had a considerable long paper to write for AP English Language III, and at this point, it wasn't going to write itself up or excuse my slacking.

Tomorrow would be the creation of a new lifeline for me. It was as if a capillary would be suddenly engorged and grow thicker, into a vein, blood rushing excitedly through it, feeling freer now that it had more space to travel through to my heart. My heart, that confused piece of work, would start pumping to a different beat, and the blood that had not rushed to my cheeks in 12 years would become familiar with them again.

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**A/N: Sorry I couldn't bring it to you sooner, loves, but I was moving yesterday and this weekend, so I didn't really have time to update it. Here it is, nonetheless.**

**I know I'm inventing AP classes now, but Bella's otherworldly smart, so I had to think of something, hahaha.**

**I love you immensely for reading, and you know how much I appreciate reviews.**

**Yours truly,  
~R Vorenus~**


	4. To One Edward Cullen

_To one Edward Cullen:_

_Hi. My name's Isabella Swan and I'm going to be your pen pal person for the rest of the year. I'm a high school senior in Washington, DC, and I was the one who created the program. I've always been interested in doing some kind of work with the Army, because I feel that you guys are highly underappreciated and I think you should get more attention and gratitude from the American public. If not from a great majority of them, at least from the students that care and are interested._

_I can't imagine how difficult the war is, and how much even harder it is to be part of it, but that is one of the reasons why I am writing to you. I invite you to talk to me about anything that worries you, and tell me about yourself. I know there's not enough funding for a psychologist for each and every one of you, but at least with me you'll be able to get some things off your back. I'd like to know more about you, who you are, why you joined the Marines, what it is you do, and even more if you'd wish._

_I'm not a person of many words; well, I am, but not of empty ones. I'm very forward about things, and I say them how I think of them. Some people say I was born to the wrong generation, and I agree, but don't be freaked out about that. Maybe it'll be easier for us to talk, since you're obviously older than I am. I hope that I can serve as a small relief in a world of so many problems and that one day you'll grow to trust me and we can become friends. This project means the world to me, and if I can change your life even a little tiny bit by serving as your illegitimate shrink, then that'll be enough._

_I hope this letter finds you well,  
Isabella Marie Swan_

I thought about it and sighed. I don't know. It sounded alright, but I fetl that it's not really connecting me to him. Maybe I was just too quick to want to connect, I mean, it was the first letter, after all, and this was just the introduction. Maybe I put too many personal things in there, and I'll make him uncomfortable. Maybe I didn't put enough warmth and he'll feel as if I'm not really engaged.

Well, whatever it was, it didn't matter, because I had mailed the letter 4 hours ago.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, laying down on the bed motionlessly. I was nervous, thinking maybe he wouldn't write back, and a pang of sadness hit me. I remembered what I had thought to myself in Jasper's couch, the thing about my fate being loving others and helping them. What if I couldn't help this Edward Cullen? What would that imply for my fate, then?

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**A/N: Awkward letter, I know. But this is just how it starts. ****Thank you tons for reading and supporting me!**

**Love you forevers,  
~R Vorenus~**


	5. I Had A Different Reason

I picked up the mail that day as I usually did. I had stopped looking through it excitedly after a week and a half of being let down by the numerous bills and college brochures. Not one of them had the name of the sender who I wanted to badly to receive news from. I actually started doubting his response, thinking maybe he thought I was a creeper.

But today, when I was casually flipping through a letter from American Express and my house insurance, I stopped at the sight of very firmly scribed cursive, neat and legible.

_Miss Isabella Swan  
3275 Arcadia Place NE  
Washington, DC 20015_

I looked at the sender's name and didn't know how to react.

_Edward Cullen  
US Military Base 78962  
Kabul, Afghanistan_

I didn't know whether to jump up and down, throw all the other letters to the ground and rip this one open, or just go upstairs, take a shower, relax, and then read it. I decided to do the latter, giving myself room to imagine what might be written in the letter. The envelope felt light, so I was sure he hadn't written much, maybe two sheets, pushing it.

I got out of the shower and looked at the letter that was sitting lazily on my bed, waiting to be opened. I took a deep breath and let it out, smiling. I was glad he didn't back down and wrote back to me.

_To a Miss Isabella Marie Swan,_

_Hey there, I was pleased to see your interest in the letter you first sent. I thank you for caring about those of us that are doing a great duty to our country. I'm surprised that someone so young would be so aware and involved in something so forgotten. Thank you for offering yourself as someone for me to talk to, and a possible friend. I want you to know that I'll also be available as an outlet for whatever you wish to say. I'm willing to be here for someone that is doing the same for me, and more. You have no idea how big this is, for me to be talking to you, someone outside the military, and getting the feeling that you actually care about what I have to say._

_Well, I guess that was enough of a serious introduction in response to what you had said, and now, I'll get on to the "getting-to-know-you" part._

_I'm Edward Anthony Cullen Masen. Yeah, it's quite the mouthful, but every name is important to me. Edward was my father's name, Anthony my grandfather's, Cullen the family last name, and Masen my mother's maiden name. Each person who I'm named after means a great deal to me, but it's too much explaining for me to do, and I'm sure you'll get tired after reading the long explanations._

_I'm 22 years old, and I've been a US Marine for 2 years, and will be for the rest of my life. I decided to join after the Iraqi war was headed nowhere, and so was my life. I was studying to become a corporate attorney, but felt like I wasn't really doing anything. All I was planning a future for was siding with the greedy bastards (excuse my language) in Wall Street. I felt that I had to get out of my comfortable life, always having everything handed to me on a silver platter. I've always known that freedom isn't free, but I wanted to be one of those that paid to give it to others. I really didn't join the war efforts because I've always loved GI Joe, or because loud explosions in movies and toy guns interested me. I had a different reason than all the guys here, but now that I've gotten to know most of them, they found it inside themselves to want to defend the country, too._

_I first thought about joining the Army, but I left the idea once I saw what the Marine Corps had to offer. I felt that if I was going to take on this challenge, I would do it head-on, and push myself as far as I could go. So, I went from the tall, skinny guy with black-rimmed glasses to the buff man in combat boots and camo holding an AK-47. But I realized, even when my appearance changed and the Marine officers tried to brainwash me and condition my body endlessly to their will, that I was the same stubborn boy I'd always been, and that's landed me many places in the armed forces. I was shipped off to Afghanistan after 10 months of intensive training, and have been here ever since. I don't really do any of the real work, but I'm on backup here in Kabul, the capital (which I'm sure you already knew, you seem like a really smart girl), and do a lot of the strategizing._

_So, that's pretty much me in a nutshell, and there's so much more, but I've already spent too many hours thinking about how to phrase all of this. Now, you might have gotten a little sleepy reading it all, so I'm sorry if I made you drowsy, but I feel that these things are the basics you should know about me. I'm a friendly guy, and I always take up an opportunity to make close relationships with people who are loyal to me and stand by my side as good friends. I hope one day I'll be able to consider you one of those people, and you will as well._

_But, I need to get to know you before any of that stuff can happen, so, I want you to tell me about yourself. I want to know about you, know how we are similar and find ways we can get along. I liked that you were forward and concise in your first letter, but now I won't let you get away with writing less than a page (and I don't mean double-spaced with huge margins, haha). Don't be afraid to tell me things, no one's going to find out anyway, it'll be just between you and me._

_Thank you once again, and a million more times, Isabella, for taking interest. You truly have no idea what it means to this lonely Marine._

_Happy festivities,  
Edward Anthony_

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**A/N: I just love Edward. He's amazing, hahaha. Well, here's what he had to say. I hope you guys like it. 5 reviews for Bella's reaction! (I know I'm bribing you, and I'm a horrible person for it!) Thank you for reading!**

**I love you forever,  
~R Vorenus~**


	6. The Compassion Deep Within

I sat in front of the computer and stared at the screen, clicking a few keys and ending up selecting and deleting everything.

_To Edward Cullen,_

Na, that sounded weird.

_To an estimated Edward Cullen,_

That sounded even more awkward than the one before.

_Edward Anthony Cullen Masen,_

Okay, that just looked strange at the heading.

_To Edward Anthony,_

That seemed better. He signed with his first two names, so that must mean I could use them, right? Well, I wasn't going to spend all of Thanksgiving afternoon thinking about what the header would be; I had to actually get down to writing the letter.

I sat and stared at the monitor for hours, until I finally decided what to say. Then, before I knew it, Charlie was calling me and hurrying me up for dinner.

_To Edward Anthony,_

_I'm glad I didn't scare you off with the first letter. I thought that maybe you wouldn't answer back because you'd think I was some creeper, but apparently not. I was really glad to hear from you and your letter was a very good insight into who you are, however, I know there's probably more to the Marine man than was disclosed to me, but those things will be slowly uncovered as time goes by._

_So, you told me to write a page (without cheating) about myself, but that is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I don't really like talking about myself, and I just feel like I'm bragging or ranting. But, to humor you, I'll do it._

_So, let's start simple: my name is Isabella, but everyone generally calls me Bella, especially my friends. I'm 18, I live alone, my parents are an odd divorced bunch, and I do humanitarian and activist work through my school and other organizations. Well, that's basically my life; I don't really do much else, besides school, and writing, and planning some more with my friends about our projects for the club we lead. I'm very ambitious (in the good way) with the club: I always have a plan A, B, C, D, E, and F, and I always like to be in motion. I'm never really happy in stagnation, and the more work I have to do, the happier I am. I know it sounds strange, but I'm a very dynamic person._

_I'm usually really busy with school, so I don't do much partying or other "hanging out" as the kids in my school call it. I've taken AP classes since freshman year and now take 8 of them. I've miraculously made it to the top 2% of the class, and have survived. My mother always told me that all I needed to do was get pretty and that would solve all my problems, but I constantly got into fights with her because of that ideology. I've always stood on the fact that an intelligent woman can go many more places than a pretty woman. If you're both, then, congratulations, but education is always the main thing. Being an intellectual not only gives you an advantage in the labor force, but it also makes you a citizen of the world that can make many contributions to it for the betterment of humankind. I think my quest for knowledge started off as a rebellious act against my mom, but it turned out to be something so much deeper as time went father never really had an opinion, and he would support me in everything I did. When I started getting interested in humanitarian work, he played along, thinking it was just a phase in my life, and probably still thinks I'll grow out of it, as if it is a fad of some sort._

_But, as usual, he was wrong. My activist and humanitarian work mean the world to me, and it always will. I started out in middle school by going to soup kitchens and volunteering, when my father was the Pennsylvanian senator's adviser. He used to take a lot of trips to slums and homeless areas, and I would come along with him and see the need and the poverty that was so foreign to my little world of books and stories. I felt as if I was sheltered in a glass ball all my life, and so I decided to go help out the poor people of the city. Sometimes we'd go out to the city's poorer areas and hand out fliers that talked about the soup kitchen and gave the address of it. Soon, I realized this was my "calling" in life, or just something I needed to do forever to be happy._

_Throughout my years in high school, I've been part of the Students Of The World club, and have contributed immensely to it. It's such a part of me that I don't think I could ever leave it. Sometimes I even push off homework to work for the club. Yeah, some people say I'm obsessed and make fun of me for it, but I like to call it dedication. My dream is to become an ambassador for the UN or join the Peace Corps. I've always hated the idea of staying in an office, surrounded by four white-painted walls, a PC, and a wooden desk with a rolling chair. It's actually quite the nightmare every time I think about it. I've always been criticized for it, but I'm pretty realistic about it. My mother's ex-husband, Phillippe, works for the undersecretary of the UN, and he had connections in the Peace Corps. And well, people may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one according to John Lennon._

_I've always wanted to travel to Africa and the Middle East and do work there, but I know the latter is extremely dangerous, especially now. It's something I've had a life-long want for, and maybe someday I'll be able to do it. I've become increasingly interested in the region because of the wars we've been engaged in, and a project I had to do concerning Lebanon. It amazes me how little people know about it, and how quick they are to judge everyone just from the few snippets of news we have concerning them. My friends joke around that I'll become a secret spy and travel to Afghanistan, going from woman to woman giving her all the intellectual tools and moral support she needs to fight back the oppressive Taliban. It's unrealistic, sure, but if I could do that, it would complete me._

_I've visited other countries around the world, but none inspire me, or bring out the compassion deep within. Italy's beautiful, with its greenery, the freshness of the air at night, the impressive Colosseum, the Arc of Constantine (I dreamt about them for a week when I came home). But, Europe has nothing to offer me. Switzerland, England, Austria, Germany, Greece, Spain, France... It's a great privilege to travel to all of these countries, but, it doesn't complete me. Sure, the museums and the ruins and the landmarks make me all tingly inside, and have me smiling for weeks on, but it's not my true love._

_I've been very lucky my entire life, but it's not something I take for granted. I've never had to work to support my family, never had to dig in the trash for lunch, never had to sell myself so I can live another day. I may not know what these things are like, and I may not be able to tell everyone I help that "I know exactly what you're going through", because I never will. But empathy is my greatest character strength, and even if I may not have many others, at least I have that very important one. Sometimes I wonder what it is that my purpose in this life is, but I think that I've discovered it. Some people are meant to be loved, but others, like myself, are meant to give love, and give as much as they can._

_I hope you got a better insight into who I am, and I have a page, like I promised, without any cheating. I hope your Thanksgiving can be spent happily beside all the Marines you've befriended, and that you guys can make up the big, happy family I always wished to have._

_Best wishes and all the happiness to you,  
Bella Marie Swan_

I folded the letter and licked the envelope closed. I stared at it for a minute, closing my laptop and placing it on top of it. I'd mail it the first thing tomorrow morning, and would be waiting for his reply in a couple of weeks. I turned the light off and picked up my purse, heading for Charlie's. I locked the house and left the porch light on for when I returned later in the night. I got in my car and drove for 3 hours into the forest leading me to Charlie's home. I arrived and smiled at the endless number of family members inside the large house. As we sat down to eat and my grandfather prayed thanks, I tipped my head forward and closed my eyes, envisioning large rows of tables with delicious-looking turkeys, all of which Marines were sitting around and feasting off, smiling as if bombs were not going off miles away.

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**A/N: Thank you for your tremendous support, lovelies! I'm ecstatic that you like it so far, and I hope I can keep satisfying you. ****Thank you a ton for reading, and Edward will write back soon.**

**You guys make my day! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!**

**~R Vorenus~**


	7. I'm An Old Soul, Too

The snow covered the streets in a thin layer of whiteness. The winds blew the first and second weeks of December into my room and along with it came Edward's reply.

_To Bella Marie,_

_I really enjoyed your letter. I think if we would have met in law school, I wouldn't have thought twice about dropping out and traveling the world with you, helping people all over. Honestly, I was apprehensive about doing this pen-pal thing at first, because I heard it was with highschoolers, but now I'm sure I made the right decision when I signed my name on the list. I've never been too involved with people my age, and even less with those that are younger, but I get the feeling that you're not really 18. Your body might say that you are, but your mind soars above and beyond those years._

_I'm an old soul, too. I never really did have a childhood or teenage years. I think I jumped straight from eating Gerber to analyzing John Locke. I always found those kids and teens around me to be dumb, worrying about the most trivial things instead of the greater matters of life. I think I was born with a goatee and a pair of glasses, a book in one hand. I was always the kid no one really talked to, because I answered all the questions in class and had this inflated vocabulary. My mom was quick to take advantage of my maturity and put me in saxophone classes before I could even pronounce "private school". Since my dad was also in the Armed Forces, we had enough money to go around, and more. My twin brother, Anthony Edward, exploited that and lived a short life because of it. He drove his shiny new Ferrari and his girlfriend straight into the lake of death in a drunken stupor._

_But, I won't dwell on that. It happened some time ago, and we all go through bad times in our lives, right? That was just a deeper low than the rest of them. At first, I wouldn't eat, and then my grades started dropping to the pits, but as time went by, I realized that I just had to live and let die, as Guns N Roses put it. That's something that has helped me tremendously in combat. I've never been front line, but I know many whom I've shook hands with one night, and have not seen ever since. I won't lie to you, Isabella, this war's not a pretty thing. It doesn't even pale in comparison to the other wars we've been involved in, but right now isn't the opportune time to engage in a world conflict of such caliber. I won't complain about it, because I willingly enlisted to join the military, but it's a fact. We have good resources, but int he mountains of Afghanistan, it doesn't matter what we have._

_We're having a hard time locating Al Qaeda, and an even harder time with Bin Laden. In all truth, we have no idea where he might be. We think he could be in Pakistan, but crossing the border only means enticing them to strike, something they're a little too eager to do. We're here on a mission that seems to be more and more impossible each day. I try to keep my hopes up, but, I feel that I lose a grain of sand of it a day. For every day that's passed, I could fill a beach up with the hope and faith I've lost._

_I used to be very religious when I came into the Marines. Needless to say, it barely survived a month. I had a long history of Christian Baptist faith, but apparently it wasn't my own faith that stood. My mother would take us to church every Sunday morning and sit us in the third pew, all the way at the front. I remember sitting next to my brother and holding on to my older sister's hand, studying the surroundings, memorizing every inch of the place. Sometimes my mom would look at me and send me a glare, saying something along the lines of "close your mouth and stop looking around like an idiot, and pay attention to the service". By the time I was 15, I was the star saxophonist in the youth band and played for the church's baseball team. I realize now that the reason for my intense love for church was the friends and family I had created ties with, not the prayers and songs and preachings._

_I realized that I never really believed in anything that was told to me in church. It was a sad moment, because I had lived 18-and-some years thinking my faith was stronger that Paul's and Peter's. But, I came to the conclusion that it was all because of my mother and sister. I didn't stop believing that there was a God, or that he was good, or that he loved me, and I was never resentful. But seeing so many faiths and beliefs shattered, I finally understood that in here, it wasn't about being Jewish, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, Shinto, Free Mason, or whatever else. We were all there for the same reason, and we all had the same underlying beliefs in a greater being._

_Eventually, I ditched the idea of tattooing a cross on my back, and instead got the word coexist worked out with the signs of each religion on my left collarbone and an eagle and an American flag on my right arm. I got a couple of other ones here and there, all meaning a lot to me. None of my family knows I got them, and they would probably crucify me if they found out. They'd probably criticize me to death and disown me, not to mention burn any pictures of me and anything else that would remind them of my existence. They have the idea that people with tattoos are these horrible delinquents, who can do no good and are the roots of all evil._

_Obviously, that's bullshit (excuse my vocabulary) because I am none of those things. I'm still the same Edward Anthony Cullen Masen that I always was, just toughened up and real. Life has roughed me up a little, but that doesn't mean I've changed who I am completely. If I've changed, I'm 200% convinced it's been for the better. I'm not too sure you know what I mean, but a great part of me says you do. You seem like someone that can relate to anything and everything, and I'm almost positive that you are._

_It's a shame to not have known you before, but maybe I knew you in a past life, or I'll know you in another one._

_Sincerely,  
Edward Anthony_

_P.S. I hope your holidays are filled with warmth, and goodness. If I don't get to write back by Christmas, I wish that you get all the things you desire, including those that you think aren't possible._

I smiled and folded the sheets back into place. I thought for a while about everything he had written and got up and walked to the bathroom, shedding my clothes as I went. It was kind of chilly inside the house because I had the windows open during the day. I stood facing the large mirror with many light bulbs in front of the counter with the faucet, and looked over my shoulder to the reflection on the opposite wall, since the bathroom walls were all covered in mirrors.

I looked at the area that was colorfully inked starting on my right shoulder, flowing down to the middle of my back. I smiled and understood Edward Anthony, feeling as if somehow life had made a mistake.

_It's a shame to not have known you before, but maybe I knew you in a past life, or I'll know you in another one._

I agreed silently in my mind and turned off the lights, walking back to my room and slipping under the covers.

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**A/N: Ok, so, I'm sorry I made you wait so long. I know some of you might be a little pissy with me because of it, tehehe. Well, Edward really revealed a lot about himself in this letter. I know some of you might not like that I inked them both up, buuuut, it was a temptation I fell under. We'll have to see what Bella says to his letter.**

**I wanted to thank you guys for the support. It means the world to me that you care, and I can't believe I got 100+ reviews and 100+ story alerts. You lovelies are amazing!**

**Until next time,  
~R Vorenus~**


	8. Some Of Them Started To Wilt

**A/N****: Thank ElissaB for this. :D**

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"Ooooh, here's the mail it never fails it makes me wanna wag my tail, when it comes I wanna wail maaaaaiiiil!"

I looked over my shoulder at Spencer and shook my head. He was an odd one, Spunker was. I got up and stood in line with the other Marines to pick up the mail of the day. It had been two weeks since I wrote back to Isabella and I was estimating a response by now.

"Daddy and mommy have a wittle pwesent for Private Jackson, here." He handed Bill a cardboard box that seemed to be a little heavy. Bill punched him jokingly in the arm and sat on the floor, tearing apart the box.

"Ohh, and wha's this? A Miss Cindy Delanse? Looks like Private Henderson's got a Barbie waitin' for him between the sheets at home." Spencer threw the bulky letter and package at Drew and he grinned dumbly back at him, running to his mattress to open everything up eagerly. This was Christmas all over again for us.

"Chief Warrant Officer Cullen's not too far behin'... He's got another letter from one Miss Bella Marie Swan. Looks like this Marine's not so lonely anymore, eh?" He nudged me and handed me the letter, and I slapped the back of his helmet, smiling and going off to my bed in the farthest, quietest corner of the tent.

I looked around to check that I was completely alone, and picked up the letter along with my iPod. I don't think I could make it through war without music; it seems like something so vital in life, I don't know what I would do without it. Probably go crazy or something.

I hit shuffle on my favorite playlist and opened the envelope, lying down. I was glad to see two sheets this time, printed in neat and clear calligraphy. She had the most beautiful handwriting I had ever seen. It was narrow and the t's and l's and d's and b's had long sticks. The g's and y's and j's and z's were brought down in a curvy way. It said a lot about her, things she couldn't say about herself.

I laid back and started to read, losing track of where I was and who I was.

_Edward Anthony,_

_Thanks for the good wishes, I hope everything is going good with you (as good as its allowed to get, anyway). I just wish you'd stop apologizing every time you curse. I'm not an eighteenth century damsel, who blushes at the swear words of a man. I sort of curse like a sailor sometimes, too. I know it's "improper" and "unattractive" for a woman to do so, but you know, I never really cared what others told me._

_I really didn't care when people started whispering about me as I came to school with a glossy new tattoo on my back. I was the word of mouth among the senior class for months. See, the problem is, people are so quick to judge that they don't stop and ask for reasons before they condemn. I heard the stupidest rumors about my tatt._

_"Oh em gee, did you like, hear what Bella Swan did? She, like, totally got a tramp stamp."_

_"She has stars on the back of her ear like Chris Brown!"_

_"Hey, did you hear about Bella? She got a tattoo on her ass that says 'kiss this'."_

_"Dude, I just saw Bella's tattoo! That shit is sooo raw! She got Bob Marley on her calf!"_

_"You know what someone told me that they saw on Bella's neck? The symbol of the Salem witches!"_

_Yeah, everyone heard everything, and in they end, nobody knew anything. They were all wrong, and had talked crap-loads about me without even knowing what the tattoo was. People speculated and blabbed on and on, but not one person came over to ask me if any of it was true. Like always, I didn't care, and I gave less importance to the looks that some of my teachers gave me. I was no longer Bella the intelligent girl who lead a club and worked for humanity as if it would perish tomorrow if I didn't help out today. I was no longer the independent normal girl that everyone knew. I was the tramp that had been in juvie for 3 weeks and lived on the streets, and whored my way through school. I would soon get a sleeve done and pierce every inch of my body, and start working at a strip joint._

_But it's been almost a year, and I'm still the same Bella I was before the needle pierced my skin. I haven't changed at all, and the majority of people understand that. The first one to understand me was my mother, Renee. She's crazy. Really, she is, I'm not joking about that. She's in an all-girl country band and tours the USA, finding hot single men to have flings with every weekend, then throw away their numbers. But, she was supportive of me when I made my decision._

_It was when my grams died that I knew I wanted to tattoo a part of her soul onto mine, so that she would forever be with me. My grandmother had breast cancer and died after a long, tragic battle with it. She put up a strong face for 7 years, but she was just too weak, and was called to the better place. I don't necessarily mean Heaven, but just somewhere else. I don't really know how the afterlife business works (and I'm not too interested in finding out soon) but I know that anywhere but here she would be happy. She's been suffering for too long, and if ending that pain meant that it would create suffering in me, I was willing to take it up to free her. I loved my grams with the world. She was the one that taught me to always think of others, then maybe consider myself. She was the most selfless, wonderful, caring, intelligent woman I have known in my short span of life. It's a real shame that she didn't live longer, because I know if she would have, she would be one feisty old lady that was very proud of her granddaughter._

_I lived with grams all my life, until she died. Renee was always in one thing or another, so she decided to hand me over to her mother. I think it was the only good decision she ever made. Grams raised me according to her progressive ideas and always cheered me on to do the things I liked and was good at. Whenever I did something that the "boys" would do, Renee would frown, but she would never say anything under the potent glance of grams. I thank her for everything in my life, and most of all for showing me the love that I needed, and teaching me to share it with the world, not to keep it to myself._

_Grams had a favorite flower, the gladiolus, which she would always have in her garden. I don't know how she managed to keep so many beautifully radiant flowers alive, but she did. When she started getting sick, I would take care of the flowers for her, and eventually some of them started to wilt. I remember scrambling around town to look for identical flowers one time when she was coming home from the hospital to walk around a little. I was so embarrassed that so many flowers had died, that I tried to make up for it by shoving new ones into the soil and arranging them to look real. I failed miserably, because I couldn't get a hold of any flowers._

_I was an ostrich that day. I stuck my head under the ground to pretend that everything was fine, and tried to keep grams on detours so that she didn't got o the garden, but she insisted that I go with her. My face fell when I opened the door to the backyard and looked at the significantly small number of flowers, compared to the ones she grew and took care of. A tear ran down my cheek when I accompanied her to the red gladioli, and she plucked out a stem filled with them. She said, "You see these?" and I nodded, and so she continued, "These are my favorite. You've done a great job keeping them healthy. If I ever die, I want you to take these to my grave every time you visit." I told her to hush, that she was talking nonsense, and every day after that, I went to visit her at the hospital with a fresh bouquet of gladioli._

_She was getting worse and worse, and eventually she couldn't come home anymore, not even to visit her flowers. One day I was sitting next to her on the bed and she grabbed my hand. She took a stem of red gladioli and put it on my lap. She told me that she wanted me to plant some in my house, so that I would always have part of her with me. She said that if I was ever to forget her voice, or her face, that looking at the gladioli was enough for me to remember her, and that she would smile from wherever she was when I looked at her flowers and kept them in my heart._

_She died not too much after that, and I was completely distraught for some time. She was my only family. I had Charlie and Renee, but that was shit. They were never around when I needed them and I had no sense of them being my parents or even family. To me, all they were was basically summed up to egg and sperm donors. For all I knew, they could have made me in a test tube and I would have lived happily with grams as my mother. I reflected on our life together, and soon I was composed again. Grams always told me to keep my shin up and stay strong throughout all circumstances. She never liked to see me cry, and always told me that crying wasn't going to solve my problems, and neither was sentimentalism, but it was good for the soul to let it all out sometimes._

_I later found out the meaning of the gladiolus flower. It all made incredible sense when I put it together. The name came from the word in Latin meaning sword, and was affiliated to gladiators, those who were strong warriors in the Roman Empire. The red flower was representative of strength of character and passion for life. That was my grams. She had all of those characteristics and she had definitely fought like a warrior. So, I picked up a stem and sketched it out on the back of some math homework. I added a small design stemming around it, and I called Renee. I was barely seventeen and I wanted to get a tattoo. There was no way in Hell I was going to a parlor as a minor and getting a tatt done without parental consent. I could always do it the bootleg way, but I didn't want to risk anything getting infected._

_So she thought I was being reckless and crazy, as teenagers are, and she immediately agreed. She took me to an old friend's parlor and I fell in love with the design he sketched on the millimeter paper. It was mine, but beautifully done. It didn't have any dark eraser marks or small lines where the pencil wasn't too sure. It was perfect. At first I felt bad about making Renee pay so much money for it since it had a ton of ink and required some serious work, but that all went away when I saw the vibrant red stem of 6 flowers, starting on my shoulder and going down to the middle of my back. He put some oil over it and I was set. I couldn't tear my eyes off it for a month. I kept walking to the bathroom and checking it out._

_And so at Homecoming, with my completely backless dress, everyone finally saw what the tattoo actually was. Some stopped talking, but others kept running their mouths about it. I honestly didn't care, so I let them. Whenever they would see me pass by, they would stop talking abruptly and I would smile and wave sarcastically, demonstrating just how little I cared._

_I think its funny how I understood you perfectly when you were telling me about your family and their opinions. But in the end, it doesn't matter what they say, because you're marked forever. And it's not something to be ashamed of, or regret, because we have our souls marked on our bodies. If people reject that and refuse to look into our hearts through the windows of ink on our flesh, we have no reason to accept them._

_The kindest of regards,  
Bella Marie_

I looked at the clean script over and over, trying to restore my soul to its usual size. Bella had inflated it extraordinarily with her words, and somehow I felt that some otherworldly force had steered me in the right direction when my close friend Sergent Emmett Brawn gave me a little push to join the pen-pal thing. I took the letter and put it back in the envelope, storing it away in a small metal box I had purchased to keep the letters in.

"Cullen!" Emmett boomed, a wide grin on his face.

"Hey, man," I said as we did our handshake.

"Get ready, we're going out tonight. We got a hook-up with some sweet ladies... If you know what I mean," Emmett started wiggling his eyebrows.

I laughed humorlessly just to lighten the mood and shook my head.

"Na, man, I'm staying in tonight. I've been sleeping a lot lately, and I'm taking Frank's night patrol. I'll go next time."

"Aw, come one, man! Let's go! Don't be such a sour pus!"

"Na," I laughed again, waving him off.

"You're gonna miss it..."

"Ah, next time..."

"Whatever, man!" He said and went off to look for someone else to accompany him. I traced a finger over the Arabic designs around the small box and put it under my bed, locking it so that no one could open it while I was gone. I geared up and nodded to some men as I went off into the cold desert darkness.

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**A/N: Okay, lovelies, here's an EPOV. God, I love this Edward. I hope you liked it! Bella will receive the letter for reviews! If not, I'll keep it hostage tehehe. (Well, I could never do that to poor Bella)**

**Love you all for reading, and thank you soo much for the support.**

**You're amazing,  
~R Vorenus~**


	9. The Color Of All Things Livid

I looked at the clock and yawned, untangling myself from the bed sheets and the furry black comforter that smelled like Downy. It was 1 in the afternoon and there wasn't a ray of sunshine out in the skies. The snow poured down like a faucet left open, and I took a shower, getting ready for my day with the girls and Jazz. I picked out the heaviest coat and the warmest sweaters I could find, looking for my extra-protective boots. I found a red scarf and decided to throw it on, thinking I looked like I was going to a funeral in all this black. I should liven it all up a little with a little holiday cheer, some vibrant red.

I picked up the mail on my way out and threw it on the passenger's seat. I'd look at it later on when we were in Jazz's spacious Dodge Ram 1500, riding to his winter house in Tennessee. It'll take about 12 to 18 hours to get there, so I was planing on bringing a couple of things with me to get entertained in the car. I drove to Jasper's house and saw that Rose and Alice were waiting with him inside the truck. He came out and hugged me, taking my large and heavy luggage and putting it into the back of the pickup, closing the top and ensuring our things were secure in the back. I got in the backseat with Rose and said hi to both girls, putting my large bag on the floor. We talked for the first two and three hours, planning more about our projects and hearing the stories of Rose and my letters.

After some time, Rose decided to take a nap and Ali and Jazz were holding hands between the car seats and talking about some private matters I didn't want to eavesdrop in. So, I decided to look through my bag checking to see if I found something of interest to pass the long ride. I found a couple of pencils and my sketch pad. I opened it up and the mail I had stuffed inside carelessly dropped on my lap and the floor. I picked up my mess and looked through the college letters and invitations. Between Dartmouth and Cornell was a letter from Edward Anthony. My heart thudded two beats quicker and I automatically threw the other things aside. I opened the envelop with care and took out the letter, unfolding it. I didn't even notice the things that fell out as my eyes ran down the lines of his script.

_Bella Marie,_

_You don't cease to amaze me with you letters. Every time you write back, a new layer of your soul is peeled back. You reveal a little part of yourself with every word you write, and I appreciate the fact that you put enough trust in me to tell me such personal and deep things about yourself. I might still be a stranger to you, with the little I've said about myself, but I don't feel that you're a stranger to me anymore. I dare to say that I know you better than many of the friends and family I spent years with. You're so easy to relate to, so simple and complex at the same time. If I had one day to go through your mind, I'm afraid that I wouldn't have enough time to go through all your thoughts and navigate your memories. I hope I grow enough on you for you to do the same with me, heheh. You must be thinking that I'm such an audacious ass by now, but you know, I learned that in life; pushing the limits can be good sometimes. I sent you here a picture of all my tattoos, because I thought that maybe it would make you feel more comfortable if I asked you for a picture of yours. It sounds so incredibly beautiful, I couldn't help but want to see it when you described it. I hope it's not too much to ask from you._

_Well, now that I completely violated your privacy, I'll give you reason to feel as if I haven't. So you've told me about your life, your dreams, and yourself, and I've pretty much just ranted about my military life. I think it's unfair to put you through the misery of a couple more thousand words about war, so I'll attempt to cut back on the ranting and actually talk about myself. We've already gone through square one, so I'll share some of my favorites._

_My favorite color is red. My brother always bothered me about it, saying it wasn't manly enough. He said red was for girls, and prided himself in all the blue shirts and tighty whities. He was such a hypocrite, haha; the first thing he did when he turned 16 was buy himself a shiny red car. "I thought red was for girls," I reminded him. "Na, it's a chick magnet," he replied coolly. I just shook my head and laughed at him. How strange life was, the turns it took. At first he would shriek away from girls yelling "Cooties, cooties!" and bitched about my color preferences, and a couple of years later, he was breaking his own promise to never touch a cootied girl and own anything red. He broke a lot of promises those days. Not only the ones he made to himself, but the ones he made to me. As I grew older, I identified the reason why I liked red so much: it was the color of all things livid. It was the color of heat and passion and love. Fire was red, roses were red, hearts were red, my mother's hair was red, and so many other things that I liked were that color. Blood was also that color, I found out in later years._

_My favorite Disney movie of all time is Tarzan. Hands down, it was the only movie that ever made me cry. Not even The Lion King touched me like Tarzan did. The VHS video I had was all used up and the cassette's tape was scratched because of the many times I'd rewound it. I had a girlfriend once, in high school, who for our anniversary sat me down on her couch and handed me a bowl of popcorn, putting an exclusive version of a Tarzan DVD into her surround-sound home theater system. I thought we were meant to me at that point, but later I realized she really wasn't the one. Maybe we would have lasted longer if she was a little smarter, a little less ditsy and more preoccupied about reality than the dream world where we got married and had 10 babies and lived in a castle in the sky. Anyhow, Tarzan always inspires me. He's full of perseverance, and he's honest and kind and friendly. He might be a brute, but he's so much more human than many of the men I know. My favorite part is when he's fighting Clayton, in the end, when Clayton is stuck in the vines and cuts himself them to his death. I can never understand how he tried to save Clayton in the end and felt sad that he couldn't do anything to prevent his death. I'm still amazed to this day, and admire Tarzan deeply. I know he's a fictional character, but, what the hell, he's amazing. The way he works so hard to be accepted by Kerchak, and kills the cheetah, saving him. I was always amazed by how much he cared about someone that cared so little for him. Another thing that I love about him is when he decides to go with Jane, and he tells Kala that no matter where he is, she will always be his mother. Damn, I think I just spilled a tear on the paper. I hope the ink doesn't run, so you won't know if I spilled any others._

_My favorite food is Macaroni and Cheese. I think that's the only thing besides cereal that I can make and it won't come out tasting like its putrid. I can also made a mean Sundae, but I don't think that counts because it's not really food. Easy Mac was my favorite when I was at the dorms of Princeton. It was super cheap and quick to make, so every time I went to Wall Mart, I'd load up my cart with it and bring home tons of Easy Mac boxes. My refrigerator had few things, considering that I didn't really know how to cook anything. If I was ever hungry for some home-cooked meals, I'd go to Mary's Diner, a small comfy place a couple of minutes down the road of the popular indie movie theater everyone went to on Wednesday nights. Roberta, the owner, knew me by name and memorized the way I liked my food cooked. She used to call me "son" all time. She was a sweet older woman, probably in her 60's, but her spirit was young. She was always welcoming and grew on me very much throughout the short time I spent in college. On nights where things got really busy and the four waitresses, three cooks, and two dishwashers weren't enough, I'd take a small trip to the dorm, change my clothes into something comfortable and go help out in the kitchen. The first time I offered, she was opposed to it, saying that clients don't work, but I told her family does. She was touched and never said a word again when I came in with sweat pants and a t-shirt. ready to wash some dishes. I think the only thing that pained me when I decided to leave Princeton was that I was leaving Roberta behind, too. The day I left, I went to the diner early in the morning, to tell her I was going. She gave me breakfast and packed me lunch and dinner. She gave me a huge bowl of her specialized macaroni and cheese with a hint of pepper and more cheese than macaroni per bite. It was a sad moment, but I lived through it like many others._

_My favorite holiday is my birthday. I know it sounds really egotistical, but it's not completely that way. I just loved my birthday because all my family and friends came over, and we would have a huge celebration with lots and lots of food and blasting music. I always enjoyed being surrounded by the people I loved, and when it came to my birthday, everyone would come over to celebrate Edward Anthony and Anthony Edward's day. I think maybe that was a the real reason for which I liked it, because I got to share the day with my brother. It wasn't just about me, like it was in school, or in sax class, or in sports; it was about us. I hated having a spotlight shone straight at my face all the damn time. I really didn't see anything special about me, and I just despised it when people would force me to do things and brag on and on about how great I was. I knew I really wasn't that special, so it was painful to sit through conversations between my father and his friends about what a bright and rich future I had ahead of me. The only time where I would be left alone would be on my birthday. The problem was that Anthony never really cared about our parents, or his life much. He wasted it away thinking it was going to be around forever. He got into some pretty stupid things and didn't care when he got in trouble for them. One time, he got caught with 70 ounces of weed in his backpack in school, and dad weaseled him out of it, but not without a long, angry conversation and some slaps here and there. Obviously, I would be the favorite, being the one who worked extra hard and stayed out of trouble like a golden boy. Next to my brother, it was no wonder I seemed like perfection. But I hated it. There was nothing more that I hated than being compared to my brother. We were two completely different people, and it was impossible to want us to be the same. Just because we had the same face didn't mean we had the same heart. But, I loved him either way. And our birthday was a day where Anthony and I would both be the suns that the world revolved around, regardless of the things we did or didn't do. And, honestly, I was happy that it was that way._

_So, I guess that's all you need to know about me in the realm of basics. It's pretty simple, but hey, those are the foundations. I try to add humor to everything, as you can tell, because I realized somewhere along the way that taking life too seriously is a dangerous thing. But something I do have to take seriously, however, are my superior's orders, which I've been procrastinating lately for the sake of a little lady a couple thousand miles away._

_I hope this finds you well and happy, and that you don't freak out when you see my pictures and call the police claiming some wacko in another country is sending you inappropriate content (hahaha)._

_Kinder regards than yours,  
Edward Anthony_

"What are you smiling at?" Rose asked, looking at me amused.

"Nothing," I said and folded the letter back into place, picking up the pictures that had fallen on my lap before I started reading the letter.

"It must be something to make you blush like that," Alice said, turned around in her seat and looking at me with a knowing glance.

"You guys need to shut up," I said laughing, quickly putting everything away and making a mental note of opening it up again at night when we arrived at Jazz's place.

I dug through my bag and found my headphones, plugging them into my phone and picked a song to fit my mood. I stole Rose's blanket and pillow as she was playing Halo online and didn't even notice. I curled up in the large seat and tried to fall asleep, for there was a long journey to go.

* * *

**A/N: So, I've noticed that there has been much less support these last 2 chapters, but I'm not going to apologize for anything I write. It's too bad for those that don't like it, but I still have a lot of people who are cheering me on. Thanks a ton readers, you're lovely!**

**I appreciate that you all keep me going, and I thank you once again for all the things you tell me.**

**Bella's going to write back soon (if she sees that I get some reviews). A happy writer makes a happy Bella. :D**

**Yours truly,  
~R Vorenus~**


	10. He Started To Grow On Me

**A/N: A little treat for you guys, because you've been amazing!**

* * *

I felt someone shake me, and I was confused as to who was calling my name. I slowly opened my eyes and Ali's small face was close to mine.

"Bella? We're at the rest stop, hon. We still have about another 6 or 7 hours to go, so Jazzy wanted to stop to get something to eat and stretch out. Let's go."

I stretched a little and put on my boots, getting out of the warm confines of the car, into the biting cold street.

"I'll race you inside," I told Alice and the little devil didn't even nod before she took off. It didn't take her 5 seconds to make it into the nice atmosphere of Starbucks, and I came a couple of moments after her.

"Oi, that's why I'm an activist, not a cross-country runner."

She laughed at me and went to Jazz's side in the line. I signaled that I was going to the bathroom and rushed to the closest one. I checked that there wasn't a line, so that I didn't have to wait. I wasn't really going to use the bathroom, so I didn't want to waste my time. I sneaked through some women fixing their hair and putting on make-up and made my way into the cleanest stall I could find and locked myself inside. I hung my bag on the hanger in the back of the door and frantically looked through the papers I had all messily shoved inside, and found the envelop with the pictures. I grinned excitedly and took out the 4 pictures inside.

The first was of his upper body, his bare back, and it was captioned on the reverse side "My Fav". There, I saw the most beautiful work of ink that was ever known to man. I think I even gasped audibly at the sight of it. It was so well done, so beautifully worked out, in such great detail. On his broad back, there was a map of the world painted as if on the parchment Magellan kept close to him in his travels. It looked like a faded portrayal of the world, in toned down shades of every color. It looked like a worn-out page from a book Vespucci would own, all the continents a faded forest green, the oceans a lapis lazuli that the frescoes could envy. If the tattoo would have been taken a picture of alone, it could have fooled any cartographer. It was such grandiose work, I was for an instant jealous I didn't know the author of that work.

The next picture was of his arm, the one with the eagle and the American flag that he had described so excitedly in one of the letters. The eagle was beautiful, a symbol of the American strength and the national symbol. Its eyes were onyx and seemed to stand out from his arm. The whiteness of its head had a great contrast with his tan arm. The gold beak seemed almost to come out and take a snap at you from its inked-on place. The wings were almost angelic, spanning out on his broad arm. The vibrant red and blue from the flag was impressive, even sort of glossy at the first glance. The stars were impeccably done. They seemed to be perfectly cut out of the flag and pasted on.

The third picture was of his torso, and showed two smaller tattoos. There on his collarbone laid almost stencil-like the worked out "coexist". Each letter or symbol was beautifully inked on in a precious black. It was coal black, so deep that it didn't seem to be tattooed, but painted on with a fine brush. The c was the Islamic crescent; the o was a peace sign; the e had the male and female symbols sticking out from some ends. The x was the Jewish Star of David, the Karma wheel dotted the i for Buddhism; the yin and yang of the Tao in the Taijitu represented the s; the t ended the word with a Christian cross. It looked so good on his collarbone, almost as if it belonged there naturally. On his right hipbone, he had Arabic writing that seemed almost enchanting. I didn't know what it meant, but I would ask the next time I wrote to him. On his right wrist there was a batman sign and I smiled, because he was my favorite Superhero, too. The last picture was of his ankle, where "Whatever doesn't kill you can only make you stronger" was written in script.

I'm not sure, but I think my jaw dropped and I started to drool a river as I laid eyes on the unreal pictures between my fingers. There was no possible way in this earth that Edward Anthony could be so freaking buff. The pictures I was looking at of his body, and the tattoos on it, as well as the eight-pack, was that of a Greek God. I would make sure to comment on his use of photoshop in the next letter I wrote to him. It was impossible for anyone's body to be so perfect. His shoulders were broad and every muscle in his upper body was sculpted to immaculate perfection. I think Michelangelo's David would be pretty jealous of this piece of meat and bones.

Holy crap. I was in shock. I flipped through the pictures again and was amazed even more every time I saw another one. His biceps were beyond words. His back muscles were so worked that it almost looked as if someone had sketched them onto the picture. His shoulders were heavenly, large and stunningly structured. It was all too good to be true, so I started to doubt that it was really him. None of the pictures had his face on it, so I couldn't tell. I didn't know what he looked like, either, so even if there was a face to connect the body to, he could have taken pictures of another Marine and fooled me easily.

But, he didn't seem to be that kind of guy. I was sort of upset at myself for thinking so lowly of him. Edward Anthony hadn't said anything to prove to me that he was that type of person, so I shouldn't be doubting him the way I did. It was just hard not to, since I never really trusted a lot of people these days. Sure, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie and Jacob were on the list, but it wasn't as if they'd gained my trust overnight. It took Jake 13 years of mud pie-making and secret-sharing for me to think of him as a best friend. It took Al from Kindergarten to Sixth grade. Rose took all of elementary and middle school, and for some crazy reason, Jazz only took freshman and sophomore year to grow on me. It felt so strange that I trusted this unknown face overseas so much quicker than anyone else I'd known. But I think there was something to do with the fact that he was so far away and so isolated from my world that he couldn't use what I told him to hurt me. But even if we were hundreds of thousands of miles away, I felt that we connected on a very deep level. It wasn't one of those superficial things like "Oh, my, God! You like Caramel Frappuccinos, too?" It was something like "Wow, you belong to another dimension just like me?"

Maybe I was jumping to conclusions here, and maybe I was being an overly-emotional kid, but I think I was starting to feel something for Edward that was more than just the friendly interest of a pen-pal buddy to a Marine. He seemed to me like the person I was supposed to have met long ago, but life didn't let me. I felt a little let down at this thought, but shrugged it off. I thought about the reason for which I would feel that way, and I was a little bit scared, in all honesty. I didn't really do that "love" thing, you know... I call it the "l" word, because I don't really mention it, either. There's something about it that just sort of scares me, and I was scared crapless right now at my thoughts. So, I would admit it, I liked this Edward Anthony Cullen Masen guy, but the reason was because he was like a fictional character. He was someone I didn't know, and someone whose truths I would discover through the reading of his stream of consciousness. He was a novel, and I was a reader that didn't want to put it down.

But maybe, just maybe, he started to grow on me not because of the fantasy, but because this was so real.

**Time to switch gears, lovelies...**

We were called out for training at the base early in the morning. We woke up at 2:15 sharp and got dressed in the 5 minutes that was permitted of us, and made our bed in the next 5 minutes. I'd devised an easier way to make my bed, so that it only took 2 minutes to do, giving me an extra 3 to dress. I'd make my bed a certain way before I'd go to sleep and jump out when the whistles were blown. I'd be one of the first ones out, meaning I'd start training first, and would finish before the others, giving me some free time in the showers. But today I was kind of on an off-ball.

That was really odd.

I woke up this morning a little drowsy. Usually that didn't happen, because even if I had half an hour of sleep, I'd be able to function perfectly. The problem was that I had been dreaming 2 out of the 3 hours I slept. I won't dwell on the details, but it will suffice to say that they were impossible fantasies of far away lands and far away peoples. My past and present morphed into one, and images of the unknown unfolded before my eyes and my unconscious revealed all the desires of my heart. My heart. That confused beating lifeline was messing with me and playing tricks that not even an enemy would. I delayed 2 minutes in the making of my bed, so it took me longer to get dressed properly. When I saw that I was being left behind with the other Marines, I tried to hurry things up, but slowed myself down in the process. I did the buttons on my combat shirt wrong, so that one side was longer than the other. I decided to leave it like that and tuck my shirt in my pants, but I couldn't find my belt. It was a disaster, to say the least.

Emmett walked by and gave me a look that told me to haul ass if I wanted to stay out of trouble with the sergents. When it came time for random trainings, everyone was treated the same, and it really didn't matter what rank you were if you weren't a Sergent. I quickly slipped on my boots and threw my helmet on. I ran outside to see that I was one of the farthest behind, and sprinted toward the rest, trying to join them. I was a pretty fast runner, so ti wasn't a problem, but when we got into the actual training I was just atrocious. We were practicing shooting and dodging with paintball gins today, and if this would have been with actual bullets, I would have died ages ago. I had so many splats of red all over my uniform, the embarrassment would be difficult to wash off, even if I tried hard enough. I tripped twice and I missed the targets every time I shot at the dummies. I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me today, but I had to figure it out soon, and fix it. If i didn't get my crap together, I would get into serious problems.

When we finished the training and went back to the tent, around 5 in the morning, I was the last one in. For some reason I was actually tired. I shed my clothing in the Chief Warrant Officer's bathroom quarters and turned on the cold water. It always helped my bones and muscles liven up and spring into action. Today, all it did was make my teeth shatter a little and the purple bruises all over my body ache. I looked at them and couldn't understand why it was that they were there. I had never had problems in training, and the only time I was ever wounded was once when we were in the forests of Kandahar, where a bullet pierces my calf. I had to sit in the infirmary for a week, but I healed fast, and it wasn't too big of a deal, so I got over it and started to train again. The only reason why I was ever wounded was because we were distracted while hidden in a bush, waiting for some Taliban. Obviously, this seems like a stupid thing to do at war, but after 36 hours in hiding without a soul around you, you start wondering if there's a target at all.

I was distracted when I got shot.

Distracted.

It all fell into place with that thought. I realized why I was in such a retarded condition today, doing everything wrong and losing focus. I was distracted, and it was all due to a certain Bella Marie girl I'd been talking to for months. As I scrubbed the bruises mindlessly, I winced a couple of times, forgetting they were there. So that was the source of my distraction, Bella Marie. I didn't even know her and I was already thinking about her and getting myself into trouble.

I felt stupid.

How could I let such a small thing as a teenage fling get in the way of my training and the importance of my efficiency in this war? I was here to fight for our country, and it had to be done right, if not I wouldn't have come here. But this girl so far away seemed to be important enough for me to think about her and forget myself while doing something so critical as military duties were. I didn't know her physically, but she was so interesting, she was so full of life, so full of everything. I felt as if I should have met her years and years ago. But then again, maybe if I would have, I wouldn't be here now. I'm sure of that, almost. If I would have had her at home, I would have never had a reason to leave.

I stopped myself there, fearing that I was getting into unwanted territory. Unnecessary thoughts, words, and wishes, that would do me no good. I dot dressed and headed for our quarters, lying down on my bed. It was 5:15 am. We would have time to sleep until7, when we would be rudely awakened for more combat training, this time on bombing. I turned around and stuffed my face into my hard pillow. What I would give to be home, with the softness of the pillows I used to sleep on, and the warmth of the room I used to own. My bed was comfortable and the room was bright. I would have my music playing loudly at all times.

I sighed into the pillow. I tried to divert my thoughts from her with the pictures of my old life, but she kept coming up. I didn't have a picture for her, but I knew that if her face was as beautiful as her soul, she would look like an angel.

I never really gave my feelings much thoughts these days, I mean, I never really had a large range of them over here. But this strange twinge inside me started to throb, and it worried me. I didn't know what it was. That was a lie. I knew what it was. It was that thing I didn't really like to think about or call by name. It was something I hadn't felt in years and years.

* * *

**A/N: So, there's no letter in this one, buuuut, I'm almost sure you won't hate me for it because of what I gave you. :D I hope you enjoyed the fluffyness!**

**Happy New Year!  
~R Vorenus~**


	11. I'm Exactly The Same

I put myself together and threw my thoughts aside, making my way back to the girls and Jazz sitting on a table drinking coffee. As I approached, Alice looked at me worried and waited for me to sit down to speak.

"Bella? Do you feel OK? You're super red."

I started to panic inside my mind and kept a cool facade out, looking around like I had no idea what she was talking about, buying me some time to make something up.

"I didn't notice when I was in the bathroom. I guess it's that its so cold." I fixed my scarf and hugged myself.

"In 4 layers of clothing? Alright..." Rose said.

They finished their drinks and waited for me to buy my smoking hot chocolate. I took it along the way so that we could get ahead. Our trip lasted quite a long while and I took a couple of naps here and there, some of them painted with the ink that I was so flustered over.

We got to the house and went to our rooms to drop off our things to go eat dinner. After we had said our good nights, Al and Jazz went to their room and Rose and I went to the guest bedroom we were sharing. We turned off the lights and warmed ourselves up under the covers, trying to go to sleep. I would close my eyes and move around in this or that direction, but I couldn't fall asleep.

After a couple of hours had ticked by on the clock, I got up and took my pens and papers with me. I walked to the living room and turned on the light. I brought a large quilt with me and settled on the corner of the couch. I thought for a moment and regretted not bringing my computer. I could always ask Rose for hers, but it was too late for that. The only way I'd be able to fall asleep was if I wrote to Edward, so he'd have to forgive me for any spelling errors.

Two weeks and two souls starting to unite later...

Mail time again. I don't remember ever having been so excited about anything. Maybe graduating from high school, but that didn't compare to this in the least. I was anxious to see a little more of Bella Marie's soul. In this letter, she would hopefully send me a picture of her beautiful tattoo, and would give me a response to what I sent her. Recently Emmett was the one passing out the mail, because Spunker was blown up with two others of our unit by a roadside bomb three weeks ago.

He handed out everyone's things and looked at me, shrugging. I narrowed my eyes and looked at his hands. He had two letters, and I ripped one from him.

It was addressed to:

Emmett Brawn  
US Military Base 78962  
Kabul, Afghanistan

And came from:

Rosalie Lillian Hale  
1731 New Hampshire Avenue NW  
Washington, DC 20009

"Oh, looks like I'm not the only whipped one here, huh?" I raised an eyebrow and he threw my a punch, frowning and throwing me the letter he had taken.

"Mind your own business, Cullen," he said scowling and stalked off.

That one was a real case when he was in love with a girl. He'd act like such a dumbass trying to deny I. I shook my head and stopped laughing at Emmett, feeling a tad bit hypocritical at the comments. But he and the chick had sent themselves about a million pictures from day one, and it wasn't as if they were all PG, if you catch my flow. But, that's how Emmett was, you couldn't change him. Apparently this Rosalie girl was the same, so they found their matches just right.

I took the letter and felt an extra weight that wasn't of paper. I grinned to myself dumbly and ran to my bed. Some of the other Marines working on new artillery technology looked at me with strange expressions and laughed at my overly eager reception of mail.

_Edward Anthony,_

_It's me that's audacious this time, because not only did I send a picture of my tattoo, but I also sent one of myself. I felt it would be awkward just having a random picture of my back, not having a face to relate it to. You wouldn't mind sending me a picture of yourself, would you? I hope you don't get scared and decide to back out now, hahaha. I really do have to say, however, that you must have some amazing technology in the military to alter photos, because there's no way your body's that amazing. I don't mean to insult you, or make you feel bad, but damn, it had me wondering if you cut it out of some magazine. Of course, you probably do look like that, but it's just hard for me conceive in my mind that there's someone so perfectly structured in this universe. There aren't a great deal of men around here, and the boys that there are don't even compare to your shadow._

_Alright, I'll admit I was ogling_ _your pictures, but it's not only because you're so well-built, so don't get your knickers in a twist about it. It's also because it's so rare for me to see this. It's hard to believe that someone like me would ever meet someone like you. All the guys I've ever talked to are the nerdy ones that play World of Warcraft or Dungeons and Dragons. There was this one guy that took me to a video game store for our second date. We spent 4 hours looking at a computer screen, watching Eve Online download into the main server. I got home late because he was wire transferring some money from his account to his friends' and he couldn't give me a ride home. As you can clearly see, this is definitely something new._

_Now, about Tarzan, you totally won_ _me over with that. But, I do have to beg to differ: I'm a Disney princess girl. Even though I hate most of them and think they're just a bunch of bimbos who wear puffy dresses and have nothing in their heads but empty space and lots of hot air, I must admit that I love one. Belle. She reminds me of myself a lot. We even have the same name, sort of, heh. When I was a little girl I would watch Beauty and the Beast over and over, and eventually I knew every singe line. Sometimes I watch it over now, and I mouth the words; my friends think its really weird, but at least I'm not annoying them by saying them out loud. Sometimes I think about how I would be if I was in the place of Belle. I think maybe if they made the movie with me as the protagonist instead of her, there would have been no plotline, because I wouldn't of had an arrogant bastard trying to woo me and ruining my life._

_That's when I started noticing the differences between Belle and I, when the bubble was starting to pop. She was so beautiful, and intelligent, and she loved to read with such a passion. I always identified with her, because I had the bookworm part down-packed. But, I wasn't nearly as beautiful as her, and I never would be. I wasn't loved by so many people, as the townsfolk loved her even if she was "odd" to them. That's when I discovered my true self. I might not grow to be a pretty woman, but I would surely be an intelligent one, so I made it my goal to always be smart and keep feeding my need for books. I might not reflect it on the outside, but I was going to make my insides as beautiful as the rose that the Beast had in the crystal. I would always love those that weren't beautiful, and see through those that were and had rotten insides. I soon became a person that judged very little on physique, and focused very much on the brain and the heart. I completely blame you for awakening the superficial monster in me, and making me focus so much on your body. Shame on you for corrupting me, haha._

_But you know, what I saw when I held those pictures wasn't just a worked out chest or a broad back that had been exercised, or biceps that had been toned, or... Ok, I'll stop. I saw a strong man, one that has worked hard and done a lot of things n his life to make him who he is. I don't want to go off on a long tangent about who i think you are, because it would be really impolite for me to sit here and tell you who you are, but I'll tell you who I think you've been from what you've said and showed me:_

_You're sweet, but you don't let yourself get carried away, and check up on yourself every once in a while to remind yourself of who you need to be. You were once a very happy person, but the tribulations you've gone through have changed your life completely. You're not bitter, but you're bitingly realistic, and you know the limits of optimism and pessimism. You're true to yourself, beyond all, and have an incredible mental solidity. You know what is expected of you, and you exceed those expectations ridiculously, going the extra 10 miles, instead of just 1. You're full of love, but it's misguided and you're scared to let it show, or direct it toward someone. You've been through some tough situations, and you've come out like a phoenix, burning up and rising from the ashes. Your heart is made of gold, but sometimes, the gold is hardened so that people don't come in because you're afraid that they'll hurt you. You're brave, and have courage to last for 100 men. Even if you're afraid, you don't care, you put up a front and go forward as if nothing happened. You take every single lesson life throws at you and throw it in your pocket, sealing it tight so that it can't fall out of slip away. Your mind works in all the wrong way, but it's perfectly right. You don't just think, you analyze. You feel. You take everything and make it your own._

_How do I know this, or think that I do? Because I'm exactly the same._

_I hope to hear from you soon,  
Bella_

* * *

**A/N: Well, here's another! Thanks so much for reading, and I appreciate all the support and love, dearies! I tried something new here, putting and EPOV and a BPOV with a letter, tell me what think. You'll have to wait for edward's reaction in the next chapter, though, because I'm just so evil that way. ^_^**

**Best wishes to you all in this new year!**

**Lovingly yours,  
~R Vorenus~**


	12. You're Completely Right

I didn't know what to do with myself. Maybe I should have started by picking up my jaw from the floor, and pretending like it was no big deal, now that everyone was looking at me strangely. I composed myself and coughed, trying to mask my surprise with a cold of some sort. The guys looked at me even more now, knowing I was trying to hide something. I looked back at them and scowled, and they looked down to what they were doing before I was the center of attention.

Wow, I was right. Bella did look like an angel. Her inside shone through and reflected in her face. Her face was a lovely heart shape, her chin small and rounded. Her hair was a reddish brownish blackish mess of cuteness. It was wavy and fell on her shoulders and down her arms. It looked soft, and seemed to smell as good as it looked. What I would give to be in enough of a proximity to her to smell it, the perfume surely as appealing as she was. Her lips were full, and I dwelled there for a minute or two, thinking about them, and how they would feel on mine one day. Oh, the wistful thinking I should stop focusing on. Her nose was small and pretty, not too wide nor narrow, and it didn't seem to jut out. Her eyes, my favorite among the other features I admired on her, seemed so alive, almost as if a spell was put in the picture so that they would penetrate my soul.

Her shoulders were soft and feminine, her collarbone shone nicely under layers of creamy skin. I was glad to see she wasn't too thin, but normal. She was... just right. I daresay she was almost perfect... And, she was. She was too perfect for me, almost unreal. I was in such a daze, I forgot she sent me a picture of her tattoo as well. I snapped out of the dreamy state and flipped to the other picture, and my eyes widened at the sight. I usually never showed any emotion toward anything, and kept things to myself, but I couldn't hold it in this time. Her back was not only beautiful, but it had the most amazing ink I had ever seen. She was pure vanilla ice cream with creamy swirls. The flowers really did suit her, and after hearing her reason for having them done, I was sure it was beautiful. The colors were so vibrant and the picture was so amazingly done, that they almost looked as if they were picked out of her garden and pressed to her back.

I flipped back to the picture of her, and looked at it again, trying to adjust my eyes to her pretty little face.

"Ah, she's not that bad, but mine's hotter!"

Emmett came around and shoved a picture of a sunshine blond with huge boobs in my face, and I jumped back, hiding the picture of Bella close to me.

"You really have to let that go, you know," he pointed at the picture, "You're not gonna last another day if you keep daydreaming about," he changed his voice into a high pitch and batted his eyelashes, "Bellaaaa."

I scowled at him and tucked everything away in the envelope, looking under my bed for the metal box with all her letters, and opened it. I put it inside and closed it again, hiding it back in its place.

"Emmett, mind your own life, man..."

"Hey, no fair!" he roared, "You get into my business all the time, too! That's what best friends are for!" he gave me a slap on the back that would have made my lungs crash against my ribcage if I was a regular Joe Shmoe.

"Dude," I looked at him and shook my head, getting up and taking my gear with me to go on patrol. I would write back when I came back from patrolling along the forests. I'd make sure to be extra careful tonight, so that I could come back and write her all the things I wanted to say.

A FedEx plane full of letters and 3 Post Offices later...

"Bella, seriously, you have this aura about you.. it's amazing... I've never seen something like it! It's beautiful! It's like, this reddish-purplish color that totally makes you stand out... And I can't even begin to tell you about..."

I tried to block out Jessica's senseless rambling, but today I was feeling friendlier and nicer than usual, so I let her rant. I was feeling a bit chipper this morning, so I didn't tell her to shut up and go away. We were in AP Italian Literature and she just wouldn't stop running her mouth. Mr. Dellionni stepped out of the class for a minute and she snapped back at me, talking about everything she could in a second.

I nodded and said "yeah" and "totally, I know what you mean" here and there to add something to the conversation apart from her annoying voice.

Thank God the teacher came back before I ripped Jessica's vocal chords out. She unknowingly saved her. I was feeling happy, but I was also a little snappy because I hadn't gotten a chance to open Edward's letter. I brought it with me to school to see if I had a minute or two today, but I sit in the front row of all my classes, so I wasn't able to get away with it. This was the last class of the day, and the only one I sat in the back in because he made us sit in alphabetical order.

I discretely opened the envelope when someone coughed in the corner and slipped the sheet between the pages of my finished novel.

_Bella,_

_You're completely right. You said you'd never be as beautiful as Belle. She's nothing next to you. If you looked anything like her, I wouldn't be able to say that you're completely precious. It might sound like I'm flattering you, but in all honestly, you're gorgeous. Not only is your heart filled with beauty, and your soul the pure definition of it, but your face is the description of it. I never doubted that you'd be anything less, because even if you were, you'd still be beautiful to me because of your words. But you really took me by surprise there. I knew you'd be pretty, but not this much heheh._

_The Commander in charge of our unit told us that we'd be meeting our pen-pals soon, but I didn't know just exactly how soon that would be. I wish it was tomorrow, so that I could finally see you up front, and we could talk face-to-face. I've been wondering what your voice sounds like lately, because the sweetness of the words you write must also be sweet to the ears when you speak them. It's odd how sometime we don't know people exist, and life just throws us a curve ball and puts strangers into out lives, making them the closest things we have. You were once that stranger, but life has put me closer to you than to myself. I know it might be a little early to say anything, but I feel like I've known you forever. It fills me up to look into your life and past, and have you share with me so many intimate things. You inspire deep confidence in me, and I don't feel apprehensive about telling you anything at all._

_And another thing, you were right. You do have me down to the dotted i's and crossed t's. There's still more, you know, so I don't want you thinking that this is it, and we have nothing else to talk about. There's much more, and even if there wasn't, I have to admit, I might make something up to keep you interested and writing to me. I'm pretty sure that I'll never lose interest in what you have to say, because every letter is another world and uncovers so many things about you. I really enjoy reading what you write, because you're so insightful about everything and pour out wisdom that is so far beyond your age that it amazes me. You've lived so much, I don't think I can even compare to what you've lived, because although I've done military service for a couple of years, your empathy has made you lived through it, too._

_I'm really sorry for the brevity of the letter, but I've been having to do patrol duty a lot lately, since I took some time off a couple of months ago in order to rest, when I was shot in the leg. I've been trying to find some time to write to you, and this is the most I've had. I have to be honest with you, writing back to you is not easy. I have to think so hard to make things sound right, because I don't want anything to come out wrong or sound stupid. It would totally ruin my plans of wooing you._

_Audacious hugs,  
Edward_

_P.S. I sent you a goodie along with the letter. I hope you like it._

"Miss Swan? Would you like to share with the class what's so funny that you're laughing during silent reading time?"

I shrugged and shook my head.

"I have a macabre sense of humor, Mr. Dellionni. Dante's Inferno is highly amusing to me..."

Everyone looked back at me and gave me faces, then turned back and started taking notes on the lesson. My pocket vibrated and I took out my Blackberry.

_You need to stop that blushing, Bellz  
xx Alie Pixie_ xx

I looked to make sure the teacher was distracted and typed back a quick message.

_I will KILL you if you keep bringing that up. K? :  
- The Bellanator -_

_Jasper's gonna kick your ass :P  
xx Alie Pixie xx_

I looked up at her, smiling smugly from two rows over, and I stuck out my tongue at her.

"Miss Swan, would you like to enlighten the class as to what the importance of Petrarch's writings were? It seems that today you're oh-so attentive."

I smiled at him and went on a bitchy intelligent rant that was full of arrogance and knowledge. If I didn't treat him that way, he'd step all over me.

"Additionally, in the Italian culture of the time, it was incredibly rare for-"

"That will be all, Miss Swan," he talked over me. "Keep your ego at bay in my class, if you please," he smiled.

I was planning on checking out the "goodie" Edward was talking about, but it would be impossible for the rest of the period. This pompous ass of a teacher I had was keeping an eye on me. I'd just have to wait till I got home to see what it was he had for me.

* * *

**A/N: A little bit of the high school scene for you guys. :P Just a reminder that they live in real time, and have unpleasentries among the loveeeee spell they're under. Well, that was all folks. Another one with 2 POVs and a letter. Hope you liked the romantic Eddie-pooh. I'm not a great fan of mushiness, but I know there's fluff lovers out there! Hahaha.**

**Love you like always,  
~R Vorenus~**


	13. In The Light Of Dawn

_Edward,_

_How very cocky of you to call your picture a goodie. I thought you were a little more modest than that, and to be honest I was disappointed. Haha, na, that's all bullshit. You have reason to be cocky, and veery cocky. I have to say, the body goes well with the face. I don't know why you never picked up modeling. You could have made a difference by entrancing women into donating money for UNICEF or something. I'm sure they'd all go gah-gah over you. You could have worked for those auctions, you know, the ones where all the proceeds go to charity and you have 10 bachelors who are willing to go out on dates with the women who donate the most. That would be so much fun, you should have tried that. Maybe if you discovered these options of helping out the world, you wouldn't be so far away. But then again, maybe I wouldn't have met you and fell for your courting._

_You really are horrible, you know that? Such a freaking sycophant. It's not like I'm that big of a deal, because I'm really not. Sure, I have that simple beauty of someone kind of plain, but I look like nothing standing next to Rose. I'm sure Emmett's paraded pictures of here all around camp, so I forgive you for not mentioning her. In the end, it really doesn't matter to me, because it's the inside Bella who's talked to you for so long and told you all about herself. It would be a shame if I was just a pretty face and all I talked about was my favorite nail polish color, or the latest fashions. Maybe that's what I most like about you. You don't talk crap. You're always willing to read what I say even if it's boring and serious sometimes, and you actually care, or seem to care anyways. Thanks for being there for me, I really appreciate it. It started out as me wanting you to talk about yourself and your problems, but it quickly turned into a two-way street from there. Damn you for ruining my plans, you selfless, adorable jerk._

_I'm never going to forgive you for making me laugh in your last letter. You're terrible! I got in trouble for not paying attention in class, and it was all because of you. I'm mad at you now, because first you get me in trouble and then you hold information from me. I feel like I'm being cheated! Haha, you know I'm just joking. You said there was more to know about you, but what else can you say? I've sort of lost myself in the ocean of your mind, and trust me, it's hard to find myself again in how vast the sparkling blue water of thoughts is. You amaze me, with your strength and the endurance with which you carry yourself. But, I want to know more. You said there's lots more, and I have a feeling that I haven't heard even the smallest portion of it. I want to know all those things you skip over when you write to me. I want you to fill in those blanks you quickly shrug off. I want to read the whole excerpt, not just skim through it like you've been doing. I must say, even if you've not told me everything yet, I've grown very close to you through the things you have said._

_I must say, though, I thought your last letter was ridiculous. What's all this talk about me and how great I am? It was a good joke though, when you said you were wooing me, because I could never believe that such a gorgeous guy like you would be single. Then again, it does occur to me that you would be, because you're so different from everyone else. It's like the universe effed up when you came around, and made you all wrong for the world. But wanna know a little secret? The universe effed up in my creation too, so it made you perfect for me. God, I love mistakes. But somehow, I don't think you're a mistake, or I'm a mistake. I think the mistake was in the separating of our souls. I don't know what happened along the way that fate decided to be cruel, but destiny overcame either way and tangles our strings together. I'm glad that somehow it happened, by the alignment of the planets, or the way the stars moved, and the idea of doing this popped into my mind. But in the end, it's done both of us good._

_I only regret not thinking of this sooner._

_I don't think it's possible to miss someone you don't know, but in these circumstances, I'll admit that I do miss you. Because I might have never had you by my side, but I feel as if I have. You've never been with me physically, but you've resided deep in my soul for long enough for me to feel that your absence is bittersweet. I don't really know how to describe my feelings toward you, because I just don't have words, for the first time, to express them. It's an odd thing, this throb in my heart, but I guess I'll take it for what it is. I don't think I need to label it for you to know, because I feel through your words that you've had the ache within you, too._

_Sweet regards,  
Bella_

I put down her letter, still smiling, but my eyebrows furrowed. I knew exactly what I had to write her.

Two weeks of teasing from Alice and Emmett later...

I looked at his picture, sitting lazily on my night table. He was so gorgeous, I could hardly believe that I could have any sort of relationship, friendship or otherwise with someone like that. He had a handsome air to him, something of a modern man but also of a classical sort. His jaw was strong and the lines of it very defined, not harsh, but... manly. His nose was very aristocratic-looking, sort of like a medieval prince of a sort, but not as stupid as they were. He was an intelligent aristocrat, one that had studied everything in Versailles and traveled all throughout Europe's Renaissance. His lips were the right size for his face, and looked so inviting, almost asking me to trace a finger over them lightly. His eyes, those orbs that glowed as a forest did in the light of dawn. He seemed happy, but there was something missing.

I looked at it again and blinked a couple of times, looking away. His letter was on my bed, and as I came back from a good, long shower. I sat on the window-seat and tried to use the diminishing light of the sunset.

_Bella,_

_I think I'm in love with you._

_Edward_

* * *

**A/N: You have no idea how bad I've been wanting to put this letter from Edward in. ^_^. Ahhaahahaaa!**

**Well, thanks for reading, I love you sooo much for putting up with me! haha.**

**Yours forever,  
~R Vorenus~**


	14. Karma Destiny JooJoo Stuff

I couldn't concentrate one minute of the day. My thoughts always came back to Edward. Even though I tried to focus on my classes and participate in the lecture, he just kept slipping back into my mind. I was never like this, on the contrary, I was always trying to pay attention and work to my full potential. But today, I was on cloud nine, and lost sense of things really easily. My train of thought was interrupted every second; all the times I tried to get back on track, I would get distracted again; when the teacher asked questions, I shrugged and looked around, not knowing the answer because I didn't hear the question. I was off, tripping more than usual and eating the floor more often that I've ever have. During lunch, I spilled some Coke on Rose's bag by mistake, and she snapped at me for my carelessness.

"Bella Marie Swan, what is wrong with you? You're so clumsy today! Get your crap together."

I knew she wasn't angry at me because I ruined her bag, but because I was being stupid. I was in la-la-land, and was being distracted, looking at the wrong things and paying attention to the details that were unnecessary. It seemed that I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and in the wrong form. The hours passed between first and third period as I looked out of the window in AP BC Calculus, and stared out the open door into the hallway in AP Macroeconomics. I knew I shouldn't, but I just couldn't help it... I would catch up when I went home, looking up tutorials on Google or YouTube to teach me what I hadn't learned in class.

It was such a strange feeling, this... This... love thing. I'd felt something exponentially smaller some time ago, but it wasn't requited. I never thought I would have someone love me, and I honestly never believed that anyone nearly as amazing as Edward would fall in love with me. I thought I was meant to give love, and not have some back, but this is more that I could ever wish for.

Lunch rolled around, and so did our club meeting. Today was an exciting day, because Jasper, or Mr. Whitlock as I should properly call him in the school setting, had a surprise for us. Our principal, Dr. Carlisle Cohen would be coming in the last half of the lunch period to talk to us about something that wasn't disclosed. It wasn't such a mysterious topic to me, though, because I was nearly sure that I knew what it was. A little more and I would be one-hundred percent convinced about my suspicions. There could be no other reason for which Mr. Whitlock kept smiling at me, and peering over his books and in the halls.

We were meeting out pen-pals.

I didn't know when, but I was almost sure it would be sometime in the near future. There could be no other explanation for the piles of paperwork and forms on Mr. Whitlock's desk and the insane twitch in his eye as he ran in and out of the classroom on Monday.

We held a meeting during lunch, just to recoup everything that we'd been doing, explaining the progress of our projects and the developments in the last months. Ali had made enough money for the purchase of cloth that would be able to make 30 burqas, Rose had 4 schools worth of donations and supplies, and people were more than eager to talk about their pen-pals. I laughed to myself, thinking that they might be happy, but none like me.

We discussed a large fundraising event we would have soon, including a car wash and a garage sale. We announced that we would be selling baked goods and bagels in the mornings in different locations of the school, and needed volunteers to do so. We decided that the projects of Alice and Rosalie needed some life added to them, and so we should do something fun to raise the money necessary. After about half an hour of planning and talking different solutions for the small problems of the club, Dr. Cohen appeared. I was so excited about the news he had, I shut out everything Alice was saying, just nodding dumbly as my eyes followed Dr. Cohen across the room, trying to decipher the words coming out of his mouth. He was whispering something to Mr. Whitlock, and I almost jumped out of my seat to go and talk to him as Jasper pointed Dr. Cohen in my direction.

"Miss Swan? You're the one in charge of this, yes?"

I tried to mask my excitement, and kept my mouth shut in any case that I could open it and let out a giant squeal, which was again uncharacteristic of me. I nodded quickly and waited for him to go on, impatient to know when we were going to meet our buddies across the seas.

"I'm so very sorry to inform you that the meeting won't be possible... We tried to work things out with the pentagon, but..." he shook his head, looking sorry.

I felt my face drop, a crease in my brow and a frown painting it almost instantaneously.

"What?" I said, not believing his words.

"No, I'm just kidding," he said and started laughing. I looked at him seriously and projected the message that I didn't find a hint of humor in what he called a "joke".

His smile started to fade and he coughed, clearing his throat and proceeded.

"No, actually what I was here to tell you was that we can arrange a meeting whenever you'd like, on the days that the military's provided for us."

"And those are...?" I said, back to normal, in my calm voice.

"All the Fridays and Saturdays of February are available."

"I'm sure they have no problem transporting a unit with the 30,000 troops we're sending over there now," I rolled my eyes.

He nodded and looked away oddly.

"I see you have strong feelings about the war... Is that why you decided to do the project?"

I was feeling a little snappy because of his questioning and the topic of the war, so I bit my tongue as I almost snapped at him. I had to remember this man was the one that could fail me and refuse to give me the graduating diploma.

"Yes, Dr. Cohen, it is."

He could sense my annoyance and so finished off.

"When would you like to arrange the meeting then?"

I told him to wait a minute and looked in my bag for my agenda. I flipped through the pages and checked an available date. The second weekend was the school's Valentine's Day dance-which I wasn't going to, but everyone else was-and the last was gram's anniversary of death. I chose the third week, because we were just starting January. It wouldn't be convenient to do it so soon as the first weekend, because it didn't give us enough time to prepare everything and have things set.

"Ummm, the third Friday would be good?"

"That's fine. Thank you." He smiled politely and went back to talking to Mr. Whitlock, then went back to his office.

I couldn't believe I just chose a date for my meeting with Edward. Not only did I point at a random day in the calendar, but I was choosing the course of fate. Or maybe it was choosing me?

Or maybe, better yet, I should stop eating crap and making this karma destiny joo-joo stuff up because of my over-teenage-girlism. I was too emotional lately, and usually I wouldn't like that, but right now, I was actually liking it. It felt good not to be like I was before.

But I was also apprehensive about it. I'd never felt this before, and I've never experienced something of this sort... But I had hope everything would turn out right when the time came.

I think I'm in love with you.

The words kept ringing in my head and I spent all fifth period thinking about what I would do when I met Edward. There were so many things to say, so many ways to spend the day, so many things to do. It was impossible to fit all the things I wanted into the 24 hours that were possible. I planned to write back when I got home, first thing. I felt that even though he wrote me a few words, I owed him an answer.

_Dear Edward,_

_Someone once said, "I believe that two people are connected at heart and it doesn't matter what you do or who you are or where you live. There are no boundaries or barriers if two people are meant to be together." I guess that applies to us? Hahaha, in any case, there won't be many boundaries in a couple of weeks, because I've finally arranged a meeting for the pen-pals. It'll be the third Friday of the February, so start counting down, haha._

_You know, out of all the letters you've sent me, and all the things you've said, your last letter was my favorite. I've always stood by the fact that the things that are said in few words are the ones that are most meaningful. The fact that you didn't send me a lengthy rant about love really did me, finally. Even though I've been liking you for a while now, that was all it took to sweep me up. You're a cheater, though, because you broke the one-page rule. You're going to have to work your way back to my good side again. That'll be tough, let me tell you, but I'm not too sure I can keep a straight face and pretend to be angry with you for long. But just because I like you so much doesn't give you a get-out-of-jail-free card, and you definitely won't pass go and collect $200. But if you get lucky, maybe you can collect a kiss._

_I'm not promising anything, so don't get your hopes up._

_I think it's unfair for me to write so much and have you saying so little, so for the next time I'm giving you a bit of homework. I want you to tell me about something you've never told anyone else. It'll be my turn the next time, so don't think I'm being fresh and taking without giving back. I really want to know more about those things you've never said, and I hope you'll want to tell me about them, and trust me to keep them._

_I hope you're doing good and all is well at the base._

_Love,  
Bella_

* * *

**A/N: Here's another chapter, and more revelations of looove. God, I've turned into a mushieness machine! Hahaha, as always, thank you for reading!**

**The quote is courtesy of **_Jime2594_** who sent it to me in a review chapters back. Thanks for the inspiration!**

**I also want to thank **_vampireaddict08_** and **_IsabellasMommy_**, who write me the sweetest reviews ever, along with **_ElissaB_**. You dearies make my day with your support!**

**Love you as always,  
~R Vorenus~**


	15. I Hope You Keep Shining

I sat down after a quick shower and picked up the pen and paper I had left on my bed. I was exhausted after going on patrol duty tonight. Things were getting more intense and I had to be more careful every day. I wanted to make it to February without a single scratch, so i had to watch my back twice as much. Today we had been in the desert sun the entire day, busting into the houses of known al-Quaida members and Taliban leaders.

It wasn't easy to tear men away from their wives and children, but I reminded myself of who they were. We took them all on a surprise raid and captured about a dozen men, half of which were notorious members of the terrorist organization, and another half that were ratted out by other members when in the torture chambers.

I slouched in my chair and closed my eyes, grabbing onto the box with Bella's letters. I opened it and took her last letter, which had a delicious smell to it. It was a sweet scent, nice and soft as I imagined my Bella would be. _My_ Bella. _My_ _Bella_? I hadn't even met her yet and I was already calling her mine. But, it wasn't a crime, right? I was allowed to love a woman who loved me back, and loved the world nearly as much.

I sniffed the paper lightly, taking in the aroma of Bella's perfume mixed with the ink of the calligraphy pen and the faux-parchment. I kept my eyes closed and pictured her in my head. It made my heart swell whenever I thought about our meeting in a month more or less.

But before I could see her, I had to write back. I gathered all the strength that was left in me and stripped my soul onto the page of notebook paper.

_Dear Bella,_

_You're not fair, at all. Do you have any idea how long it took for me to admit to myself that I loved you? And then to tell you it took an even larger amount of courage. I think doing patrol duties is nothing compared to what I had to face writing down those words for you to read. You better behave yourself, missy, and have some consideration for me. Hahaha, no, I know you mean it all in a good joking way._

_Now, your last request was really hard for me to do, because I have so many secrets to choose from. I'm only telling you two of those now, because if I were to say more, I wouldn't have enough paper and you wouldn't have enough time to read it all. I hope you'll get to see a little more of who i am through this, and I hope you don't change your mind and take back your feelings for me._

_Well, the first one's the most difficult one to admit, because it's the one that hits home the hardest. As you know, I've talked a bit about my brother, here and there in the letters I've sent you, and somehow everything ends up being a reference. It's hard not to keep mentioning someone after the many years you've spent with them and the strong love you have for them. My brother and I were the dynamic duo, everyone knew us as 'The Twins'. We would do everything together and go everywhere together, and then he ended it all abruptly by handing himself over to death with open arms._

_My brother and I were closer than skin and nail. We were born with a minute apart (I was the older one, but never played that card on him). Our mother told us that when we were babies, we would refuse to sleep in individual cribs. Sometimes, I would find a way to crawl out of mine and into his, and he would cry all night if she didn't put him in my crib. We would hug each other tightly as he sucked his thumb and I held onto Mr. Flufferbuffer (don't laugh, OK? I had a teddy bear as a kid, but that's completely normal...) and sleep the entire night in peace, together. As we got older, we were in the same classes from kindergarten to fourth grade, and then in fifth grade we requested a schedule change so that we could stay together. We would have the same toy cars, the same Bob the Builder hammer and chisel set, and share every single thing that fell into our hands._

_As we got older, in middle school, we joined the baseball team and got reversed numbers on our jerseys. He was 21 and I was 12. We went to states our last year, and traveled to Minnesota for the playoffs. That was one helluva trip I don't think I'll ever forget. One time, at dinner, we decided to have a little fun and play tricks on people around the buffet we ate at. It was hilarious, we went around talking to random people and they thought they were going crazy when we would say we didn't just talk to them and they told us we lied and went to the bathroom to change clothes. We had a really good time, having some safe, innocent fun. We also played that game in the hotel where we'd knock on the doors of other team members and run away quickly. It was juvenile immaturity, but damn, I can look back and say with honesty that those were the good old days._

_High school was different, because we weren't in all the classes like we were before. Anthony decided to play football for the team, and started associating himself with the other jocks and dated every single cheerleader in the school. I was the loser when we hung out together in the mall and went out, because no one knew me and I was the outcast. I didn't like the scene he was in, and it was OK for him to be different from me now that we were older, because I understood that we grew out of being one person into two. I was in the Debate Team, and in Model United Nations, and hung out with the people that took all AP classes and did that Dual-Enrollment thing. I was the best friend of the Valedictorian of our graduating class, and I didn't come in too far after her. Everyone wanted me to get with her, but it was like having a sister, you know? Besides, I've always been one to believe that I rather not have an endless list of failed relationships, and would wait for the right gal to come along. I don't know how, but some way I knew that all the girls batting their eyelashes at me and winking weren't the ones. And then you came along, and well, you know the rest. But that's not the issue, so I'll try to get back on track. It's all your fault, for making me so distracted all the time. Grrr, hahaha._

_Anyhow, the gap between Anthony and I was quickly widening and didn't take too long to become an abyss with no bridge. We grew apart more and more with each passing day, and the guy I'd told everything to under the covers with a flashlight wouldn't even look at me as he passed me in the halls. It annoyed him when people mentioned his twin, and he got irritated when we had state examinations and he had to sit in front of me. Soon enough, my breathing was a problem and everything I did made him tick. The night he died, one of the ones I can remember most clearly, was the worst we had._

_He came home late from school, saying he was doing some project with a girl in Physics class, when I knew clearly he was smoking pot in the parking lot for the students with his asshole friends. I didn't say anything because I knew mom would just worry sick and freak out, and then just cry when we weren't home. She saw her son slipping away from her fingers too quickly for her to grasp and save. He was on a downward spiral, and everyone knew it, but decided not to acknowledge it. I was the only one who would speak out to him about it, even if I was just getting bitched back at. He went up to his room and dad just ignored him when he walked in, looking more busted than he had ever been. I knew they were hitting it hard back there, but I couldn't go and break up the party and cause a scene. He could have gotten arrested, but maybe it would have saved his life._

_He was getting ready to go out that night when I broke down his door. I remember yelling at him at the top of my lungs, feeling the blood rushing to my face and fists as the anger circulated my body with every beat my heart thudded. I threw the crystal meth at his face in its plastic Ziploc bag and pushed him, so hard he stumbled back and hit the wall. I remember fisting his shirt, shaking him with all the strength I had, which wasn't much since I'd never done any exercise through my high school years, but when I was angry and full of adrenaline, I felt invincible. I scolded him for hiding that in my room, and took back the bag I had thrown, which he was holding greedily. I ripped it out of his hands, surely with a crazed look, and ran out of the room. He followed me and tried to stop me as I flushed the powdery yellow-white substance down the toilet. He threw a punch at me and caught my ear, probably busting some blood vessels since it was red for a week. I ducked and punched him in the stomach, but missed in the attempt. Mom came in screaming and pulled us apart as Anthony was charging at me as if to kill me. I remember mom telling us that it was no way for brothers to act. Then, he said, "He's not my brother."_

_At 4:37 am I got a call from the police saying they had some really unfortunate news. I was confused because I didn't know what it could be, until they told me that they had found my brother's car crashed halfway into the lake with the large tree beside it. Him and his girlfriend were trapped inside and drowned in the drunken state. It was worse to tell my parents than it was to hear the words told to me. Of course, we were completely distraught, and the family was broken up. We arranged the funeral and burial after they took the body out from the depths of the lake._

_I couldn't even look at his face in the casket. I felt like I was looking at myself, a part of me had died away with him. I thought that our bond had broken with all the things that had happened, but I realized instantaneously that it was even more painful for him to have died in such bad terms with me. Maybe if I would have stopped him before we started growing apart, we would still be together today. I cried when I got home. I never cried. I was a composed man, or boy, however you want to call what i was, but I felt like all the blood in my body was being drained slowly and painfully, and replaced with acid. My heart didn't beat any longer with life, just with loathing and hate for myself and the world for what it taken from me. There were pictures of us together all over the grave the day after we buried him, and it undid me inside. I saw us at Christmas, when we went to our first trip to Disney, and when we dressed up as Batman for Halloween. There was one picture of us missing our two front teeth, almost like a mirrored image, because we looked exactly alike with our red sweaters and chrome hair parted to one side. I wanted to know where those times went, and why my brother went with them._

_I refused to eat for three weeks, but my mom force-fed me by the last one. I wasn't sleeping, and i didn't want to do anything in class. I didn't pay attention and I didn't answer questions. I left all the clubs I joined and ditched my friends, going around alone everywhere. I was alone. Not because I wanted to be, but because life had taken away from me the greatest part of my soul. I skipped classes almost every day, and went to the cemetery, just sitting in front of his grave, remembering our life together._

_But even though this was the worse experience in my life, it made me realize the lessons that other less-important and less-rough ones have taught me. Life is. It's not unfair nor is it good or bad. It just is, and regardless of the things that happen to us, it moves on. Life is always in motion, and people die every day. Some by natural causes, some by murder, some by bombs, and others by things they brought on themselves. But it was their time. They died, and life pays no respects to them, but to wait for the next person to fall in death's bony arms. We all have Democle's sword swinging above our heads, and when the thread is snapped by the weavers of the threads of destiny, it's over. There's things we must accept and move on, and that's what I've done._

_The secret in this all is, I still feel like crying when I think about his death._

_But the other secret, one on a much happier note, is one that may not be so secret, because I think I've done a horrible job keeping it to myself. I'm extremely excited about seeing you, and I'm looking forward to it more than anything. I actually am counting down, since it's the only highlight in this vey dark tunnel. You're the light Bella, and I hope you keep shining for me._

_Love and big hugs,  
Edward_

I brushed the tears away from my cheeks and bit my lip, swallowing down the sadness Edward brought out in me. I knew really well what it was like for a person near and dear to me to die, and for me to be left with a chunk of empty space inside. I felt for him, and for me, and for everyone who had ever lost someone that they held in their heart. I hurt even harder for the women and men who would never see their sons, daughters, wives, husbands, brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers, because the grim reaper snatched them in combat thousands of miles away.

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**A/N: I know, ::wipes tears away with fingers::, this was a sad Eddie, but I had to. If not, people won't know just how intense he really is. Thanks for reading and loving me! Your feedback is amazing, and your support overwhelming! Thanks to the oldies that have been with the fic since the start, and for the new people reading and liking it, too! You guys make my day!**

**I adore you!  
~R Vorenus~**


	16. Not As If It Was Our Last

_Dear Edward,_

_You know, I never would have thought you the debate type, all the buffness and badass appeal don't point to it. But I kind of like knowing that you're a geek, too. You have no idea how your recounting of your life with your brother impacted me, having reminded me of the death of grams and how much exactly I miss her every day. That reminded me of how much I miss certain people that i can't see, or talk to, or hug, or... That then reminded me of the meeting we have a couple of weeks from now, which I can't wait for, hahaha._

_The school is setting aside a Friday for all of us to meet our pen-pals, but they are only providing for 4 hours of official time, and we have the rest of the day to ourselves, to do what we'd like. They told me that you'd be responsible to find the unit at a specific place and time, so that you can meet and go on the Greyhound bus to the hotel. You're flying back to the base on Sunday morning, so you'll ave Saturday to spend with your family or stay resting. I don't know if they've specified anything for you guys yet, but you'll have a meeting with the principal of our school when you get here to sort things out._

_Of course, none of you have civilian clothes with you, so you'll be suited up most of the time, and on Friday. If you want, I can ask my friend Jake to borrow some clothes so that you can feel more comfortable. You two seem to be the same size, so I hope the clothes fit you well. But, I like a man in uniform, so I'll be enjoying the view all Friday. I'm looking forward to seeing you all formal when you arrive. Oh, well, that was supposed to be a surprise, but since I've already spoiled it, I think you should know that Rose, Alice, Jasper and I will come to the airport to greet you guys and welcome you home. You guys won't be together for too long, because you'll be spending most of the days with us, so you'll be able to relax a little and not have the stress of freaking out during the different rounds of sleeping. You never told me where you're from, or if you're a native to the DC area, but if you're not and you find yourself wanting a tour guide, lunch date, or whatever else, I know some really nice places around that I'm sure you'd enjoy._

_I hope we have a good time, but most of all, I hope we treat every moment together not as if it was our last, but as if it would never end._

_On less exciting news, I saw my mom last week. She's back from the countryside and the hicks and I got the great news that I have a baby sister on the way. In 7 months more or less, I'll see seeing little feet and hands and a tiny nose. I'll also be hearing wailing in the middle of the night and change diapers as quickly as I read novels. remember how I told you I live alone? Well, maybe that will be subject to change with this new addition, and I'll probably become a mother at the young age of 18. With all Renee's insanity and her lack of understanding of the word "responsibility", the only thing I won't be doing is breast feeding, but in all other aspects, I will be my sister's mom, much like grams was my mom._

_I'm not too worried, though, because I'm sure I'll be a great mother, having learned from the failures of Charlie and Renee with me as a child. I hope that you don't mind being with a single mother, hahaha. I bet you won't mind at all, actually, because I know you're understanding and caring, and you have a super open mind. The only thing I don't like about all this is that my sister-daughter will grow up without a father. It's not like it really matters, but maybe things would be different for her than they were for me. Renee came back knocked up by God know who, remembering nothing because of the long list of guys that could be the potential fathers of the child. I know Charli won't approve of it, because he's moved on, but he still watches over Renee. Besides, what's my sister to him? He has no reason to care about her, and he has quite a lot on his hands now with his children. So, it looks like it's just me and the baby for some time. I'll have to go off to college and Renee take care of the baby during the day, but I'll work out my schedule to fit the needs of the new baby. God, I sound like a pregnant teenager. The saddest part is that I'm nearly that, since Renee is so careless and ridiculously inept at nearly everything in life._

_By the way, I heard my friend Rose was writing to an Emmett person who you've mentioned before? Well, I wan you to please tell him from me (that may not be very scary) that if he screws with her feelings, I will kick his ass. Rose is completely ga-ga over him, and I don't know where he stands on the issue, or even if he likes her back at least a little. Rose may be superficial sometimes, but she's a really sweet gal. It would break my heart if she was hurt by someone. I can't judge Emmett's character, but I can ask you to warn him._

_I really enjoyed you telling me your secrets, and I'd tell you mine, but I really don't want to scare you away or incite things I shouldn't._

_Love you,  
Bella_

I smiled, shaking my head. Oh, Bella. She was so adorable, watching out for her best friends like that. I was surely going to threaten Em, but it wasn't only going to be from Bella, t would be from me, too. I wouldn't want anything to hurt my Bella-I mean, Bella, and it would break me to see her broken.

I wanted to write back to her this instant, but I had to store away what I had, because we were going to combat training again. After that, we would go to the border of th mountains and check to see if there was anyone hiding out there, so we could take them in and question them extensively, a.k.a. torture information out of them. I was always opposed to this, thinking it was useless and inhumane to use such methods. Personally, if I was imprisoned and tortured, I would tell false information, because they are going to kill me anyway, so i might as well lead them in the wrong direction.

I sighed as I got up with my gun and stored Bella's heart in the metal box, tucking under my bed almost reverently. This was all I had of her, and was looking forward to the gift exchange that would occur with our pen-pals. I knew what i was going to give her already. It really wasn't great, but I knew she would appreciate it like no one else would.

I walked out into the scorching heat and covered my eyes with goggles, the sun piercing through my clothes into my skin and burning it painfully. I jogged to the area we had established for training and started the process.

Today was a long day, but there were only 24 days until I got to see the sweet little woman I was so anxious to meet. Anxious to hug. To kiss.

Two weeks and a little black dress later...

I hate dances.

Not only because I don't have anyone to go with, but because I'm utterly bored sitting in the corner drinking spiked punch and eating any quiche that comes my way. The waiter tried to flirt with me, but I was so unenthusiastic I think he got scared and just left me alone.

I used to love these things, social gatherings, where i would talk to everyone and dance the night away; but I had no one today. I didn't want to be here in the least, but Alice dragged me. Jazz got us tickets and took us shopping for dresses. I decided I didn't want to spend money pointlessly on an extravagant dress, so I wore a simple formal black one i used sometimes for debate competitions. I threw on the highest pair of comfortable heels to try to scare people away with my height, but I was still pea-sized compared to the other girls around, especially Rose. She was huge. She was normally 5'7", but with her 5-inch heels, who knew anymore where she was? All I knew was that she was way up there and I was way down here.

And now I was all the way in the dark corner alone, sitting down lazily and gulping all the cherry Jack Daniel's mix like it was water.

I hate Valentine's Day.

I think it's the most pointless crap ever made, and that the US takes advantage of the dumb girls who flip out about it and commercializes love. Thousands of men around the country go out to buy flowers and chocolates for their significant others, and those who have none buy for themselves.

I felt like crap.

I looked around and saw Rose with some random redhead guy who didn't seem to be from our school. Typical Rose, I shook my head and laughed, putting down my drink to return her excited wave. I saw Al and Jazz somewhere on the other side, talking formally, but their eyes betrayed the formality of a simple teacher-student relationship. They maintained their space, but their eyes were alight, mentally removing the emptiness between them. Alice was laughing and did a motion to lean in and kiss him, but caught herself and pretended to trip to play it off.

I looked at the other couples and sighed. I hated this kind of thing, but I longed for Edward to be with me right now. I would ditch this scene and go by the lake, just sitting in the cold benches of the park and talk. I would hold him, his warmth making my coldness disappear. I would kiss him, and he would kiss me.

But most importantly, we would be together.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the belated chapter, had tons of work to do i had procrastinated to write the previous chapters. I love you guys for being amazing and supporting me through and through, and I welcome the readers who just began the journey with Ed and Bells.**

**I hope you liked the chappie... It's changing from premature teenage love to more serious adult-like romance.**

**Yay ^_^**

**I adore you,  
~R Vorenus~**


	17. Keep Me In Yours, Too PART I

**PART I**

Thursday night was crazy. I was so busy running around preparing the last-minute details, I went to bed at 3, and I fell asleep at 5. I had to get up at 7 for school, because it usually took me 30 minutes to get there, and the teacher of my first class didn't really care at what time we got there, as long as it was before 8. I knew I should have stopped freaking out about things not being done and possible problems coming up and ruin everything for the troops. I wanted things to be absolutely perfect, and so I was being anal-retentive about every single thing.

Alice told me to calm the hell down today, because I snapped at her twice, and kept dropping things everywhere. i even got mad at Rose because she said something along the lines of, "It doesn't really need to be perfect." I yelled at her because it was important. Everything I organized meticulously had a reason for it. I wanted this just right for them, because they needed to know how grateful we were for the things they are doing. Freedom isn't free, as some say, and I want only the best for those that are out there fighting for it.

Friday morning I was a mess. I jumped out of bed manically, rushing to the bathroom a couple of minutes before the alarm clock sounded and started playing the radio.

_And today on local news, the weather will be a nice and warm 38 degrees, with clouds and 83% chance of snow. It will be windy out, so remember to pack a coat wherever you go._

The female voice filled my room and filtered in through the bathroom door which I left open so that it could be easier for me to rush out and get dressed. That was the hardest part of the morning, getting dressed. I didn't want to meet Edward in rags, and I refused to dress up too much, not wanting to try to impress him by working too hard. But still, I wanted to look my best; I should at least be mildly attractive to receive him.

._.. school, Abraham Lincoln Senior High, connects the teenage students to a military unit that is currently flying over here from Afghanistan, in the epicenter of the war. These young individuals will get a chance to converse with the Marines and ask all types of questions. And in the sports..._

I listened in as I rummaged through my closet and smiled, knowing it was only going to be a couple of hours before I got to see Edward, and the other hundred men we had been writing to.

I put on some nice black pants, a midnight blue night shirt I sometimes wore to parties with nice and shiny sequins in the front. I put on my fancy black scarf and threw on my stiletto boots and leather jacket to put the outfit nicely together. I rushed to my mirror, looking at the clock and listening in to the radio as I molded my wavy hair into soft curls, wanting it to look not as if I just woke up and threw clothes on. I put on some really light make-up, just eye-liner and mascara and some lip gloss.

I looked at myself quickly in the mirror and dashed out the door as news from the Darfur genocide announced it was 7:20. I hit the pedal and swerved into the last parking spot and ran into Mr. Whitlock's classroom.

"Hey," I breathed out, trying to control my breathing and not interrupt the quiet class with my gasps and puffs of air.

He smiled down at me with Alice on his desk, and Rose lounging around the shelves full of books that were along the far wall of the class. She stared up from a political science book and waved enthusiastically, putting it back and running over to me, hugging me.

"Oh my Gooood! I'm soooo excited!" she jumped up and down next to me. I smiled and nodded, not really able to say anything because I was still out of breath.

Everyone in the class stared at us and Mr. Whitlock separated them into other classes, because our school had no subs to spare, and since his Honors class was an elective, it didn't really matter to administration much. As they filed out, Jazz gathered his things quickly and looked over at the door, giving Ali a quick peck on the lips and getting the keys for his classroom. We were ready to depart, and according to my watch, the men would be here in an hour, so we were right on time.

We got to the airport and sat to wait in the empty room. I thought there would be a couple dozen people, but apparently none of the Marines had told their families about it, or they weren't from here, or they weren't allowed, I didn't know. The clock ticked by an hour a minute, and I was ready to call the pilot and ask what was taking so long. It was a little over 8:00 am and I was really anxious, until the doors opened up. We all rushed and made a line to shake hands with those coming out of the passage that was connected to the plane and my heart was doing some strange beating things I had never before experienced.

The head general came first, with the sergeants filing in after him. He was an older man, had a firm handshake and a nervous smile.

"Welcome," I smiled warmly at him. He looked me in the eyes and nodded, a strange twinkle in his eyes.

"Welcome," I said to the next man and shook his hand, smiling again and he grinned back at me, taking my hand in both of his.

I greeted about 30 or 45 more when a huge guy came by stopped at Rose. Oh, I knew who this was. I probably could have guessed without seeing the little show they put up. He looked at her up and down, then stared straight into her face and gave her a huge smile, saying, "Baby!" and sweeping her up in a huge bear hug, walking her a couple of steps back.

"Oh, it looks like we lost one!" Jasper said calling out behind Alice, who was the second one in line. I was the last, so the empty space Rose had been tackled out of was even more noticeable. They hugged and kissed and heavily displayed their affection until Emmett's general shouted out, "Brawn, get the Hell over here, you hormonal teenager!" He looked back at Rose after being called to attention and let her go, pouting and slouched over.

I was so busy looking at the scene I didn't notice the next couple of hand shakes. I think everyone was in the same boat, except for the tall man standing over me. I had my hand stretched out, but I was looking over at Emmett being scolded by the officers and was preoccupied with the scene before us, until I a velvety amazingness spoke my name.

"Bella?" an uncertain voice called.

I focused my attention to where the voice came from, a little out of it because I was still laughing from the incident, and stopped, still smiling, and my eyes met the most intense emerald orbs in the world. They stared back at me and a ghost of a smile appeared on his perfect lips.

"Edward?" I nearly whispered.

The smile formed and turned into a grin, his strong features making it the most gorgeous expression that could never be captured in words. I tried to say something but all that came out was a breath and a smile painted itself on my face instantly.

"Bella!" he said as he came forward and wrapped his arms around my waist, bending down and taking me close to his warm, uniformed body. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he lifted me off the floor, hugging me tightly, tighter than I've ever felt anyone take me in their arms. He spun me around and somewhere in the background, I heard Jasper say, "Oops, there goes another one!"

I disregarded that and relished in the moment I was in. His large arms around my small frame, lifting me off the floor about a foot and a half. My delicate white arms around his tanned neck, my face buried in the crook between his arm and neck, resting right under his strong jaw. His beautiful face rested on my neck and was buried in my long hair.

"Cullen!" the same harsh voice that called out Emmett's name yelled from the other side. Edward stayed how we were and refused to let go, pretending he hadn't heard anything.

"Cullen, get over here!" he snapped a second time. Still, Edward wouldn't budge.

"Aww, come on! He's not doing anything wrong!" I heard Emmett say.

Apparently that worked because we were left alone. Edward put me down and we disentangled ourselves from each other's bodies. My hands were still on around his neck and his were still in place around my waist. We stood, looking at each other as if it was a hologram, or a lie, or just a simple dream that was so unreal, we would never be fooled into thinking it was a reality. His eyes searched through my soul, looking into every part of, and I searched his mind. i smiled again and looked away, after having looked at a new face for too long. My eyes couldn't get used to the perfection, and I couldn't be assured that I was living this moment.

He removed a hand from my waist and brought it up to my face, his palm resting on my warm cheek that was surely pink now. His thumb caressed over it and brought my face back to him.

"So, this is it..." he smiled, "We're here..." he whispered, his eyes never leaving mine for an instant.

"So we are..." I said in small voice, almost in awe of his presence.

"Um, Hi," I heard Ali say from the side. I looked her way, but he didn't seem to notice there was someone else.

"Umm, I really don't wan to break this up, but, your friend's going to miss the bus if he doesn't go now..." she said, actually sounding sorry.

I looked at her, embarrassed and probably blushing even more from the heat I could feel in my face. That damn blush, it was never around, but apparently he brought it out. I looked back at him and chuckled a little, and he laughed.

"Yeah, we don't want that to happen, haha," he said and let me go reluctantly. We walked out into the cold air and light snow, stealing glimpses at each other. everyone inside the bus looked a little pissy and there were hollers from inside to hurry up and sit inside already. He gave me one last look and a small smile, and walked into the bus, where I saw Emmett from a window punching him in the arm and saying something with a smirk. I decided I didn't want to know what it was Emmett had to say, and so walked with Alice to Rose's Mercedes, which we all came in.

"He's cute, I approve," Ali said from the backseat, snuggled in with Jazz.

"Looks like a nice guy," he commented.

Rose was in her own world, so I don't think she even knew we were having a conversation. She ran a couple of red lights and was over the speed limit by 20 miles, trying to get to school as soon as possible so she could find a dark corner to go into with this huge guy.

I brought down the mirror and glared at the two in the back, saying, "Please don't, OK? Don't start..."

"But, Bellaaaaa! This is great! You finally have someone! Aw, it's like that Akon song... 'Lonely I'm mister lonely, I have nobody to call my own' but now you do!"

"Alice?"

"Yeah?" She said bouncing up.

"Shut the f-GOOD GOD, ROSE!"

I saw my short life flash before my eyes and predicted that I would go flying out of the windshield as Rose slammed the breaks as they could go, changing from 65 miles to 0 in half a second.

"We're heere!" she sang and turned off the car, jumping out and heading toward the auditorium we had rented for the meeting. We got out of the car at a slower pace and as I walked with Alice and Jasper, now apart and in a formal stance, I asked, "Am I as bad as her?"

"Na, but you will be given a couple more hours..." Alice said and burst into laughter. I elbowed her in the ribs and walked on, entering the heated place with hundreds of people sitting on the left side of the large auditorium. They were all people I knew, some that I had classes with, and others I simply waved to in the hallway. All the familiar faces were waiting for the men to get to the room and fill up the same amount of seats that they were filling, plus two because Rose and I would be on the stage. She and Al as well as Mr. Whitlock would be sitting in the three chairs next to the podium, as representatives of our club. I would be directing the entire thing, so I was to give a brief speech and then group everyone together.

I stood behind the podium, waving at people that were sitting and talking to others that came by the stage to say a few words. The Marines started filing in one by one in the most perfect line anyone could create. They practically marched in, all their correctness and discipline evident by the way they walked. The students started cheering and clapping and yelling things out like "Long live the Marine Corps!" and "Support the troops!" Some men looked over and all of them smiled, some even waved at the crowd.

When everyone was settled down and almost quiet, I walked back from my social time with Al and Jazz onto the podium. Someone in the far end whistled, and I was sure it wasn't from the school's side, because I wasnt exactly considered attractive. The could have been mocking me, though, but as I looked to where the sound came from, I saw a huge tan guy with black hair and an equally tan man but less large punching him.

I laughed and composed myself, clearing my throat a little to begin.

"We sure are enthusiastic today, aren't we," I said in a joking tone and people laughed, not because I was funny, but because everyone was extremely excited about it, and knew it was true. I chuckled a little too, and looked down at the outline I had made for the speech.

I went on and talked for 10 minutes, looking around at everyone and casually focusing on Edward and Emmett who were sitting on the side. I couldn't look too many times, though, because Emmett's thumbs ups would make me laugh and I had to bit it back.

I finished and called the men one by one up and the name of every person who they were paired up with. Most came up excitedly and hugged their buddies, except for the guys that were paired up with guys, who shook hands and patted each other on the back, walking to the room next door, where tables were set up so that everyone would be more comfortable and would have space to go where they liked with their buddies. I called them by alphabetical order and soon the room was vacant except for some officers, Jazz, Al, and I. And the chrome-haired man staring straight at me as I walked down the middle aisle of the auditorium to meet him halfway.

He smiled and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to his side. he looked down and grinned a gorgeously dumb-looking grin. I'm sure I looked just as stupid, looking at him like he was a gift from above that might disappear any second now. We walked into the room in a sort of silent companionship, staring and smiling and looking away and other combination of those three things. It felt almost as if it wasn't me who was at his side, so close to him, being held by him.

We found the most secluded corner, trying to find the quietest place where we could have a peaceful conversation without hearing everyone else's. We sat in the farthest corner of the room, where a couch was next to a fake-looking plant.

He sat down in the corner, resting his back on the arm of it, and brought me down with him, sitting me right in front of him. I sat back into the comfortable cushions and angled myself so I could better see him. We were sitting very close, but he felt too far away.

He looked at me and smiled, and I just couldn't help asking, "What?"

"I don't know, it's just so weird... I never thought I would live to see something this pretty in such a close proximity," he chuckled.

I laughed with him and playfully slapped his arm.

"Oh shut up, don't waste our time flattering me... How childish of you," I pretended to scold, shaking my head and narrowing my eyes.

He laughed and said, "You're even cuter in real life when you do that!"

I joined him in laughter and rolled my eyes.

"So, how was your flight?"

"Oh, I had the best sleep I've had in a long time." He closed his eyes for a second, seeming to remember and opened them again. "I slept soundly through the whole thing. I had trouble sleeping on base, though, because I couldn't wait to get on the plane. I was nervous that something might happen at the last moment and they'd cancel it. I wasn't relieved until we landed, and I saw you."

I felt the heat spread over my cheeks again and up my neck and laughed.

"Yeah, we were running around last night for hours, fixing things up here and there so they could be perfect for you guys."

He chuckled at this and moved closer, sitting right next to me, and I leaned in to his side.

"You're adorable, you know that? But you're completely ridiculous at the same time," he shook his head.

"What?" I asked in fake disbelief and looked up at him, my chin on his shoulder.

"You tried so hard, but you didn't have to. Just being here made us happy, you didn't have to over-work yourself the way you did. Having you smile and shake our hands just made our day."

"Nonsense," I countered, noticing how his face was so close to mine, but not wanting to breach any comfort zones.

"No, really, you'd be surprised at how little it takes us to feel happy; we appreciate every single little thing you do for us." His face got closer and I couldn't help but stare at his lips for an instant. I knew his eyes were focused on mine, but I didn't care that he would notice.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that, because I'm not that big of a deal, so you'll have to be content with the little you have," I said in a flirtier tone.

He smiled and looked down, then connected his eyes with mine again.

"I don't believe that."

His pair of emeralds glittered and I knew somehow he was telling the truth. This made me feel some strange thing in my chest, a sort of warmth, or whatever you'd like to call it. It was a twinge that I rather enjoyed.

I looked away, smiling and rested my head against his shoulder, my face not in view.

"So, how are things... over there?" I said with a bit of a disgruntled tone. His hand came to my face and turned it toward him, resting my chin on his shoulder again. He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and ran his thumb over my cheek, then rested his hand on my neck.

"You hate it, don't you?"

I tried not to start ranting about the topic, so I simply nodded.

"Yes, I do. A lot."

"I can tell by the way you talk about it when you mention it. You want to know a secret?"

I looked at him, a little confused, but wanting to know what he had to say.

"What?"

He leaned his face down, his cheek resting on mine for a second, and he whispered in my ear, "I hate it to."

He looked at me again and blinked a couple of times, waiting for an answer from me, but none came. I was hit with something I wasn't expecting, so I just waited for him to explain.

He sighed and shuffled around, getting comfortable, his arm shifting a little, his hand hovering over mine and turning it, lacing his fingers through mine and putting it on his lap, where his other hand covered mine and he started rubbing it, and talked as he looked at it.

"I can't stand it over there anymore... I wanted to make a difference, fight for freedom, but there is nothing to do over there anymore... We're fighting a war for revenge and resources, not in the honor of those men and women who died in the Twin Towers. We're an angry country looking for a way out of the bitterness we've fostered, and now young and old people, women and men alike are giving their lives away for the purpose of the anger the country feels. It's not about finding al-Qaida and destroying terror, or about ensuring the world is okay. It's about flexing our badass muscles and telling everyone to watch out and not mess with us because we're so great and powerful

"I'm tired of fighting a pointless war, Bella," he said, boring his eyes into mine, "And i wish i would have known that it was this way, so that I would have never done what I did. But all my choices, good or bad, led me to you, so I don't regret a single one of them."

The intensity of his stare was burning me with sorrow, and I felt a deep pain inside. I wanted to spend the day with him, as long as we had, to be together. I wanted him to feel like a freed man, not like one who has a duty that can't be broken and is bound for life, and until death to do whatever it is he must.

"Edward," I said in a soft voice, and he looked at me with a gentler expression.

"I'm sorry." I said simply, bringing my other hand to clasp his, and took he liberty to place it on his jaw, his eyes closing at the feel of my soft touch, and leaning in. He nodded, understanding what it was that I meant, and when he opened his eyes, he whispered, barely audibly, "I am too."

After our sad little moment, we kind of redirected the conversation to what I did, and how I'd been, and he asked me about Renee and my soon to be pseudo-daughter. He asked about Charlie and my brothers, and about Rosalie and Alice and Jasper. We talked some more about our favorite books and movies, the classics, and the best music of all time. Soon, the time was wearing thin and Al approached me and told me to announce the gift exchange and the end of the official time of the meeting. The troops would have the rest of the day to do what they wished, either to hang around with their partners, or to have a tour of DC and later dinner with everyone.

She handed me a microphone and got everyone to settle down. I tried not to sound sad when I was talking about the end of our time together, but there was a hint of it as I spoke. I looked at Edward frequently whenever I mentioned departure, and ended the meeting. Many of the men and women in uniform got together and congregated around the officers, who would taken them back on the bus. I walked back to Edward and smiled lightly.

"So, I guess this is the end of our day," I said, trying not to sniffle.

"You really want to get rid of me that quickly?" he asked with a smirk.

"I thought you said you love me..." he pouted.

I rolled my eyes playfully and laughed, feeling relief wash over me like peace. I wrapped my arms around his back and gave him a warm hug, which he returned by wrapping his arms around my shoulders and pressing me into him.

"I was planning on spending the entire day with you, but, if you have other plans..." he shrugged.

I scoffed jokingly and looked at him in disbelief.

"Even if I had other plans, you wouldn't let me carry them out, would you?"

"No, probably not," he laughed.

I chuckled into his chest and breathed a deep breath in. He smelled amazing, the best cologne in the world couldn't be as sexy-smelling as his was.

"Oh, I have something for you," he said, removing one arm from around me and taking something out of his pocket into his large hands.

"Um, it's not really much, but I wanted to give you something that would always remind you of me..." he sighed and continued, letting me go so that he could show me what it was.

"Open you hand..." and I did.

I felt a cold metallic thing drop onto my hand and my reflex was to catch it and wrap my fingers around it. He still held one end and let it drop, closing my hand with his, and putting it to his heart.

"This is where I keep you, so I hope you can keep me in yours, too."

I looked up at him, in awe that he could be so romantic and not overdo it at all, or seem like he was trying.

"You know I will," was the only thing I could think of.

He smiled and let my hand go so that I could open it and see what he had dropped. I was a little stunned when the silver glittered in the light.

"I had it made for you. Mine's bigger and rougher, but I figured if you'd want to wear it, you shouldn't have to look like you have three tons hanging around your neck," he chuckled.

I brought the tag closer to my face, reading what was on it.

NAME: CULLEN EDWARD,A.  
SSN: 785-21-4562  
BLOOD TYPE: O  
RELIGION: SPIRITUAL

I turned it on the back and in script it read

_And if thou wilt, remember;  
And if thou wilt, forget._

"Keats?" I asked, surprised.

"It's one of my favorite poems of all time."

I smiled and ran my finger over the information on the other side.

"I was hoping you liked it... Cause I know you're not ostentatious or anything, and I know you like to keep it simple... So I figured something heartfelt would be the best thing to-"

"You know, it's really cute when you ramble when you're nervous," I said, smiling.

"Can you, please?" I asked, opening it and motioning to my neck.

"Do you have to ask?" He grinned and took the chain in his hands, hooking it on the back of my neck as I held my hair to the side.

I smiled and put it inside my shirt, tucking it away deep in my soul.

"I got something for you too, but I don't think it compares in the least to this," I admitted.

"You're here," he said wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer, his forehead resting on mine. "That's all I ask for."

I searched in my coat pocket for the envelope I had stuck there. I was almost a little reluctant to hand him what I'd gotten, but I wasn't ashamed of it, just felt it wasn't enough.

He took it eagerly from me, giving me a reassuring look, and unfolded what was inside. He looked at the paper for what had seemed to be an eternity, then looked back at me, his eyes a very dark and liquid shade of green.

"Bella, this is..." he tried to say something but just stopped talking.

"It's... amazing, love... It's perfect.."

I warmed up at his words and once again noticed they were genuine.

"It's all I could think of..."

He smiled and took me into his arms again, squeezing me against him tightly.

"Well, I love how you think," he said, looking at the picture I had painted for him. It was him, standing in front of the American flag and the Capitol building, the White House somewhere in the distance and the Washington Monument off in another corner. He was standing in the typical attire Marines wear and was saluting someone that was not visible. On the side of the painting, I drew myself, curled up with a notebook and a pen, looking off into space, where there were deserts and mountains in the far distance.

He took a look at it one more time and folded it away, putting it inside the envelope and placing it in some compartment of his suited shirt, storing it away like it was a baby, taking care that nothing happened to it.

He took my hands in his and held them tenderly, looking down at me with the sweetest stare.

"Hey, Romeo and Juliet, we gotta go!"

"Shut up, Emmett!" Edward said, interrupting our glances and yelling at his friend.

"Yeah, I will when your ass is in the car! Rose is taking me out, so the little one went in search of your car. She said to tell you sorry for snooping in your purse, but that she knew you'd forgive her. Now, get the Hell out of here, Rose isn't leaving until she sees you two outside."

Edward and I laughed, letting go of one hand, but keeping the other with our fingers laced together. He looked down at me and smiled as he saw my friends and Emmett in the Mercedes, then followed me to my Honda Civic.

"So where do you want to go first?" I asked, starting the car.

"How about your house? Don't think I forgot about the promise to get fitting clothes for me."

"Aw, but you look so good like this. A man in uniform is always sexy," I said coquettishly.

He laughed and shook his head.

"You're something else, Bella."

* * *

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed the first part of the day! The second part is coming in the next chapter. I just LOVE these two, aren't they the cutest? For those of you that want to know, the lines from the poem of Jone Keats are from "Song". It's great, you can go check it out any time.**

**Thanks for reading, and I love the support from you all! Thanks for caring!**

**Love you eternally,  
~R Vorenus~**


	18. As Much As I Wish PART II

"So, how do I look?" I heard Edward say, peeking through the doorway. He walked in and tugged the shirt down a little, shoving his hands deep int he pockets and leaning against the door frame.

I opened my mouth and tried to talk but it was kind of hard. He looked like the boy next door, someone you'd grown up with and just sat around to talk to. He looked adorable, with a plain gray t-shirt and some faded jeans.

"Uh, hot?" I laughed. I was putting on my black Uggs, needing to have my feet warm for the journey we were going to take today. Edward decided he wanted me to be the tour guide and take him to the places I thought were a must-see around here. We were going to have lunch, sight-see, and then have dinner and I would take him back to the hotel at night. He was rooming with Emmett, so the room would surely be empty tonight. More space for him, he said and chuckled.

"Did you find a jacket? It's going to be cold outside, and we're walking, so we'll need to have to look for one." I said, trying not to ogle.

He came by me and casually laid down on the bed, starting to protest. "Aw, come on! Walking? That required energy, right? But I'm sooo lazy!" he groaned.

"Oh, please! If you can get up in the middle of the night and do jumping jacks, I'm sure taking a stroll down the street won't be too bad," I looked down at him laying on his back, my hand supporting my weight as I leaned back a little in a more comfortable position to see him.

He laughed, "You're right," he said, getting up. "We should get going." He walked to the guest room, where there was a bundle of clothes Jacob had given me. I walked over to him and picked up my large purse along the way, putting everything in it to ensure that I didn't have to come back home to get anything and interfere with my busy schedule for the day.

He pulled a Virginia Tech sweatshirt over his head and adjusted it to fit him. It was a little big, but it didn't look bad. I don't think anything could look bad on him, honestly. He turned around and noticed my presence and smiled, taking the converse he had brought with him and putting them on.

"Shame on you... Peeping Tom..."

I laughed and rolled my eyes, walking away.

"Well, if you insist that I'm such a pervert, maybe it isn't a good idea for you to hang out with me today..."

He ran out of the room after me, downstairs and stopped me at the door.

"Don't say that," he said, knowing I was just kidding, but looking serious. He had took my wrist and tugged me to get closer to him, so I let go of the doorknob and walked forward to him, stopping at a short distance away.

"I didn't mean it, you know..." I said looking up at him.

"I know, but... I don't want to think that I can't be with you..." He stared down into my eyes; his were clear and dark, the tell-tale sign of sadness. I closed mine and sighed. It broke me when he did this... this, nostalgia thing. I looked up at him again and noticed he wasn't looking into my eyes anymore. His orbs were focused on my plump pink lips, and I naturally licked them, moistening them. He followed the same action, and leaned down a little, his eyes fluttering shut and his nose tickling mine. I closed my eyes, breathing in slowly and waiting for his lips to fall in place over mine.

I felt his breath touching my lips, his sweet scent, and finally his lips touched mine, brushing over them lightly. I tried to go on my tip-toes and pressed my lips against his softly, his lips parted and took my bottom one between them. The warmth that spread through my body came from my heart, the center of all the small jolts I was feeling as his lips worked against mine and he pulled back.

He looked away from me, saying, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

I tip-toed again and ended his apology abruptly by placing my lips onto his again, this time the kiss was a little harder, but felt nicer to see him respond by running his tongue over my lips.

I pulled back, remembering we needed to be somewhere else now, and smiled up at him through my lashes.

"I have too many plans for today to stay here kissing... as much as I wish we could..."

He laughed and let me go, taking my hand and standing behind me, waiting me to open the door. We drove in companionable silence with some soft mood music in the background to a little restaurant in the corner of 23rd street, called the Sizzling Express. It had amazing pizza, and it was already late to have a formal lunch. Besides, I didn't think he's want to; a good old American pizza would be just fine, I was sure.

We took them to go and drove to our first destination: the Lincoln Memorial. I found a nice parking spot and we got out of te car with our warm pizzas, freshly made with melted cheese and crispy crust. He smiled at me as we walked, his mouth full and cheeks looking like a chipmunk's. I swallowed down the bite I had taken and started laughing, almost choking on my Coke. That in turn made him laugh harder, and I thought I lost him for a moment there as he swallowed down everything in his mouth. We finished our slices and threw them away, approaching the large structured building. We stopped for a second, hands held, and looked up at the magnificent architecture.

"Wow, that's amazing..." he said in a low voice.

I nodded, realizing that I had lived here for too long, and so wasn't too appreciative of what I could come to see every weekend. Of course it was amazing to him; he'd never been here, and he had been away from home in such a long time.

"It is... and the most amazing this was that it was built in 1914, during the time World War I started more or less. It was done so recently, it amazes me."

We started walking up the stairs and chatting about the importance of it, who Lincoln was, the things he believed, and the reasons for which they made him a monument. We finally reached the top and walked between the pillars. There, in the middle of the space, as Zeus sat in the movie Hercules, was Ol' Abe Lincoln. He looked forward, onto the future, knowing things would change for the better. He sat comfortably but looked formal, his hat pointed up and his arms and legs resting on the chair he was in.

We walked around the circular area and looked at the amazing marble that was used to build it all.

"It's like the stuff Michelangelo used, but just not as awesome," Edward commented as he looked closely at the monument.

"You know Eleanor Roosevelt used this a symbol to show America that we were all equal and should be treated the same? She chose a black woman to sing the national anthem, Ave Maria, and another song here to show Americans that their prejudice was not that which Lincoln advocated the Emancipation Proclamation for," I said, tuning us around to face the giant George Washington obelisque in the distance.

"Oh, damn, I didn't know. I just knew Roosevelt was a pretty smart gal. And this is impressive," he siad, motioning his head toward what we were looking at.

"Yeah, it's pretty cool. It's even prettier at night, but we can't make it here at that time. It's really beautiful, when the skies are black and the little lights are shining everywhere. I love stars, but I must say, the Washington lights come pretty close to them," I said as we walked down the steps and down the street. We walked a little more until we made it to the Holocaust Memorial Museum.

"Do you have your Military ID badge?"

He thought for a moment and shoved his hand inside the back pocket of the jeans. He took out a wallet and searched through the documentation he had, finding it. He grinned and gave it to me after I found my own school ID. He got in free because of his Marine status, and I got in free because I was a resident student of DC. We smiled at the woman who gave us the pamphlets and walked inside.

We walked by every exhibit in every room and read every word carefully. We looked at all the depictions of the tragic happenings and the stories of those who survived due to a miracle. Every person's story was a different world, but they were all part of the same galaxy: one of suffering and tribulation, and pain that would always be remembered when they looked at their bare shoulders and saw the black ink.

"It's incredible how much strength they all had," Edward told me as we got into the car on our way to the Capitol Building.

"I don't think I have enough endurance and will to last that long... What they did was superhuman, it was, just... out of this world..."

I looked at him as we stopped at a red light.

"I think you do," I said, squeezing the hand I was holding. "If you wouldn't have it, you wouldn't be with me right now... You would have gone a long time ago." There was a brief moment of silence as I accelerated and turned into a municipal parking lot.

"You're the strongest person I know alive. The other one I knew has been gone for a while now, and it wasn't without a mean fight."

Edward smiled lightly and rubbed his thumb over by hand. He got out of the car and took me into his arms, planting a single, sure kiss on my lips.

"I wouldn't be able to do it if I didn't have you cheering me on."

I smiled up at him and decided to turn this into a lighter mood, not such a solemn and mournful one.

"If you'd like, I can put on a cheerleader outfit and buy a pair of pom-poms."

He laughed and let me go, wrapping an arm around my waist, and bringing me close.

"That would be very nice, but I have to admit, I wouldn't be focusing on my duty if I had you looking like that," he raised his eyebrows.

"Hey! No dirty thoughts!" I said, pretending to be scandalized. I smirked and we made it to our destination. We walked down the street and around the capitol building, stopping every couple of steps or so to look at it from a different angle and see a different part of it. We stopped in front of a cleanly trimmed bush and looked at the floor, where there were colorful tulips swaying in the breeze. He looked around and checked for cameras, security guards, or any other people, and slyly "dropped something" and plucked one out of the soil. It was a vivid red, and he handed it to me. I laughed and tucked it inside my coat pocket, hoping no one would take notice of our transgression. We strolled around for a while longer, but as I looked at my clock and realized the prescribed time for this was over, about 15 to 20 minutes before, I tried to hurry us along and got back into the car.

"I don't know if you'll like where I'm taking you next, but from what I think, you will."

"Oh no, you're taking me to the wax museum?"

I chuckled and shook my head, making a u-turn in a restricted area and taking the turn I missed because I was too busy laughing at one of his jokes before.

"No, not there. You'll see when we get there."

"Why do you do this? It's total and complete torture!"

I laughed and turned into the parking lot, which wasn't vacant, but wasn't too populated, either.

"No, you're kidding... right?" He said, half-joking, half-serious, but with a glint in his eyes.

"Folgers Shakespearean Library? Oh yeah."

He opened his mouth and looked at me in awe. I was unaware of what was happening, and to be honest, I was confused.

"How did you know?"

"Know what?"

"That Shakespeare's my favorite writer of all time?"

I smiled and shrugged.

"I don't know, I got the vibe from you."

"Well, maybe i should keep sending you vibes," he grinned as we walked in, looking like he'd just entered a Renaissance castle and was the prince.

"This is great!" he whispered as he looked around. He really reminded me of myself the first time I went to Disney World.

He dragged me along as he went everywhere and read everything, looking at some things longer than others, and stopping right in front of a copy of Hamlet.

It was an abrput stop, so I crashed into his back.

"It's... it's... it's real..." he breathed.

I looked over and saw the wonder he was relishing in.

I smiled, having seen it one million times and having stopped each one to read a couple of words written in the fancy script.

"'This above all, to thine own self be true'... Beautiful." He whispered.

We walked around and cautiously revered in the texts the library held, and soon found ourselves at the end of our time in this place.

"I'm jealous... You love Shakespeare more than me," I teased as we made our way back to the car. Our next stop would be the most significant one, and I purposely left it before dinner so we could have the most alone time.

We made our way to the almost final location I wanted to take him to, and as I drove by closer, he recognized what it was.

In almost a reverent tone, he said, "Arlington."

I nodded and we got out, walking hand-in-hand, closer than we had before. His fingers and mine fit perfectly between each other, and our steps, slow and silent, were in sync. We were as quiet as we could be, respecting the lives of all those thousands upon thousands of men and women that were buried in this place. We remembered their lives, the cost they had to pay for us to be freely walking there today. We looked at all he names, making sure to read one by one, giving them the honor they deserved to have.

We walked in silence for about half an hour, in deep thought and intense emotion. I looked at the black granite with engravings and stopped for a second. Edward came after me as I got closer to one particular column. I ran my gloved finger over the name on the seventeenth line.

_Robert T. Mae_

"He was killed in Vietnam. Grams always told me about how much he would love me if he would have met me." I whispered to Edward, not looking away from the spot that was engraved.

Edward nodded, not knowing what to say, but surely feeling the new level of connection that opened up between us two. He gave my hand a little squeeze, and we kept walking. We passed by some monuments and I briefly explained each to him, then made it to where the amphitheater was. We stood for a second in the light snow that was starting to come down, and took in the immensity of the place. It was impossible not to find yourself amazed when being here. It was so vast and everything was so white and it made you feel like you were so small and insignificant in this large place.

And we were insignificant. At least, I was; because I have done nothing that compares to these souls that have done so much; I've done nothing to compare to what Edward has done.

We walked to the Tomb of the Unknowns and paused for a while before it. We didn't speak, respectfully guarding silence for these unknown but honorable lives that were taken away in the battlefield. I thought about how painful it would be for a mother to see her son off to war, then never have him come back, not knowing if he had perished or was still in the battle. I thought about how she would feel when all the troops came back from combat, and she couldn't take her son in her arms and kiss his forehead, sighing in relief that he was back where he was meant to be. Through my loss in grief, I shed an unknowing tear, which I tried to wipe away by walking on to the next area we were to see. Edward was quicker than I and stood before me, looking down at the trail that ran down my cheek, and the other one that formed when he noticed. He brought his warm hand up to my face and cupped my chin, brushing his thumb over it, then taking it and grazing over the wet spots on my face in either side. He moved my hair back and softly placed his palm on the side of my face, caressing it. His jaw clenched and embraced me, making me melt into his love.

We walked on to the other individual tombs, over 300,000 white stones with miniature American flags, standing proudly on the faded greenery that was now being covered by the soft blanket the sky was letting go of. I stopped in a specific spot, one I had discovered my first time here. It was the most impressive thing I've seen in all my years, and I wanted to share the moment with Edward. He stopped, looking at me a little confused, not knowing why I had paused. He had his back to what I wanted to show him so he didn't know. I turned him around and stared forward, and when I heard his gasp, I knew he understood.

In the distance, we could see hundreds of the tombs, each in its individual square of land, covering acres. Our vision could only see so far, but where it ended, the little specs of white were the sign that there were even more tombs.

I looked at Edward, who seemed to be tragically mesmerized by what was in view.

No one can truly imagine how many lives have been lost in the fight for our nation until they stood in this exact place, and looked out into what seemed like an ocean of souls passed. But no one understood, because no one ever stood right where I was. No one noticed this unimportant place, and no one stopped to see what it was that I saw.

We finally decided it was time to go have dinner, and as we got into the car once more and drove back to DC, we silently took in all we had seen. The thing I loved about Edward, among the many that I did, was that he was so good with companionable silences. It felt natural to be with him and not have to fill up every single second with chatter. Small talk didn't exist with us to, but there were so many spiritual and mental things we shared just by looking at each other. It didn't take too many words for me to know what he was thinking, or vice versa. The things he didn't say were the ones I paid more attention to, and the ones that told me the most.

We drove to the place I had chosen for dinner, a cozy little spot a friend of mine owned. Sam, Jacob's right-hand man, had the nicest little joint in this part of town. It was so familiar, the food tasting as if God had made it and given it to him as a present for his kindness and care. I walked all the way to the back and made myself at home, as I always did. Leah waved at me from the bar and came over to take our order. We said hi and gave each other small hugs, then she asked what we would have.

"Is Quill in tonight? I would love to have some of his clam chowder," I said, hearing my stomach growl and hoping that Edward didn't.

"It's truly the best I've ever eaten, and I don't really like much from the sea," I commented to Edward and all three of us laughed.

"I think I'll have whatever you're having. I trust your palate."

I asked her to bring us something to warm us up, and she brought the Ouzo the guys kept out in the back. It was a Greek drink with an exquisite little kick, and a yummy burning when you took a sip.

Edward drank it and smiled, looking at the bottle.

"This is spectacular, where can I purchase it?"

I laughed and told him that it was sold in pretty much every liquor store, but that he couldn't take it with him on the plane back. He reasoned as much and shrugged, taking another long drink. His ears started glowing red and I laughed. I wa ssure he was an experienced drinker, but it was cute. We talked a little about the places we'd gone to today, and their importance. We finished up dinner, I thanked my friends, and we made out way out and to Washington Harbour.

We walked along the wooden flooring and conversed animatedly about our time together. Edward laughed when he mentioned that I hadn't cared to take him to the White House, which is the first thing people think of when they hear DC. I laughed with him and simply said, "If you haven't noticed by now, I don't think like the rest."

"And maybe that's why I love you so much."

I blushed at his answer and looked away, not used to this type of treatment.

"I'm definitely never going to think like the rest then, so you can never find a reason to stop loving me."

"That's impossible. I don't think I could find a single reason."

"Maybe you're not looking hard enough."

"Maybe you don't value yourself enough."

"Maybe you overdue it."

"Maybe I'm so in love with you, it wouldn't matter."

We stopped and sat down at a nice place, the breeze hitting us without freezing our bodies. It was snowing more now, or maybe it was just the darkness that made it seem so. We looked onto the water, the lights reflecting off the dark blue depth, shining back at us.

"I've never been in love," I stated simply as we looked at the moving water and felt the air caress our exposed faces. "But I think life didn't want me to know what it was like until I met you, so I could appreciate it so much more."

He wrapped his arm around me and hugged me into his body, cuddling with me under the cloudy night sky and distant specks of light.

"Bella?" he asked, almost in a whisper.

"Hmmm?" I answered, looking at the beautiful sight before us and living in the seconds we had left.

"I don't want to go. I want to stay with you tonight, and spend the day with you tomorrow."

My eyes filled with tears, because I knew it would be so much harder to let go now that we had spent so much time together. I nodded and buried my face in his chest.

We stayed before the harbour for a couple more hours, just sitting there and cuddling, not thinking about what we would do next, or what we would do tomorrow. That would be taken care of when the time came. All we focused on were our bodies, closely connected, and the feeling of being together. Just our bodies, and our souls soaring above us, between the night sky and the sea.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you liked part 2! Saturday is still pending, so don't think I'm done with them yet! This was the sentimental part, so tomorrow will be the fun and youthful one! Thanks for reading, hope you liked it, and goodday! Thanks also for the support you give me, I could never do without it!**

**Love you tons,  
~R Vorenus~**


	19. Over and Over Again

I spent the night as I never have before. Although this wasn't the first time I woke in bed with a girl, this was the first time I opened my eyes to see the woman I loved lying next to me. Bella was breathing and exhaling in small intervals, her shoulders rising and falling with the action. Her lips were in a small smile, one of her hands under the pillow and another slung over my waist, cuddling herself closer to me. I had the urge to touch her, but I didn't want to wake her. She seemed to be deep asleep, so I gave into the temptation to touch her, lightly running my fingers over the side of her face and caressing down her jaw. Her eyes fluttered and she shifted around, pressing her back against my chest. I took the opportunity to wrap my arm around her and leaned my lips close to her neck.

She sighed, muttering something that sounded like "good morning" and resting her hand over mine. I lightly kissed her neck and smiled against the warm skin. The giant sweatshirts and woolen pajama pants we were wearing along with the huge comforter made us feel a yummy temperature.

"Morning," I whispered.

She turned her head and gave me a small kiss, turning around again.

She stretched and rubbed her eyes, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"So, what are the plans for today?" I asked.

"Mmmmm," she thought, looking up and biting her lip, "Well, I was planning to go to Hersheypark," she yawned, "If that's good with you."

"Will you hold my hand on the roller coasters?" I asked sheepishly, widening my eyes.

She laughed and looked at me as if I were a child, saying, "I promise."

I smiled and kissed her, placing my chin on the top of her head, her face resting in the crook between my shoulder and neck. I wrapped my arms around her back and gave her a little hug. We got ready for the day, getting dressed and eating breakfast, then looking up the directions to Hersheypark by Map Quest. She printed the map and the directions and we were set. When she told me that it was in Pennsylvania, I freaked out a little, thinking we were going to spend more time in the car and on the highway than in the actual park, together. She sensed it and laughed, reminding me that Washington DC was so small, it was super easy to get to the neighboring states.

We drove for a while and finally got to te park, Bella paying for her reduced fair with her student ID and using my military ID to get in free. She picked up two maps of the park and guided me to the first place. It was a guided walking tour of the Hershey factory. They gave us free samples of the chocolate bars, the kisses, and the other candies they make. I was playing around with Bella, tickling her and stealing her Twizzlers, fooling around and poking her. We were laughing loudly and disrupting the environment for the other tourists, and some security guards asked us to keep it down and behave ourselves. We tried to be serious, but we walked out of the gift shop bursting in laughter. We were so into our own little world of giggles that Bella tripped over a stroller, tried to compose herself but twisted her foot in some strange way and managed to head for the floor face-first. I instinctively grabbed her arm and pulled her back onto me, grabbing her tightly against me. Her eyes were huge when she realized she wasn't on the floor and we started laughing again, hugging tightly.

"You okay, love? I saw you giving the floor a nice kiss," I chuckled as we walked on to the next part of our plan, which were the roller coasters.

"I'm fine," she between breaths, composing herself, "But I would have eaten it if it wasn't for you," she pointed out.

"I have to say, it was pretty funny,"

"Hey!" she smacked my arm playfully. "Yeah, I have to admit it was funnier from where I was standing... or falling."

We made our way to the next part of the plan in the day and located all the roller coasters in the park. We got on the Fahrenheit and I joked around with Bella, asking her if she was tall enough to ride it, because it was a Jolly Rancher ride, meaning you needed to be 5' and above to ride it. She narrowed her eyes at me and stuck out her tongue, saying it wasn't fair that I made fun of her, because I was a giant. I wrapped my arms around her waist and lifted her up.

"Ok, now you're tall enough to go on," I winked.

She pouted, saying, "You're horrible," and I let her down, laughing. We got on and geared up for safety. I held my hand out to her, reminding her wordlessly what she promised. She grabbed my hand and squeezed it for dear life, the small pressure she made on my large hand quite adorable. We held on to the seat protector thing and felt ourselves starting to move. She looked at me a little nervously and I reassured her by squeezing it back, until we hit a 97-degree drop, where I lost my vocal chords and I heard Bella shriek next to me. The rest of the ride was a swerve and a curve and an up and a down, interchangeably every couple of seconds.

When we got off, Bella was a little disoriented and a tad dizzy, so we sat down for a second and waited for her to get better. I laughed and grabbed onto her as she tumbled when she first stood, and made sure she held her balance as we walked.

"Are you feeling all right?" I asked, truly concerned.

"yeah, I'm fine," she said, smiling, "I just haven't done this in such a long time," she reassured.

"You know, we don't have to go on the roller coasters," I tried changing her idea so we wouldn't risk her getting sick and feeling bad.

"Na, it's OK, I'm fine, I swear," she said a little more convinced this time.

"Bella, don't be stubborn, we have a lot more things to do here besides going on all the crazy rides..."

"Edward, shut up..." she said and pushed me lightly, standing up and actually walking in a straight line this time. She turned around, heading for the Wild Mouse and looked at me, raising an eyebrow.

I grinned and got up after her, taking her outstretched hand. That was my girl, she was braver than all the men in my unit.

We then went to the Sidewinder, SooperDooperLooper, Storm Runner, Wildcat, and the Great Bear. When we were getting out of the last one, I was feeling a little loopy myself, after so many twists and turns and near-stroke experiences. We were getting kind of hungry, too, so Bella took me to the Tudor square, where we had a small lunch in the Tudor Cafe. I refused to let Bella pay for anything, but she shoved the money back in my pocket. "Why are you so stubborn?" I jokingly told her. She shrugged and tip-toed, as she did when she wanted to kiss me, so I leaned down and complied with her wishes. It was a light peck, but the girl in the register glared at us, then at Bella, and pushed our food to us. I tried to smile and say 'Thank You', but it was hard with her rude service.

"How do you like the day so far?"

"Well, we've been together for the first couple of hours, so I'd say it's been great."

She laughed and got pink, shaking her head.

"You're dumb," she chuckled.

"You're cute when you blush," I said, trying not to laugh, because I knew she didn't like it.

She turned even redder and glared over her drink.

"You're cute when you're not talking," she countered.

"Damn, you're feisty today," I said joking, "And I like it," I wiggled my eyebrows.

She sputtered a little on her Coke and laughed, wiping her mouth with the napkin. She hit me with lightly and laughed.

"God, I love a man with a sense of humor..."

"You know, I can be much, much funnier..." I offered.

She laughed and we finished our lunch, walking out of the warmth inside and out to pursue the rest of our day. We finished the roller coasters before lunch and since we had just finished eating, we decided to go on the easier, lighter rides. Like the children we were, the bumper cars were first. We ran to opposite sides of the course and jumped onto the cars. They rang the bell, since we were the only ones there, and I raced over to the side Bella was on. She quickly dodged me and hauled ass around the track, and I followed her, finding the moment he turned to quickly change the direction I was in and rammed into the saide of her car. She screamed a little at the impact and we both broke out into a fit of laughter, Bella driving away again but failing to get away from be because she ran into the side twice and got stuck between two other cars.

I gave her car a little bump, taking it out of the place it was stuck in, and she quickly turned around and bumped me against the wall. The impact threw me to the side and I gasped, pretending I was mad at her for not being grateful of my save. She flew off again and I followed after, making eye contact as we met halfway and did a head-to-head collision. We both crashed against the wheel and the chair, laughing like a bunch of pre-pubescent teenagers. They rang the bell again and stopped the cars, and we got out still shaking with laughter. I tried to kiss Bella but it ended up being weird lip-bumping thing because of our laughing. We waved good-bye to the guy in the booth and he just looked at us, laughing too.

We then made it to the Music Express, then on The Howler and The Crawler. They were fun ones, but I think it's clear what the best ride of the entire day was. We were starting to get tired of all the laughing and good times, so we moved on to the attractions that were slow-moving, nice and enjoyable without any crazy thrills.

Our first stop was the Ferris Wheel, almost a hundred feet into the air, looking over a great majority of the park. It was nice and breezy up there, and I took the opportunity to cuddle Bella closer to me. I put my arm over her and pulled her into a huge hug. She was looking a little cold, or maybe that was just the excuse I was using to get her closer. She melted into me and we took the rounds on the wheel, taking in the view and relaxing into each other.

We got off incredibly more chilled out then we did when we got on. We casually strolled over to the Kissing Tower and took advantage of the emptiness. We sat smack-dab in the middle and curled up into each other once more, this time Bella on my lap. I rested my chin on her shoulder and wrapped my arms in front of her, her hands holding mine. We sat in silence and looked at the darkening skies, and over the park with all the lights that were starting to turn on as night began to fall. I placed a small kiss on her shoulder and rested my forehead on the back of her neck, closing my eyes, trying not to see the night descend, our time slowly coming to an end. She turned around and angled herself on me, lifting up my head and bringing her lips down on mine. Needless to say, we didn't look at much on our way down from the 270-foot tower. We were too busy kissing a little here, hugging a little there, sticking a tongue out here, licking a little there. The trip ended and we felt the huge Hershey's kiss we were in stop, landing on the ground. We didn't really care, until we heard a little kid say, "Mommy, what's that?" Bella practically jumped off me and dashed out the door, with me quickly following. We heard the parents say something like, "Indecents..." and we ran away as far as possible, trying to mask the shame we felt for practically putting on an XXX show in front of innocents.

I looked over at Bella, all flustered and bothered and laughed, slowing down our trotting speed into a nice walk. I pulled her closer once again and chuckled, "That was awkward." She agreed and let out a small nervous laugh, and then her eyes lit up. I looked in the direction she was looking and smiled, seeing the carousel that was turning at the slow music and the dim lights, the mirrors reflecting the horses and carriages that were rotating and moving up and down at different speeds. She looked at me, her eyes a pair of stars, and tugged me over to the magical little place.

I think that's one of the things I love most about Bella, I reflected as I got onto a black stallion next to the white Arabian horse Bella had chosen. She was so smart, so mature, so amazing, but she also knew how to enjoy the simple pleasures in life. She liked reading Shakespeare, trying to solve world hunger, thinking about restoring humanity to a peaceful state, but she can also go on bumper cars, make dirty jokes with bad punch lines, and ride on a carousel as if she was five years old again. I already knew it, but now it hit me harder that it had before, that she was the woman of my life. I had waited so long for her, finally found her. I know it wasn't the conventional ways of love, and it surely wasn't what people expected to see, but it was real. It was serious, and it was important to me. She was important to me.

I tried to think back and pin-point where this started to happen... But I couldn't tell. Bella grew on me tremendously, and every single moment I spent with her, looking into her shy but decided chocolaty eyes, I fell in love with her over and over again. I looked at her now, the breeze making her hair blow back, her hands on the golden pole of the carousel, her smile coy, her lashes long and prettily framing her gorgeous eyes.

I can't leave her.

I swear, I can't.

* * *

**A/N: Ello again! Today was much more lighthearted, but it is still romancey. I think I'll cry when Edward leaves... he really tugs at my heart strings. I hope you liked it, and thanks for keeping up and supporting me!**

**You're amazing!**

**I love you,  
~R Vorenus~**


	20. I Want You Forever To Stay

**The poem is mine, the quote from Jrow1107, I think.**

* * *

I didn't sleep last night. When we came home, Bella made us some nice and hot chili, my tongue thanking me for trusting her chef skills. We took a bowl each and a huge blanket, and went up to the roof. We sat facing the front of the house, looking over the rooftops of other houses, the trees and streetlights visible only to an extent. The clouded sky and darkening houses blurred into one horizon, extending the world to infinity, warping our time into eternity. We had a contest of who could eat the chili the fastest without gulping down the milk, because it had some chunks of jalapeno peppers in it. I lost, miserably to say the least, to Bella and so I was punished with the ultimately terrible deed of singing "I'm a Barbie Girl". We had a good laugh after we put the glasses and bowls aside, cuddling together under both blankets.

It wasn't snowing tonight, but there was an icy chill that crept onto your skin, the breeze wonderful, but the cold making your skin chill. I sat Bella on me and wrapped the first blanket around her, pretending to cover myself, too, but not doing so, because I knew she needed the extra warmth. I wrapped the second one around my back and held it closed around us. The hours we spent up there, relishing in each other's warmth, lasted a lifetime. We sat, holding onto each other's arms and embracing, whispering the meaning of life into each other's ears, discussing the wonders of the universe as we held each other closely, and revered in the small kisses and soft caresses of a lover's last night.

She curled herself up around be, and I wrapped my self around her, our bodies molding into the perfect shape, the one that nature had created for us to fit into. We were the yin and yang, Bella the light to my dark universe; she was a supernova, I was a black whole. I rubbed her back lightly, tracing random images onto her shoulders and sides, outlining circles on her outer thigh and sliding my arms around her. She rested her head against my shoulder, her warm cheek resting in the crook of my neck. She nuzzled the spot with her nose and stayed in the spot. The minutes marched around us in admiration. She raised her hand to my face and looked into my eyes, her brow furrowed.

"You're freezing, love," she said, both of her hands framing my face, trying to warm it up, "We should go inside."

I made a noise protesting the thought, but didn't have the will to go against what she said. I got up with her, covering her with the blanket as we climbed down with our dishes and into the heated house. I took the dirty dishes from her hands against her will and placed them in the sink, dashing back upstairs so I wouldn't miss an instant. She smiled and patted the empty spot next to her, sinking into the blanket and comforter, only her little nose poking out from underneath the sheets. I slipped in next to her and pulled the covers over my head, lying in the complete darkness with Bella in my arms.

"I love you," she whispered.

I felt a lump in my throat grow instantaneously, thinking that this would be the last time i would be able to hold her to me, tell her how much she meant to me, and what big part of my life she made up now. Her soft hands against my chest, her small but long fingers between my own, holding on to my heart, ensuring it wouldn't slip out of her grasp. Her warm breath against my skin, her plump lips against mine, her eyes looking through me, deep into my soul. I would have to lock the feelings in the great big treasure chest of my mind and heart keeping them safe inside me.

"I love you, more than anything," I managed to say somehow without my voice breaking or sounding too mournful.

She got closer to me, still, and rested her head against my heart. I pulled down the covers so that we could have some air and gasped in all the fresh breaths I could silently. I needed to be strong, and I couldn't let Bella know how much I was suffering inside. It would be unfair to put her through the pain I knew would be exponentially added to the agony she was already feeling. I bit my lip hard and closed my eyes, willing myself not to act out on a whim.

I wanted to run away with her. I wanted to go AWOL or MIA, or fake a death so that I cold stay and no one would know that I was alive, just Bella. Bella and I, in our own world, together and without any worries, living the life I'm sure would be perfect. That's all I needed, to be with her. If she was with me, it didn't matter where we went, what we did, or who we were... We would be together, and that was enough for me.

"You know I wrote a song once?" I said, my chin resting on the top of her head, my fingers playing with her hair, wrapping a strands between them and letting them go again.

"Hmmmm?" she asked lazily.

"Yeah... I made it in hopes that I'd find a girl some day to sing it to..."

"Are you going to sing it to me?"

"Only if you promise not to laugh, mock me, run away, or cry."

"Ok, I promise."

I cleared my throat and kept my eyes closed, remembering the melody and humming the intro.

I began to sing to her, and felt her cuddling closer with every verse.

_The road was dark, the trees were dense  
The night had fallen, the stars hiding away  
From my lonely heart, from my lonely heart  
That walked in the night, empty of sense  
The beats it stepped leading it astray  
From my lonely life, from my lonely life  
Until the beam cleaned my soul of grief_

_And I saw your face, the inner light  
Radiant like no other, the only hope  
I could ever think, dream, wish of  
The calm that's after the storm  
'Cause you're the one that's right  
You're the one that's right  
The moon wishes she was as bright  
I have no reason to mope  
You rain down on me pure love_

_I looked to the heavens, but there was no sun  
The light coming from you I could not explain  
Filling my lonely heart, filling my lonely heart  
Your soul and mine together, on the run  
I will not let you go now, not suffer the pain  
Of having you far away, having you far away  
I want you forever to stay_

_And I saw your face, the inner light  
Radiant like no other, the only hope  
I could ever think, dream, wish of  
The calm that's after the storm  
'Cause you're the one that's right  
You're the one that's right  
The moon wishes she was as bright  
I have no reason to mope  
You rain down on me pure love_

_I want you forever to stay  
I want you forever to stay_

As I was getting to the last stanza, started to feel her shaking, and I knew she hadn't stayed true to her words, and I would feel her crying. I made it my mission to wrap myself around her as hard as I could, not letting her go from my arms. I held her tightly but gently, soothing her by humming another song and rubbing her head, running my fingers through her hair. I shed a couple of tears with her, but I didn't let her know. She finally calmed down and I lulled her to sleep, watching over her throughout the night, making sure I was conscious every minute of the night so that I could take advantage of the time.

We woke up in silence, the clock sounding at 5 AM and playing some light music. Bella opened her eyes slowly and closed them again, pulling me to her and hiding her face in my chest. I felt it, the start of a long journey that I didn't think I could live through. If I couldn't let her go here, I didn't know how I would leave her behind in the airport.

I walked to the bathroom, trying not to look at Edward, picking up a pair of clothes along the way and closing the door behind me quickly, turning on the shower so that he couldn't hear my sobs. I tried to keep the subdued and silenced myself by biting down on my knuckles, but as the water ran down my body I felt numb and couldn't find a way to stop the crying. I got out of the shower and dressed myself, hearing Edward moving back and forth between my room, the guest room, and the shower on the other end of the hall.

When I got out, he wasn't in my room, so I assumed that he was still in the shower. I threw on some jackets and shoes and grabbed my bag, the airport information in there. I walked downstairs, thinking that I would wait for him there as he got ready to leave. I walked through the dining room and saw him standing at the door stiffly, his few belongings in one hand.

He stood straight, his navy blue suit with a tiny pin of the American flag, golden buttons running down the middle, all the colorful badges in one side, the other side saying in red thread,  
EDWARD A CULLEN  
U.S. MARINE

His white gloves made a huge contrast and his clean black shews almost reflected my picture. I saw my face and tried to decide what was worse: my zombie expression or the tears that were forming in the back of my eyes. I bit my lip, trying to stop myself from crying on the spot and drew a little blood. He looked at me from under his formal navy blue and white hat, his eyes looking narrower and his face looking like that of another man's for a second. It was hard to tell myself that it was him that was really leaving, really going hundreds and thousands of miles away from me.

I sucked in a breath and walked over to him, opening the door and motioning to him to walk about first. He nearly marched down the steps of my porch, and I felt that he was marching out of my life. Even if it would only be temporary, he promised, it would feel like an eternity of separation. But he promised he would come back, so I had a thread of hope that was still intact.

We drove in silence to the airport. He removed his glove and took my hand in his, making it impossible for me to keep up the facade I had created. He squeezed my hand a little harder as we approached the airport and parked as far away as we could. He put back on his glove, straightened his hat, and stood in front of me. I fixed his shirt, which was a little skewed to the side, and took the arm he had provided me with. I grabbed on for dear life and walked in solemn silence to the departure room. There, I saw his fellow Marines, waiting for him to go inside the glass room. I wasn't allowed in there, because it was an exclusive area, just for them. Edward turned his back to the people waiting for him to join them and took my face into his cold, gloved hands. I longed to feel his fingers again, but knew that this was probably the last time ina long time that i would get to feel anything at all from him.

He leaned down and lightly brushed his lips over mine, landing them for the briefest moment and pulling away. My forehead rested on his chin and held me for a short eternity, and took my hands in his, looking into my eyes, his liquid pools of rich emerald. I knew the look.

He whispered the last words to me.

"Together forever, never apart. Maybe in distance, but never in heart."

He kissed my forehead quickly and looked at me one more time. He turned on his heel and marched straight back into reality. He walked through the crowd, even after he was inside, and was lost in the sea of black, white, and blue. He didn't turn back, and neither did I when I lost sight of him.

* * *

****THIS IS NOT DONE!****

* * *

_A/N: Thank you for reading, and putting up with me on this sad one._

_I really love you,  
~R Vorenus~_


	21. Remedied My Soul The Only Way I Knew

Sunday came and passed without any effect. I sat in the living room. I walked up the stairs. I laid under the covers. I got up again. I walked to the bathroom. I went to the porch. I don't remember eating. I don't remembering thinking. I remember breathing and sighing, looking with an empty glance at everyone that walked down the street. There was nothing in my stare when I looked over the houses and trees from the attic, and there was even less when I looked around the house that I shared with loneliness.

I went to bed lazily, surrounding myself with warmth, yet feeling the coldness of my insides seep through my pores into the surroundings. I fell asleep quikly because of the lack of cerebral functioning. I woke up an hour before my alarm clock and got ready in half an hour. I sat in my bed, looking around, waiting for the first signs of life to return to me. Somehow it didn't happen as quickly as I would have wished, but when the male voice streamed through the cold room and the words penetrated my seemingly eternal reverie, I shuddered.

_... of a 7.0 magnitude has hit the Haitian island. there has been chaos and fear spreading like wildfire amongst the Haitian people, and the Salvation Army, along with the Red Cross have not been able to do all that they wish. We are currently asking all of our listeners and supporters to please send in as much bottled water as they can. These people are dying, and scared, and the least we could do to help is send them a little food. They also need some First Aid materials and medicine. We will be..._

I blinked twice, looking at my reflection in the vanity that was far away. I was sitting in the middle of my bed, a leather jacket on, furry boots, the best quality pair of thermal pants I could find, and I was upset. I was safe, I was healthy, I was alive. For the first time in my life, I realized how egotistical and ridiculously selfish I was being in this love-ache-induced stupor. I was moping over something that had a solution, something that is based on the decision of humans, and here were these ridiculously poor people, losing the little they had. I felt upset at myself for being so encapsulated in my own theatrical show that I wasn't focusing on what was going on with others that had more worries than I did.

Edward might have left, but I knew he would come back some day. These people didn't know if the family and friends they've lost have perished under the rubble and ceased to breathe, leaving them alone in this world. What else can you take away from someone that has nothing? Hope. Life. Those are the worst things to rip away from them.

So I re-evaluated myself and reminded myself that now, apart from the new-found destiny of loving and being loved by Edward, I must stay true to my first love. That was, I should never forget to love the world, and help it out. These millions of people needed so desperately help and supplies, I couldn't walk around unfeeling and mournful. I had to do something.

I got up, still too early to be in school, but drove there anyway. I was the only student there, along with the faculty and security guards. I made my way straight to Mr. Whitlock's classroom and opened the door, turning on the lights and making myself as if at home. He hadn't arrived yet, but he was sure to be there in another half an hour. I knew he wouldn't mind me being here, knowing I was probably working on some important humanitarian-related project. I turned on my laptop, which I brought today because I planned on working extensively during classes on this project. The teachers might look over and think to themselves, "Wow, she's taking notes at the speed of light," but I'll be sure to organize the biggest drive ever done for the Haitian people in crisis.

The school bell rung, signaling that there were 10 minutes to get to class. I left the room and turned off the lights, leaving it as I had found it, puzzled as to why Mr. Whitlock wasn't here yet. I walked to my first period class and noticed some people lounging around, others talking animatedly about their weekend. I sat down and got to work again, the time flying by in both classes I had before lunch. I ran up to Mr. Whitlock's room the moment the bell rang for our freedom, and dashed through the hallways, ducking and rolling around like I was in Mission Impossible 4. I got to the room out of breath but all in one piece, and burst through the door.

I saw a substitute and wondered what the Hell was going on, running to lunch and seeing Rose and Al sitting, looking worried and frantic until they caught a glimpse of my extra-pale and tired-looking face. Alice jumped on my and almost made me stagger backwards, caching me off-guard.

"Where's Jasper?" was all I could think to as at the moment.

"He called his brother, and flew to Haiti. He's a correspondent for CNN, so it was OK for Jazz to go. He told me not to tell you before, because he knew you'd want to go, and would probably take 3 flights down to Florida and make a raft to get there. I'm sorry, Bella..." she said, her small face looking really sad.

I shrugged, closing my eyes and thinking of the project I had been working on the entire day. I had not been planning and devising for 5 hours straight in vain, and even if there was no sponsor for our club, I would make this get approved and I would do it as quickly as possible.

"Um, can we sit down and talk about something? I have an outline made of all the things we need, and a way of getting them, as well as collecting things for the victims of the quake. I have everything in lists and files, and I can do this overnight if I could, but I need to get this signed off by administration. Now."

She looked at me as if I was commanding her and nodded, taking my USB and running in the direction of the computer lab to print it and take it to the administration. Rose just stood, staring at me.

"You know they don't approve things that aren't proposed 72 hours in advance?"

"Yeah, well I'm an effing psychic and knew this was going to happen, so I came up with the plan before it could even occur," I snapped sarcastically.

Two things that should never be combined: my feelings of not doing enough to help others, and the void of losing someone I loved. I was not a happy camper, to say the least, and all the stress was finally catching up to me. I marched out of the school and walked to my car, getting in and leaving. I wasn't planning to spend two more hours in two more classes I wasn't fond of, where I would be mistreated by the teachers and annoyed to death, now that everyone knew I was the "Marine's chick".

As soon as I got home, I slammed the door shut and went up to my room, throwing my bags on the floor and sitting in the comfortable spot next to the window. Instead of looking out, I looked within, and tried to point out what was wrong with me, and how I could fix it. I didn't find the answer, so I knew what I had to do. I texted Al to send me an email when she got the papers approved, and let her know I was willing to do this the illegal way if I had to.

I took up my journal and ripped out a page, picked up my calligraphy pen and remedied my soul the only way I knew how. The program might have ended, but I would never stop writing to Edward.

* * *

**A/N: We welcome **_Whitney Love_**, who's the newest addition to the LTSL family. happy reading! :D**

**Sorry for the brevity of the chappie, but I wanted to let you know what was up with her. I'll write the letter in the next chapter, and I'll do 2 POVs to make it up to you. I'll be in Disney this weekend, so I don't know how much I'll get done before that. Thanks for everything, I love you!**

**Truly yours, as always,  
~R Vorenus~**


	22. Time Would Never Go By

_Dear Edward,_

_I've been thinking a lot about you ever since I saw the back of your perfect suit being swallowed up by the crowd of navy blue and white. Of course, I've been thinking about you for a long time now. I decided I should always keep you in my mind and heart, but most of all, I should remember that life goes on. I am here and you are there, just like we were before things got complicated in the most wonderful of ways. The world still moves; it rotates around itself and the sun, as my heart and yours dance an elliptical beat, an unknown gravitational pull keeping them together. The fact that I can't hear your heartbeat like when I laid my head on your chest doesn't change the fact that everything around us is in constant motion. I wish the world would stop, for a second, and pay us the dues we deserve for being apart, but it won't. If it did that every time a pair of lovers were separated, time would never go by._

_The things that are happening around the planet deserve their importance, too, even though they seem to pale in comparison to void feeling separation caused in me. It's weird, to think that I used to be alone, before I knew you, and I was all right. I'm fine now, but once I've felt what I have and it has been dangled in front of my nose and taken away from me subsequently, it really is unfair. But, remembered who I am, and what it is that I need to do in this world; that is, I must help as many people as I can. I'm organizing a huge food and water drive, as well as a sanitation kits and other medicinal products collection around the school for Haiti. Alice started collecting money and we've made over $10,000. It's incredible how people give when they know that fellow human beings are in pain and suffering from the worst conditions ever known. I think it shows how great humans truly are, and even though we have our millions of faults, how we genuinely care so much about others. It's not about their socioeconomic status, their religious beliefs, their skin color, or their customs... It's about who they are, and how much help they need._

_Moving on from that, I want you to know that my soon-to-be daughter-sister or sister-daughter, call that wonderful being what you will, is healthy and growing at an amazing speed in Renee's womb. I can't believe that she's expected to come so soon, and I was surprised when I found myself excitedly planning her arrival. I already know what I'm getting for her room and the music I'm going to play for her so she can fall asleep. I researched a ton of baby books and parenting guides and looked them over, skimming to see if I found anything mildly useful that I didn't already know. I've been talking to Charlie and he said if I was having too much trouble, he could help me out with some tips. I felt bad afterwards, because I just laughed in his face and walk away when he told me that. As if he would know anything. He couldn't raise me, and he can barely take care of his own now, so I wasn't too keen on asking him for help when he gave me the option. Alice, Rose, and Jasper offered to do whatever they could, and I took their generosity and wholehearted offering into deep consideration. Those three are truly great, and I don't know what I would do without them if the time ever came. I think without you and the three I would have nothing left. Except the baby, of course, but she'd be too young to know anything or understand the reason why Mommysister Bella cried at night or had such aa vacant expression in her eyes._

_This morning, I woke up on your side of the bed. Your scent adorns my room, the sheets only one of the many surfaces where the shadow of you lies. I played the playlist you made for me and looked out the window as the snow covered every surface on the outside world. I was warm in the room, your memory wrapping its sweet blanket around me, your absence cuddling against my body as I stared out into the reflection of the winter inside my heart. I smiled. I know it seems inappropriate, but as the sky started to darken and the clouds covered everything, a sliver of light shone through, and the moon reminded me that she had a light. She reminded me that even though I couldn't see her, somewhere hundreds of miles away at a later time, you'd be staring into her and seeing the crystalline onyx spotted by bright spotlights shining millions of miles away._

_I miss you, but I shouldn't. You're here with me, every minute that passes, my heart beating under the metallic remembrance of you._

_I hope we'll be able to see each other again some time soon, and please, promise me you'll take care until then._

_I love you,  
Bella._

I was taken aback when Emmett came over to me and hug-tackled me. I didn't feel like asking him what the deal was, because I honestly didn't care. I was too busy sulking and robotically performing my tasks and trainings. When he handed me over a letter, I almost spit my heart out and swallowed it back again. Could it be possible that... I surely wasn't true... There was no way that she wrote me a letter the same day I wrote her one.

_Dear Bella,_

_The walls seem to be caving in on me. I have never felt this confined and subject to slavery in my life. I thought maybe it would be a good thing to get out and take some breaths of fresh air, but it only did me worse to have so much freedom and be with someone I love so much. They guys are feeling the same here, and all we can talk about is what we did in the 2 days we had apart. Everyone has a different story, but I don't care what they say, mine's the best. I'm now known as the "whipped one", but I honestly don't give a crap. I would rather they make fun of me for an eternity and have one more day with you than stay here and be the most serious, respected Marine in all of the US forces._

_I hope things are going better with you than they are with me, and please do excuse the rudeness of my writing such a short letter, but there are so many things I want to say but can't express, it's just making me frustrated as I try to write them down._

_I miss you, and I love you._

_Yours,  
Edward_

I tried not to die when I saw a letter for me in the mail this soon. I had sent Edward a letter not so long ago, and was surprised to have an answer so quickly. It was post marked earlier than my letter though, so I was intrigued. When I finished reading it, I closed my eyes and the letter, placing it on my night table. I tried to keep myself together, covering my face with my hands and breathing in and out as deeply as I could. I heard a sniffle and only allowed one lonely tear to escape the side of my closed eye. I wiped it away and sighed, composing myself. I couldn't let myself get carried away with this. I had told him that things would move on regardless of our state of being, but I wasn't believing my words too much at this instant. I picked up mu phone and texted Al. I knew she would help me get through this. Once the weekend rolled around again, she was sure to do something to make it all better for me. I smiled as my phone vibrated barely a second after the "Sent" declaration came on screen. It was Al, and she was coming over right now. Even though my love was thousands of thoughts away, I had a best friend who I would be nothing without, and I thanked whatever greater being for her existence.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for waiting on me, lovelies! I'm baaack after an aamazing weekend of relaxation, and I'm ready to get on the ball again. -grins- Still sad, but they're starting to learn to suck it up and move on. Thing will get better, I promise. And I have many secrets, funnies, and life twists to reveal. So, stick around, this is not the end!**

**Love you much,  
~R Vorenus~**


	23. Chief Warrant Officer 5

_Dear Bella,_

_It was too funny to get a letter from you at the same time I sent one over to you. It's kind of adorable that you thought of it as I did. I knew it wouldn't stop us from communicating, even though the pen-pal program had ended. I should let you know, many of the other men and women here are upset that the program ended, but they've just sat it through and gotten over it. I think Emmett and I are the only ones that are still communicating with our girls through the mail. I must say, I agree fully with your words and I know what you mean entirely. Life does go on, and changes, but I want to make it clear to you that my love for you will not. It will remain the same regardless of the time that passes by or the distance that stretches between us. If it does change, it will only get stronger and solidify._

_Everything here's been the same as I left, but kind of harder. They've been changing things up with regard to training and have tightened security. There was a bomb problem in a neighboring US Army stationing while we were over there with you guys and some soldiers got killed. It was hard on many of the inhabitants of the town, because they had become close friends with the soldiers. They started a school building project and the entire unit chipped in as much as they could to build the education center. The bomb that went off was first targetting the unit, and later the school that they so meticulously planned out and devides. The soldiers even built the school themselves, brick by brick, and added supplies to the classrooms. There were no lives lost in the school bombing, thank a higher power for that, because it hadn't been inagurated yet. There was a loss of 23 American soldiers and 3 Afghani informants that were taken by the explosion._

_On other less lethargic news, I rose to the rank of Chief Warrant Officer 5 now. I was a Chief Warrant Officer 3 before, but I rose the two ranks because of me "dedication, serious involvement, and life risking abilities" which I find pretty funny, because no one else would be here if we weren't all decidated, serious, and we risk our lives every day just by leaving the base. I'm very happy about it, and I was ecited about telling you the news. The next rank i would ascend to would be Second Lieutenant, but I doubt they will promote me like that. Lieutenants don't really do much of the action stuff. they're genrally the ones that get together and start thinking up the tactical responses and offensive/defensive things we should do. I doubt that they would take me out of combat, because they know I'm willing to go all the way, unlike some of the other big names here. Even if I was promoted, I think I would be out there regardless, because I'm willing to do whatever it takes to preserve the safety of our unit and people in our country. But I refuse to commit brutalities, regardless if I have a high rank or a lower one. I am being really careful, though, watching my back extra hard so that I am sure I'll see you soon again. I'm coming back to the US for 2 months to do intensive training in July, and I plan on ditching the days I don't need to be on-campus training. It's 2 months in the US, but only about 6 weeks of real, hardcore training. I have every intention of flying up to DC to see you, since I'll be in Texas._

_I'll be counting down the days, as I did last time, and I'll be as excited as I was about the first time we met._

_I'm really happy that you're working on the Haiti situation. every day something worse happens to those poor people, and I'm almost convinved that the help you're providing is going to make their lives less difficult than they are already. Please don't do anything crazy, though, like going over there yourself without any legitimate rescue teams, or sneaking out of the country to do something like that. I love that you're so selfless, but you need to stay safe. If not for you, then do it for me, or for the baby, at least. I know it would be hard for the baby to grow up without a father, not knowing who he is and all, so I want to offer myself as a step-daddy, if I should say, or just someone to help you out. I won't be here forever, I'm sure, so there will be a point in which I will go back to the country and I have every intention of helping you raise that innocent. I hope you don't think it's weird and all, because I know it's not your baby, and it has nothing to do with me, but in actuality it does. It's something that affects you, and since you're part of me, then it also affects me. I'm sorry about Renee being a crazy person, and I wish I could help you more. I hope you can take up my offering. I could be Uncle Edward if the child starts asking difficult questions. I know it's a very fresh move from my part, and extremel audacious, but at least I'm asking you permission first? I'm sure you'll be an amazing mothersister, or sistermother, and I want to be able to help you out._

_I also wanted to ask you if you could send me another picture or two of you. I would love to have the ones from our mini field trips, even though I remember every instant perfectly, I want to remind myself that it wasn't all something I made up. I need to prove to myself (and the skeptical guys around me) that I actually did have the most amazing weekend of my life with the woman I love. Some of the guys started accusing me of bribery, saying that I paid you all my money so that you would ppretend to be with me. They told me to prove that I wasn't lieing by showing them your letters, but those are something I will never show anyone. I'm greedy, and I want all of your goodness for myself. I would never betray your confidence by spilling your secrets to men and women who don't care about them, and don't know how to appreciate you like I do._

_Yesterday, while we were not doing what we were supposed to, talking instead of cleaning our weapons, Emmett brought up the fact that I was "different". I laughed at his stupidity, because I was sure he'd say something like "You look like cupid - fat and grinning all the time" or "You're the Love Machine, Edmeister" or something of that sort. But he pointed out something that I didn't notice before, but that made a lot of sense. i completely blame you for it, by the way, and I want you to feel the heavy fault over your shoulders, hahahaha._

_He said to me, "You know, Ed, you look kinda different. I'm not saying that in a bad way or anything... It's just weird." So I did my signature eyebrow quirk thing and asked him what he meant. the other guys around started elbowing each other and whispering like little girls and giggling. I gave them my evil glare and they straightened up, stopped laughing, and cleared their throats, looking around at everywhere but me. So Emmett says, "I don't know man. It's weird. You smile and stuff now, even when you have to train. And you look sort of like in another place. I mean, you're here, but sometimes you're farther away. Not like in Care Bear land or something, but just out of here. And you laugh for real now... Like, whenever someone says somehitng stupid, you don't just nod and chuckle dryly like you used to... Telling you, bro... It's weird. You have that sparkle thing that Dumbledore had. Not that I'm comparing you to him. But you are sorta like him... Wise and stuff, and... um... yeah... I swear I'm not kissing ass or anything..." and he eventually just drifted off into silence not know what to say. Emmett's really a caveman, and I don't think he'll ever understand the concept of love. I think he's feeling it, because I've noticed he's been kind of out of his perverted nasty league lately._

_Well, everything else is good, and I hope to hear from you soon. I think about you all the time (well, most of the time, when I don't have to roll under spikes and wires and jump over mines and stuff). I hope I'm on your mind too, and I want you to write something good that's happened to you in these weeks next time you send me a letter. We can't keep our spirits down; not now. Oh, and I'm still waiting for that secret revealing you promised, hahaha._

_Love you a lot,  
Edward_

* * *

**A/N: What will Bella say about the news? Oh, you'll have to wait and see! Its horrible, isn't it? But you'll get to read it soon. They're starting to cheer up a little as you can see, and they are much happier than in the start of their separation. I love the two, they're so cute!**

**Love you for reading and giving me all that amazing feedback!**

**Yours, and Edward's,  
~R Vorenus~**


	24. Like A Dragon With Three Heads

_Dear Edward,_

_I'm very glad to hear all the accomplishments that you have made in your time back. I'm proud of you, and you have a very happy little bragging brunette here in the states who can't get over the fact that others are starting to appreciate you as I do. You made my day by telling me about your return. I wouldn't have expected it, and in all honesty, it just brightened my days exponentially. I can't wait, even though it's in a couple off months. I'll be waiting for the day, and I'll be ready for you when you come back. I've strengthened myself in your absence, and I think our bond is becoming something unbreakable, something everlasting. I don't dwell on the vacant spot on my bed where your head used to lie and your smell still lingers. I breathe it in, and remember that in a near future, I will see you again. I will hold you in my arms, and you will cradle me in yours. We will be together again, and this temporary break does nothing to who we are._

_I'm sorry for the losses of the men that you mentioned, and I'll be sure to make an announcement in the school news feed so that we can have a brief moment of silence in the memory of those men and women whose lives were lost. But, as I hear this, it only makes me wary and reminds me that you're one of those men and women that is constantly exposed to this fruitless, ongoing battle, that rages on every day with more power. Like a dragon with 3 heads, when you cut one off, two spring from where the one used to be. I wish you could come home, and together we would forever go into the land of never._

_As much as I would love that to happen, I must admit that it could never be possible. I am now the only responsible adult within a 100-mile radius of my family members. I think I would have killed Renee if it wasn't for the fact that she was pregnant. A couple of days ago, I found her sprawled on the bathroom floor as if someone had knocked her out. She's getting heavier now, not because of the growing being inside her, but because of the amount of food she consumes. I tried to pick her up but I sort of tripped in thee process and banged my elbow against the counter really hard. It was painful, but I tried to get over it and stand up again in an attempt to pick Renee up and take her to the hospital or to see our doctor friend a couple of houses down. I panicked for a brief moment and took her up, bringing her over my back and rushing out the door with her as an over-sized backpack. I took her to the car and tried to buckle her in and treat her as softly as I could, thinking I was doing harm to the baby if I was brusque._

_I ran two red lights and I stopped counting after seven stops signs. I hauled ass to the hospital and did a little Tokyo Drift into the parking lot, thanking God Renee hadn't moved an inch since I placed her in the backseat. I nervously looked back every few seconds to make sure she was OK, to check if she was breathing and at least alive. She had somewhat gained brief consciousness of her surroundings, and blinked up at me with a confused face. She looked drowsy, so I wrapped my arms around her and draped one of her arms over my shoulders, walking with her, supporting her. She didn't seem to have any pain or be complaining about anything, so I assumed it hadn't been anything too grave. I tried to walk us faster to the emergency and talked to my friend Victoria, who worked for the front desk, and was the assistant to Dr. James Huntington, who I was in extreme need of seeing at the moment. Dr. Jay, as I called him, had been the one that helped us with grams, and had been there for me ever since the second I turned 18. Sometimes I trusted things to him I couldn't tell grams or anyone else. Well, there really wasn't anyone else I could tell, but you get the point with the trust, right?_

_So, I rushed into his office and he sort of freaked out when he saw me driving Renee up to his desk in a wheelchair, looking like she was beyond out of it. I told him how I found her and almost pleaded for his help. He could notice how desperate I was and threw his papers aside, leaving the forms he was filling in and taking Renee away from my hands, steering her into a salon somewhere I couldn't determine down the long, illuminated hallway. I sat on the couch he has in the corner of the room uncomfortably. I looked around the room, I checked the clock, I stood, I paced, I sat. After an hour of painful waiting, I finally saw Dr. Jay's face again. He looked at me with a sad expression, and I instantly thought the worst, but he waved it off. He signaled for me to follow him and I did, to the room where Renee was lying down in bed comfortably._

_He told me she was fine, except for some minor bleeding that occurred. The baby was OK, so there was no need to worry about the little one. I looked at Renee in panic when he told me that she had fractured a wrist. I was trying to figure out how this occurred, but had no idea how in the world this happened. I couldn't understand how she hadn't been complaining about the pain of the fracture, but it was all cleared up when he told me that she had enough weed in her system to supply three people for two days. I was furious, but it's not like I could yell or scream at her. She was soaring over another place right now, and I didn't have the energy nor the will to waste my time and bitch her out while she was drugged. It would have been pointless._

_But I did call her out on it the next day. I told her straight up that I would not have her doing drugs under my roof, and I wouldn't tolerate it even more so because she had a living being forming inside of her. She shrugged me off, but I was stern._

_I wish I could run away sometimes, and that while I was gone, somehow, things would clear themselves up in a supernatural way, so that when I came back, I wouldn't have to worry about everyone and fix their problems as well as mine._

_Well, on the bright side, the Spring social is coming up. That's not really a bright side, but Alice is forcing me to go shopping with her and attend the dance. She told me she'd lend me Jazz for the night, but I declined. I said you'd be totally jealous and would have to have a duel with Jasper. Haha, the idea is quite the comedy, but she reminded me that if you challenged Jasper to a duel, you'd have to come home and fight him. She told me she's hide jasper forever just so you would stay. Cute little Pixie, eh? She also forced me to go to prom, which I have no intention on going to. But, since I must go, and you'll be here during that time (knock on wood), I was hoping maybe you would be my date? That would make a memory that would never lose its bright hues, loud music, and soft touches._

_Well, it's unfair to keep you in the depressed mode I've created, so I'll finish off by sending you a kiss. I put in some pictures of the trip (you know, the best ones) and some of me and the girls. I must warn you, I demand some in return. I've been seeing your face as it was a while ago, but I'd really like to see it as it is now._

_Lots of hugs, as you can always expect._

_From my love to yours,  
Bella_

* * *

**A/N: I am tremendously, enormously, completely, and fully sorry for not being around for so long. I know you lovelies are probably thinking I ditched you, but I've had a couple of additions to my life in the last couple of days that have kept me away. Thanks so much for reading and loving, and I'll try to keep you posted on this as soon as I can.**

**Also, sorry for any typos; I tried to do this so that I could update fast, and I currently don't have Microsoft Word, or Firefox, that corrects spelling. My hard drive is currently being fondled by a techie friend, so I don't have that either. -sigh- I'm such a hot mess right now!**

**I appreciate you all, and thanks to you for the support!**

**Always yours,  
R Vorenus**


	25. I Would Never Forgive

_Dear Bella,_

_I'm so sorry to hear that about Renee and the child. I think your best option right now is to have her under some serious supervision, or keep her around Alice's or Rose's parents, or someone that can watch over her that you trust. At this point, I think surveillance is what she needs, 24/7. You won't be able to do it all the time, so I suggest take all the harmful things in your house and hide them in some place with a lock. That's the surefire way that she won't do something utterly stupid. _

_Things here are alright, I guess. We're all working extra hard so that we can keep the security of our base tip-top. We can't afford a little mistake, because that may cause hundreds of lives, like the ones that were lost yesterday in a base for the U.S. Army in Baghdad. I sometimes this about how nasty this war is, but I forget that there's another one not too far away, and that we are losing men and women there as well. How selfish of me, to think only of myself and those around me, and forget that there is never-ending strife on the grounds of Iraq, too. We tightened up everything, keeping those who belong outside very far away and those who belong inside very guarded. We haven't let any messengers or double agents into our grounds, even. All the information coming in has been arranged to be discussed in remote locations that only few people know of._

_With every day that passes, I can't help but think that I'm one day closer to seeing you. I'm looking forward to it like you have no idea, and I was actually planning to be audacious and ask if I could take you to prom, but of course, you beat me to it. I would be honored to go as your date, and I would like to ask you now, as a formality more than anything else, if you would do me another great honor… which is, in other words… if I may simplify things… (Ok, I'll stop stalling)Would you sort of be my… uh… girlfriend? We have this really deep connection, and I know we both feel the same way, but I need to make sure that you want to do this the serious way. I mean, I don't mind it if you don't want a label, I was just looking to affirm our state of being. _

_Well, anyway, I have to scold you on something, very briefly. You have to stop being so beautiful. It's getting to the point where guys here have tried to steal my memory box and open it to see the pictures of us I keep inside. The guys went crazy when I showed them our DC pictures, and I was an envied man. But now they won't stop talking about you, and making references. I think I liked it better when everyone thought that I was faking this relationship and believed I made up all this talk about a "Bella girl". Well, it's more like Bella woman, but in the end you're still __my__ Bella, so it doesn't really matter what I call you. I miss you, love, and I never forget to look at your gift every night before I go to bed, when the opportunity arises for me to sleep. I don't mean to sound schizophrenic, but I hear you sometimes. When I'm not holding a gun. When I'm not jumping over mines in training. When I'm not dodging explosions. When I sit under the large tree outside base and take a break from patrolling, the silence whispers your words into my mind. Your love hums to the beat of my heart, and it drums deep in my chest when I see the envelope addressed to me. _

_I sent you some pictures with the friends, and I'm getting a new tattoo, but that picture will come later on, if you behave._

_Kisses to my sweetie,_

_Edward_

I sat in the car, looking over the pictures he sent. He looked thinner than he had when we were last together, and his eyes weren't quite the same either. I guess Emmett was wrong when he said that he looked happier these days. He looked sadder than ever. Maybe it was the pressure of being a higher ranking officer, or maybe it was the fact that now he was in the hot zone. He had been in bomb training and obviously wasn't taking it well. Hell, he wasn't taking it well, but I was taking it worse.

I got out of the car and went into the house, hoping Renee was asleep. Or watching TV, or just doing something that wasn't putting the child in danger. I walked in and everything was quiet, so I assumed she was in her room, or making herself something to eat in the kitchen. I hoped, more than assumed, because at this point, all I could do was hope she wasn't doing something reckless. I walked up to my room and dropped the bags off, shed my sweater on the bed and changed into a pair of sweats and a senior t-shirt along with a pair of converse. I walked down the stairs with my hoodie and car keys in my pocket, ready for my afternoon jog. I walked into the kitchen to pick up my water bottle and saw Renee on the table, a glass in one hand and a bottle of Johnny Walker staring straight at her.

I don't know when or how, but by some force of nature, I snapped. I had enough with her and her careless actions. I dashed to the table. I yanked the bottle in front of her and threw it to the corner. The crash it made and the sound of the liquor left in it splashing everywhere roused her and she turned red, grabbing my arm and pulling on it, attempting to shake me. I ripped it out of her hand and took her glass, breaking it with a clash as I threw that, too. She tried to get up, but she stumbled back into her chair, grabbing onto the table.

"Renee Sheryl Jamsen, what in the name of hell is your problem!" I yelled at her angrily, slamming my hands on the table.

"Let me be Isabella," she snapped back. "You are not my mother, even if you are exactly like her!" she slurred.

My eye twitched at the tone of her voice that was insulting my grandmother's dead peace with disgust. I didn't think twice about pulling my hand back and slapping my palm flat and hard against her cheek. The sound echoed in the empty room and her face snapped to the side. I was breathing heavily, all the anger of 18 years boiling up in my veins and rushing through my body, accompanying the adrenaline. She turned her face slowly to me, her cheek swelling and red, looking like it was throbbing with pain. I was glad she was hurt: she deserved it. She was putting my sister in danger, and I would not stand for that. She could do whatever stupid things she wanted and mess her life up, and try to mess my life up, but I would never forgive her if something happened to this unborn, innocent creature that should have no reason to suffer for her failures as a mother and woman.

"I don't want to see you like this again. If I do, I'm calling Dr. James and you're going to be staying in the hospital for the next 3 months. If that is not clear to you, I will make it clear."

I turned my back to her and practically ran out of the house, slamming the door in the process.

I was so upset, I knew exactly where to go.

* * *

**A/N: Once again, I am a terrible person for leaving you guys! But I'll attempt to make it all better this weekend! Thanks for hanging on there, lovelies! Those of you that have stayed true will never be forgotten by me. Thank you for everything! Thanks for reading, and please tell me what you think about the things going on.**

**Love you,**

**~R Vorenus~**


	26. A Place I Wanted To Go

I sat in front of her clean grey gravestone, glancing at the gladioli I had put to her grave two days ago. I blew the dirt away from the flowers and ran a hand over them. I took them into my lap, sitting crossed-legged in front of the tombstone. I cradled them in my arms, holding them to me. I sighed and looked at them, then at the stone with her name and dedication.

"Hey grams… I'm here again…"

I caressed the petals, softly tracing a petal and focusing on the deep red color of it.

"Mom's being dumb again. After last month, I thought she would have changed, being in critical conditions and all. But, she lied. Just like she had lied all those years to me, she lied again when she promised not to do anything dangerous. I should have expected no more from her, but I thought that for the sake of my child she would at least be true to her words. I never believed anything she told me, nor did I want to, but just for once… for this one time… maybe she would consider thinking about someone but herself."

I put down the flowers and repositioned myself, resting my back against her tombstone, reenacting the position we would sit in when she was in the hospital. She would scoot to the side and I would lie with her on bed, her arm lazily draped around me, reminding me that even if she was in the condition she was in, I still had her.

"I didn't come for this, you know. I don't like coming to you with cumbersome details of a sad and pathetic life. I don't want you to sit up in the other world and hear me, see me, talking about things you wouldn't have liked me to discuss in life. I know you'll always listen to me, regardless of what I'll say, but I don't want to sadden you. These talks will only make you feel bad, and that's the least I want for you. Grams, I love you, and I really really miss you right now."

I took a breath and tried to stop the tears from rolling down my cheek, but it was impossible. They ran freely down the flushed skin and I had no will to wipe them away. The only person I would have no shame pouring my soul to is Grams.

"I know you told me to be strong, regardless of any circumstances, but right now, I'm working overtime on it, and it doesn't seem to be working. I'm trying, I'm trying, I swear to God, I am trying, but it's not doing anything with Renee. I don't think I could do anything else to make her listen to me and get it through her thick head that she can't do the things she used to, now that she has a child on the way. Grams, I need you now more than I have ever during the time you've been gone. If you were here, I'm sure I wouldn't be having these problems."

I started to sob.

"Grams, I need your strength. I need your will. I need to be everything you were. Please, wherever you are, don't leave me. I need you. If you're in a far place, watch me. If you're here on Earth, guide me. I need you so much. I can't do this alone. You were able to, but I can't. Grams, please!"

I started shaking, the tears now drowning the silence of the empty cemetery. I was quiet, but I was shaken. I couldn't stop trembling, my body never experiencing such a feeling of grief before. I had never felt that helpless, that alone, that worthless.

"Grams, please…" I whispered one last time, when I finally found my voice and calmed myself down a bit.

I took deep breaths and closed my eyes, taking the gladioli in my hands again, pressing them into my heart.

I was able to stop crying, and cleaned myself up a bit. I stood up and laid the flowers down where I was sitting. I put a hand on her tombstone and read over the engraving.

_Anyone can give up; it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength._

"I love you, Grams."

I sighed again and went to the flower shop across the street. I bought her some fresh flowers and put them on her grave. I took the old ones and had a long look at them, deciding not to throw them away. I would take them home and put them in my room until they wilted.

Home.

Home wasn't a place I wanted to go to at the moment, so I decided not to. Things needed to seep in and relax before I could go back. I went to the car and retrieved my schoolbag. I took out the paper and pen that would calm me down, and looked into the distance.

* * *

**A/N: Another sad bit, but it will get better. Promise! ^_^ Thanks for reading and telling me what you think of it. I love you all!**

**Lovingly,  
~R Vorenus~**


	27. Somewhere Near the Beach

_Dear Edward,_

_You're so silly. I thought that was something you don't even have to ask. I would never be your girlfriend, duh. Haha, you know I'm just kidding, love. Of course I would. I've been thinking a lot lately about you. (As if I didn't do that normally, haha) I've actually considered renting an apartment in Texas for the time you'll spend here. Of course, I would have to bring the little one along with me, but I know you won't mind, and neither will she. I don't think there will be a great expense in renting a little something for two months, and Alice and Rose can always come to my house and stay in it while I'm gone. It seemed like something I should consider, so I wanted to ask you to see if you agreed. That way, we'd be more comfortable, and you wouldn't have to be jumping on and off planes every other week. I've heard it's very nice over there. Hot in the summer, but very nice. Jazzy's sister lives there, and his parents were from there before they moved with him to Washington. _

_I must let you know now, before you make any other plans, that I intend on renting somewhere near the beach. I've seen the cold waters of the Atlantic coastline too many times and haven't been able to at least put my feet in because of the icy chill it would give me. Make sure to pack some shorts, too, haha, I'll be sure to buy a bikini before the time comes, and stock up on sunscreen and tanning lotions. I've heard the beaches down South are something to witness at least once for a summer vacation. I can't wait for the summer to come. Not just because you'll be here, but because the sun will finally come out again and I'll be able to sit by the harbor and relax in the warmth of the sunset that slowly descends upon late summer days. _

_Maybe I should stop daydreaming before my boss comes over and yells at me. Yeah, that's a bit of news I forgot to mention: I finally got a job. Even though I have bundles of cash waiting to be spent in the bank thanks to Charlie and the fact that I don't spend money very often on crap, I decided I should start thinking about the future. Yeah, I have enough money to last me for a while, but I just can't stand being home looking out the window anymore. I feel useless since the homeless shelter has a new panel of managers and the orphanage got all of their kids adopted. They still have the babies which I drop by and play with sometimes, but it's never the same. _

_Sometimes I would go and hang out with the kids, talk to them about a whole mess of random teenage or childish things they seemed to be interested in. I'd bring them hidden chocolates and candy, and make them cards for their birthdays. I remember this one time when it was Daron's, the oldest boy's, birthday and we gave him a super-surprise party. I talked to Madame Lacinot and Mr. Hermeyer, the owners of the orphanage and the ones in charge of taking care of the kids there. Mr. Hermeyer, who let me call him Herbie affectionately, was completely down for the idea of giving Daron a party. I usually arranged things and Alice, Jasper and Rose came by for the little parties of the younger ones, like Stefie's 5th, or Bennie's 11th. But I knew this was the biggest and most important celebration for the time being, because it was Daron's 18th birthday._

_He was finally legally allowed to start a new life for himself and become an independent person. I was so happy about that, I was willing to do whatever it took to celebrate his passage into the legitimate world. Daron is an amazing kid. He'd go to school and work 2 jobs just so he could have a little extra to give his brothers and sisters, as he called all the other kids. He was sort of like the dad, mainly because he was so caring and focused on making everyone's life easier and better. But he didn't think about himself much, and that was something that broke my heart every time I went up to his room and stayed a while to talk about life, school, the future, whatever. _

_The walls were bare, the room was sparsely furnished; D, as I called him, had a small wooden desk on the far corner next to the window with an old metal chair pulled up onto it. His backpack was somewhere on the corner and his textbooks were piling up on the table. His bed was hard and small, resting in the corner, with a Star Wars comforter on it that we had bought Sammy, one of the younger boys who had already been adopted. He took it as a hand-me-down and I was sure that he wouldn't be covering himself with anything if it wasn't for the fact that Herbie made him take it. _

_D never went out with anyone. He had no actual known friends in school, just me and his brothers and sisters. He never had a girlfriend. He never talked to any girls. We all knew there was something about him he was trying to hide, but I never addressed it in depth because I knew he would be uncomfortable or scared to talk about it. I let him know that he would always be my favorite brother, and that I would back him up all the way with whatever decisions he made in his life, and with whomever he became. I tried hinting things to him, and I knew caught on, but he never fully told me that he was gay. I was proud of him when he brought his friend Paul to my house on one of his latest visits. _

_So, Alice went to the Party Central store across the street from her house and picked up everything. All the balloons she could get a hold of, all the little decorative craps she could buy. We skipped school that day so we could decorate everything and put little goodie bags for the kids in hidden places. Rose went to get him a present and I prepared mine. I make a playlist of the best music I knew he'd enjoy at his party and put my surround-sound hook-up into the trunk of my car. We got there half an hour before he got home from school and let the kids in on the secret. _

_It was great. Jasper came back with tons of junk food and Chinese take-out and we set the final details up. Long story short, D cried. He came home and we all jumped out at him like crazy people. I jumped on him first and put a ridiculous-looking hat on his head that said "BIRTHDAY BOY HERE!" He was stunned into silence for a couple of minutes as Jazz played "Go shawty, iz your birthday, We gonna party like iz your birthday….." and everyone came to hug him and give him their best wishes. Alice, Rose, and Jazz handed him their presents and I waited till everyone had had a chance to talk to him and shower him with their smiles. _

_I took him to a corner and handed him my present, in an envelope. He opened it and sighed looking back at me and pushing it against me. He said he couldn't take it, that there would be no way in hell he would accept it from me. I told him I'd be very mad at him if he didn't, and that it really wasn't a big deal. Sure, I passed up on Disturbed concert tickets, but it meant a lot to me that I was helping him out, The check was written out to him and it wasn't that much, but it would at least help him buy a car or pay part of tuition. _

_In the end, he took it and how he's doing great at NYU majoring in cinematography. All's well ends well, huh?_

_All in all, I think it's kind of funny how I don't recognize any of my legitimate blood-related siblings to be that important to me till this point. These boys and girls grew on me so much; I promised that I would take any in if they weren't adopted before the time that I graduated high school. I really wanted to take all of them in, but I couldn't, obviously. They all promised to write to me if they got sent off to far away places and keep me updated with emails and pictures. _

_Ah, the way things change. They're all practically grown up now, even though it's been a couple of months since I haven't seen most of them. I guess time makes people seem to change quicker than they actually do, because you don't get to see them often and notice the little details when you actually do get the chance to see them again. _

_I have to get back to photocopying cases and archiving things at the Ugandan embassy. _

_I love you like always,  
Bella_

I looked over at Emmett, sitting in the corner rolled up into a little ball, his eyes making him look like an eager 5-year-old girl who's about to be dressed in princess clothes to go to Disney World. I chuckled a little and shook my head. He had his nose stuck in some bright pink paper that I could smell from over here. A sweet cotton candy smell drifted over to me and I choked a little, not knowing how Emmett could take the stench from where he was.

"Bro, that's nasty… wash that paper!" I yelled over my shoulder, unable to fully move because Robert was busily working on my chest.

"Shut the hell up, Edward! My baby Rosie smells just like this!"

"Then she needs to get perfume that doesn't make her smell like a cheap whore…" I bit my lip, trying not to laugh, because I knew he would stalk up to me and try to rip my head right off my neck. He did as I thought and stopped just as Rob grumbled "Hey, can't you see I'm workin' here?"

Emmett glared at me and plopped down in the spot right next to me, the air suddenly becoming heavier with that sugar smell.

"Oh, Rosie. She's so perfect," Emmett sighed and looked dreamily at the opposite wall.

I arched an eyebrow at him and looked at Rob, laughing with him as he added some color to the black outline he had inked onto my chest.

"Shit, I damn well hope I don't go around looking like that…" I said, shaking my head and trying not to move too much so I didn't bother Rob.

"Na, you're worse," he said as he blew a cloud of smoke behind him.

I chuckled again and looked over at Em, who looked like he was a fat kid that had just been granted a year's worth of tickets to go into Willy Wonka's factory. I thought it was hilarious, but I couldn't judge, because shit, Bella had me wrapped around her little finger, too.

I decided to stop bothering Em, since he was the one that decided to come with me to get my next tattoo. We didn't have to go out patrolling today so I was planning on getting the tatt done as soon as possible. He was the one who designed it, too, so I shouldn't be hating his love life either, haha.

I folded Bella's letter back into the envelope and took out the picture she had sent me this week. It was of her and who I assumed was Daron, and another really flamboyant looking guy on her side. Even though they were gay, I was extremely jealous that they were able to be next to her. I wished my arm was Daron's, lazily draped over Bella's shoulders, and the other guy's, who had his arms around her waist in a hug. They had no idea what it would mean to me to be able to even slightly touch her. I begged just to grave my fingers across her cheek, just to play with her fingers and draw imaginary circles on her palm.

I was extremely happy that things were starting to look better for Bella. She was going through the toughest moment of her life, I was sure, with all the problems concerning Renee. I wanted to bet here with her to let her know I was willing to help her. More than anything, I wanted to be by her side, urging her on and cheering her up. I couldn't think about the many tears she surely shed these past weeks with the baby situation. Bella really loved this unborn child like a mother, and she seemed to care about it more than she cared about herself. Selfless Bella, why am I not surprised about it?

But, if she wasn't doing anything for herself, I wanted to do something for her. I couldn't stand the thought that she would be down. Picturing Bella doing anything but smiling just tore me apart. She was so beautiful, so full of life when she grinned, and even when she gave one of those small smiles. They all said "I love you". Even if it wasn't to me, it was to life, to happiness, to freedom, to change, to everyone.

I sighed, putting myself together and resting my head back against the large chair I was sitting on.

"Starting to hurt yet?" Rob asked.

"It's been hurting…" I said, looking out into the distance.

"I meant the tattoo, Cullen, not the woman," he said with a small smile.

I looked back at him and flashed a brief smile, then looked at the floor.

Four months, Bella love. Just hold on four months for me.

* * *

**A/N: Well, this is the next one! Hope you liked it.**

**For updates and teasers to the next chapter, check out my new blog **

** rvorenus . blogspot (DON'T FORGET TO DELETE THE SPACES)**

**and simply go to the tabs that say "Learning To Spell Love – Teasers" and "Learning To Spell Love – Tattoo" for pictures of the tatts and what Eddie and Bells could look like. If that's too much work, just go to my page here at FanFiction and click on my Homepage link that will lead you there.**

**Thanks for reading, please show some love!**

**Yours,  
~R Vorenus~**


	28. Daydreaming about the Sun

_Bella love, _

_Would it be a little messed up that I'm jealous of a gay man? Seeing Daron next to you makes me a little envious, I must admit. I would love to be able to stand next to you, lazily grazing my hand against your shoulder, or wrapping my arms around your waist and pulling you closer to me. I could look into your eyes, being right next to you, and just revel in the feeling of being. Just being; you and I, and the sunset, and the waves washing onto the shore, or toes getting wet, our eyes closing at the warmth. I miss you love, but I'm holding on to what I know will come soon. I can see us now…._

_* We're lying on the sand, taking in the sun that's slowly dying away into the seemingly endless horizon. The reds and oranges and yellows and dark blues of the sky make your skin glimmer, even more than it does in the moonlight. It gives your ivory cheeks a cute little color that you reflect when I brush my fingers against them or say something I mean deeply. Your eyes meet mine, your smile kills me as you look away into the sky, darkening every minute. I outline your jaw, my finger tracing your lips and lightly going over your nose. I bend in your direction and place a small kiss there. There is no pink in the sky anymore, but I see it appear on your cheeks, like the last time, in the harbor. _

_You don't do it often, I know, but I love it when I can make you respond to me like that. You're a strong, independent woman. I'm a strong, self-sufficient man. In your presence, I become a humble boy, looking for love and truth in your soul. You become a curious little girl, wondering if you deserve love. I know what your thoughts are, so I cup your cheek and rub small circles on it with my thumb, thinking love is the one that doesn't deserve you, and neither do I. But yet, you love me._

_And I love you._

_And you know this, and I know that you know it, so I make it even more obvious by leaning down and placing a single, sweet kiss on your lips, lingering there when I realize that I can't pull away from the feeling of you. It overwhelms me, it doesn't let me keep my thoughts straight nor coherently form sentences, so I don't talk. It would ruin the moment I'm sure; I don't want anything to break the spell of it, so I just shut up and stare, hoping you'll understand my lack of verbalization. You do, and you grace me with those beautiful lips, the sides arching upward in such a wonderful form, it reminds me of the little sparkles above us in the darkness._

_I see you. Even if there is barely any light to work with, tonight a waning crescent, you glow with your own light, a sort of light that marks you out from the rest. You shimmer with truth, with life. Your eyes show mw that the life you have within you is calling out for me to be part of it, and for both of our lives to be one, greater, better one together. I pretend that I'm not me, for only the seconds you rest your head against my chest. I'm not the Marine, I'm the Edward that will wake up tomorrow next to you without a care in the world, catching those little breaths right before you yawn and stretch between my arms, opening your eyes slowly and looking up through those gorgeous lashes. _

_I look down at you again, coming back from my reverie, your small fingers trailing down my jaw, making me shiver in the warmth of the night. Your touch reveres me, but I shouldn't be the one that gets all the attention, because you're the one I should be idolatrizing. I'm not a very religious man, as you know, but let me tell you, Bella, I feel like worshipping you, as if you were God. You're my God, the one who was perfectly created to mercifully save me from the world I chose to come into. _

_And as I loose myself briefly in the depths of your caramel pools, otherwise known as those two beautiful eyes, I can't help but reflect the feeling, boring my vivid green orbs into your soul. _

_I think that's one of the things I love the most about you, and I let you know it by leaning into your creamy face and planting a single, quiet, tender kiss on your pouting lips. I love it that I don't have to say anything, yet you know what I mean. I don't have to verbalize the truth, you can sense it through me. You see what I don't in me, and you don't criticize me for those less than lovely qualities I point out in myself. _

_But you spoil me, hahaha, running your long fingers through my hair, trying to comb the unruly locks that won't smooth out, even under your all-powerful touch. Your palm rests against my cheek and I lean into the softness, feeling the moment with closed eyes, the breeze bringing your scent closer to me. Your hand travels down my neck, onto my shoulder and down my chest as your plump pink lips attack my own with the sweetest intentions._

_You absent-mindedly run your fingertips over the right side of my chest, on my peck. Your index and middle fingers glide over the intricate patterns and I feel the colors being burned deep into my skin, the lasting effects of your touch. The yellows, the oranges, the reds, the dark black outline of every figure there inked. You're not used to it yet, so you miss a couple of lines here and there, but you get it right. Your hand moves down, and as it travels to its destination, the first sigh of the night escapes my lips… *_

_I hope you got a good look at what you do to me. These are the things I spend my days and nights and afternoons and every other moment in between thinking about. Whenever I don't have to be dodging bodies or running under barbed wire, or strategizing or doing patrol. Well, who am I kidding? I always think about you during patrol. I'm out in the dark night, the cold air whipping around me, the stars bright, calling me to pay attention to them rather than be daydreaming about the sun a million miles away. _

_But the sun is not a million miles away; actually, she's right here with me. My heart beats to the rhythm of her intense shine, and I carry on knowing each day I'm getting closer and closer to her. I'll be feeling her heat and warmth sooner than I can hope for._

_See you in a heartbeat, love,  
Edward_

I closed my eyes and finished off the scenario Edward proposed in his letter. I opened a window and let the fresh, cold air drift inside the room. I leaned over the windowsill, kneeling on the cushions I had at the window seat, holding onto the edges. I stuck me head out and looked at the sky. I took in a deep breath and smiled widely, knowing it would be soon, as he had promised.

I came back in after a few minutes and sat against the now closed window. I took the control of my stereo in a hand and a copy of _Psychology: Nineteenth Century and Beyond_ along with a blue highlighter. I turned on the music and put it the loudest it could go. It wouldn't bother the neighbors since my room was soundproof, so why not? I needed some music so that I could focus on my Ch 28 studying and analysis. I needed to know all the major theories of the 1900s and the applications to today, as well as the rebuttals and weaknesses found in each.

I wrapped a blanket around myself and huddled in the window seat, bobbing my head to the beats of David Guetta and highlighting furiously until the words started slipping through my eyelids and pooling at my pupils in a queue attempting to come into my mind and become processed. By the time I realized I couldn't study any longer, the poignant pain in my neck let me know I fell asleep in an awkward position against the wall and the window. The highlighter had slipped into my carpet and the book was turned over with pages in disarray, folded coping with the fall from my lap. My feet were icy as I woke up to go back into bed and tuck myself in for the remaining 3 hours of the night until tomorrow's school day.

The stereo was still blaring and this time it was happy little tunes. I turned off the lights and set the music to sleep in 15 minutes. I knew I'd knock out before that, but I wanted to make sure that I'd listen to the last lines of the song playing…

_I'd like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly  
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep  
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams_

This semi-consciously registered somewhere in my mind and put me at ease, my body shutting off second later.

* * *

**A/N: Well, here's another sweet little bit. I'm leaving Edward and Bella's beach day to the imagination of my more mature readers. I know you want me to make a spin-off of OneShot, but you'll have to show me how much you want it! Like Edward, I like to see that I'm being loved. All I'm asking for is 10.. Just the 1-0.**

**But you know I love you for reading! I love the support you've given me thus far. Now, all you need to do to make Edward happy is click the little button down bellow… He'll send you a sexy Marine kiss from Afghanistan if you do!**

**Always cheerfully yours,  
~R Vorenus~**


	29. Picture That, Lover Boy

_Dear Edward,_

_Your little daydream messed up my whole week. I got a C in participation in AP Italian Lit because I stayed quiet throughout our class debate over the authors of Mussolini's era and zoned out whenever I was being asked a question. No matter how much I tried to pay attention, take notes, or put in a word, I would always end up finishing our scenario at the beach. You are the worst boyfriend ever, may I add, for leaving me hanging like that. Just pure torture! But you know I can't find it in me to hate you for it, hahaha._

_I am extremely curious as to what you have now tattooed onto your chest. I'm raving over here, wanting to see it, hahaha. You tease me too much, why don't you just tell me what it is? Well, never mind that question, because I can answer it for myself: because you want to show me rather than tell me. Yeah, I remember you saying that a lot when you were here. And I am definitely not complaining. But, I really want to know what it is. I think I would be very upset if you tattooed Barney on your peck and said it reminded you of me. I would be just a little offended. Not that there's anything wrong with Barney, 'cause I'll surely have to be watching it soon when the little one comes into the world, but I rather not be associated with a big purple pedophile. _

_Hahaha, I think Emmett would take care of that though, killing you before you could get it inked on. Ah, I miss him, too. Rose told me he proposed to her over a letter, but I don't really know whether to think he's really playing a big joke on her, or if he has intentions of actually marrying her. Either way, I think the two are an insane pair, and I hope the best comes for them. Just let Em know that if it is an actual joke and Rose is taking it for real, I will personally go over there and kick his sorry ass. Just putting that out there, haha._

_You know, sometimes I wish that letters could hold videos, or that pictures could move like in Harry Potter. It's so hard to write without wanting to put "insert smile here" after every sentence, or "chuckle while writing". It would be amazing if that could happen, because then I'd be able to see you every time you write, and you could see my every smile or stupid smirk as I respond to what you say. I also wish letters could send holograms. I really wouldn't mind seeing you life-sized before me every time I opened an envelope. I also wouldn't mind hearing your voice, and just closing my eyes when you say "Bella," like it's the sweetest thing you've ever savored. I wish it would send smells too, because I had to wash my sheets and you no longer lay on my pillows. _

_If letters could send hugs, or kisses, or just momentary physical connections, I would love that, too. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night feeling something next to me, something I've draped my arm over and I'm lying on. For a split second, in the unawareness of sleep, I think it's your chest I'm laying my head on, your body I've pulled closer to mine. But when those seconds quickly fizz out, I realize it's just the pillow, and I'm alone in my bed._

_I think I got used to your strong arms around my waist too quickly, and your hand in mine. _

_My fingers miss you, sometimes. They ask me where you went and I don't really know how to answer them, so I just shrug and look away from them, holding my pen a little firmer and tricking them into thinking its your fingers filling the gap between mine. _

_My back wants to know where your hands are, where your massive, all-consuming hugs have gone to. My gladioli are missing the tips of your fingers and their light traces that would wake me up. _

_My lips demand to have their needs met, and are incessantly questioning where yours are hiding. I bite down on the bottom one, muffling its pleas for your teeth to nibble on it. _

_My heart doesn't ask questions, though. It knows where yours is, and it doesn't question it. It misses the beat of yours against its as our chests lay, our breathing coming easy as our dreams morphed into reality and we lay in bed, embraced and asleep. _

_I'll leave you to picture that, lover boy._

_As always, with love,  
Bella_

I smiled a little as I put in a picture of Rose, Alice, and I at the last SOTW fund raiser, sorting out a mountain of coloring books, markers, picture books, color pencils, and paints. I closed the envelope and stretched over to the floor, where my phone had fallen and I had neglected to pick it up.

The loud projection of 'Forgotten' by Linkin Park came from the floor, so I apprehensively picked it up. I looked the screen over, checking the name that appeared. I half-smirked, seeing that it was Alice. I thought about my next action carefully: should I pretend to be asleep or away, or should I pick up the phone? I decided on the latter, because I knew that I would get an annoying pixie calling me over and over and over again until I got sick and tired and picked up. When it came to shopping, Alice didn't care if I didn't want to go, or didn't feel up for it. She said shopping makes everything better and cheers everyone up.

Of course, I always ended up wanting to kill her, or kill myself. A suicide-murder was the normal side-effect to going shopping with the little one.

"Hey short stuff," I chimed into the phone.

"Someone seems very excited to come looking for prom attire with me!" she sang.

I rolled my eyes and tried as hard as I could not to make an 'ugh' noise.

"Hey, don't take all the credit, I just finished sending out the mail," I said, my eyebrows shooting up with happiness as I got out of my computer chair and dug through my closet for a pair of comfortable boots and a coat.

I knew going shopping with Alice was going to be a long and painful task, so I wanted to make sure I could at least be physically prepared for the strenuous task at hand. We were sure to get out of the mall with hundreds of accessories and make up, three different dresses and almost four times the number of shoes.

I groaned a little as Al chirped away on the phone, talking quickly and happily about all her plans and all the ideas she had for dresses. I forgot that nodding wouldn't be perceived on the other side of the line, so I interjected with a "mhmmm" and a "yeah, I know" or an "ooooh, I like that" here and there to let her know I was alive.

I got fully dressed and picked up my keys and the letter I had just written. I trodded down the stairs and saw Renee asleep on the couch with a bowl of carrots on her side, her hand limply reaching for them while an episode of Jerry Springer graced the TV. I shook my head and wrote a quick note on the fridge:

_Be back later, shopping with Alice. Don't do anything stupid. I'll know._

I told Ali I was going to pass by the post office before picking her up, so she gave me a little rant about how I don't care about her anymore since I got with Edward, and how she's on the back burner, and blah blah freaking blah.

I laughed at her and quickly sent my love to my Marine.

I picked Alice up and scoffed at her when I saw the stack of papers she was carrying.

"What?" she asked, putting her seat belt on as I drove away, in the direction of the DCUSA. Alice looked so excited flipping through the endless amount of outfits she had put together and all the Style Network tips to the best prom look. Elle, Vogue, all that crap and more.

She really was obsessed. Here I thought I was just exaggerating it.

She bounced in her seat as I pulled into the parking space closest to the entrance, wanting to know well where I was so that I could quickly make an escape if Alice went too psycho on me. Where was Rose when I needed her?

I cringed as Ali pulled me into the great mall and steered me into our first destination.

Dammit, I cannot believe I agreed to this.

* * *

**A/N: Well, there you have it cuties. Thanks for all the love on the last chapter, and I want to welcome our newest bb and member into the LTSL family, **_trixietraci_**, love you gal! Hope you liked this one and just a heads up – next chappie will be a duo – BPOV on dress hunting and EPOV on bomb disarming and strategizing. **

**You know Eddie loves it when you tell him how much you love him in this fic. Come on, give him some sugar!**

**Love you all dearly,  
~R Vorenus~**


	30. Yours Will Come Someday

"Hey hot stuff!" I heard a man hollering from outside. I turned my head over to the open doors of Forever XXI and sure enough, there came Rose walking in, one eyebrow arched and a small grimace on her face.

"Well, you have fans," Alice chirped happily hidden behind some rack containing very sparkly and very short dresses. I was over at the rack immediately next to the door, making sure I had a quick getaway if I had to make a run for it. I tried to look mildly interested in the glimmered up fluorescent ski jackets that were hanging there, but Alice saw right through my little act.

"You know, we're shopping for dresses, B… not winter equipment for the Alps." She raised her eyebrows at me and dragged me by the arm over to where she was inspecting a little black dress that put "little" to shame with its size. Ali pulled it out and shoved it in front of me, looking it over, probably imagining the accessories and shoes along with the make-up and hair style that she would force me into.

"Alice, this doesn't even cover my ass."

She shrugged, "It happens."

I blinked at her and shook my head trying to let her realize what she just said made no sense at all.

She dragged me with her to the next set of dresses and I sighed in defeat, my shoulders slumping, and my ass hitting the floor as I sat down in the middle of the store, arms crossed over my chest, huffing, like a little kid having a fit.

"Isabella Marie Swan, if you don't want me to call you out on the speaker phone in a store packed with people we know and embarrass the living hell out of you, I suggest you get up right now and behave."

I scowled and stomped off after her to the dressing room. Rose was holding a good 30 pieces, of course it looked like only 10 because they were all so short and tiny.

"Here's 15 for you and 15 for me." She grinned. Ali was holding a good 20-something dresses, and I rolled my eyes as she kissed the girl working on the dressers hello and pranced in to a dressing room with what I was sure was an illegal number of items.

Rose threw the dresses on my and set herself up in the fitting room next to mine, closing the large drape and I heard her clothes rustling to the floor.

Dammit. I could pretend to have tried them on and just sit here in the corner and text Jake or someone meanwhile, but I knew Alice would come barging in any minute wanting to see me try all the clothes on.

I pulled off all my layers and squeezed into a leather-type hooker dress with zippers everywhere that Alice had picked out. I cringed as I tried to zip up the chestal area and realized it was so short, my tallness made it look even shorter. Alice opened the curtain as I was trying to zip the dress up and she smiled, then tilted her head.

"Hmm, not for prom, but I think I'll buy that for you for your next reunion with Marine Boy."

I glared at her and threw my pants at her, but she dodges away before I could do any real damage. I closed the drape back over to where it concealed me inside the room and with much difficulty removed the tight dress. I felt air hit my lungs again and relished in the fact that I could finally breathe once more.

I hung the dress on the opposite side, on the "no" pile, which would have all the dresses by the time I was done. The next dress I tried on was a very purple and very bright short thing that I didn't know how to put on. It was strapless, so I the bottom and the top looked the same to me. It had pockets, but they were equidistant from the hem and the top since the dress was so short. I scratched my head and looked for the label, finally finding what way was up.

I slipped it on and made a little "ugh" noise when I saw how little it actually was. It barely covered my ass and my boobs were popping out from the top of it. Was Alice's plan to turn me into a hooker? I thought so at this point.

"Come out, Bella!"

I heard Rose yell from outside. See? She was a little more prudent, not ripping open my curtain. I didn't want to go outside, but it was all girls anyway, so it didn't matter.

I dragged my feet and tugged on the hem of the dress, trying to putt it down. Ali slapped my hand away and smiled, mumbling something about "black pair of heels with… and mascara from… jealous girls like Jessica… man would die…"

I rolled my eyes at her and threw the dress into the "no" pile, too. I tried on another 10 dresses and did my best to not punch Ali in the face every time I went outside and showed her the dresses. Her endless mumbling of planning was driving me insane.

I tried the rest of the dresses on and threw them at Rose when she came out of her dressing room.

"You picked them out, you carry them back," I said looking pointedly at her before she could make some bitchy comment. She closed her mouth and glared at me, taking the dresses and putting them on the counter for the girl who could surely not hold them all. Rose bought three of the dresses and by the time we made it out of the store, we saw Alice in the Aldo store with six bags and purchasing two bags worth of shoes.

The girl was crazy. I don't know how she would have lived if she was poor. She would probably be miserable because she wouldn't be able to buy 300 pairs of everything when she went out.

We made our way through a good dozen more stores before lunch and I plopped down on the table with my burrito and Sprite, no shopping bags, just my big NYC purse/bag that could fit a baby, where I carried everything important.

Ali and Rose looked at me a little sickened at the fact that I was swallowing my food whole, and I just shrugged at them, washing down the beans and sour cream.

"What? You've never seen a hungry girl eat before?"

"Bella, I've seen pigs eat before… and they're neater."

"Shut up, Alice."

She wrinkled her nose and ate her salad as we made small talk about the new projects for next year, when we were in college. There were many ideas, but not enough solidified so that we could start working on them already.

I let out a disgruntled noise when Alice brought up the fact that AP exams were coming all too soon for my liking. We were already in the end of March, and April was known as Hell Month. We had to review everything we'd done for 8 classes to be tested out of.

We finished out lunch and agreed that we'd do some massive partying during Spring Break so that we could at least get through Hell Month with some remembrance of a good time previously.

And on we went to look for more dresses… I was getting tired of this, and it was only about 1 PM on a Saturday afternoon. I vaguely wondered what Edward was doing across the world.

Today was my first day with the newbies. It was my duty to start the basic training for the new troops that had been shipped in. Emmett and I were alternating every two weeks with the training and the basic bomb building/disarming techniques. Em had taken care of the background knowledge of explosives and arms, and told me he was beyond disappointed with the lack of everything of these new kids.

I was a extremely pissed, to be honest, because it didn't occur to my goddamn mind that the government would be that damn stupid to send unprepared Marines and soldiers to a war where the one who was better equipped was the one who knew more. I wanted to pound in whosever's skull the brain who thought of this resided in. I had never seen a stupider command in my life… and crap, I had seen and done some pretty damn stupid ones.

Dumbasses.

That's all I had to say about these guys. Not just because of the fact that they were unable to walk in a straight damn line or follow directions the minute they were demanded of them, but they couldn't even stand straight.

I made a vow to find the son of a bitch that brought these guys over here. Not only was I working hard to stay effing alive, but now I had the added duty to turn these little boys into men in less than 3 months. I really wanted to go back to law school at this point.

I called everyone to attention and shut them up with a loud bang of my fist on the filing cabinets they had set up outside for a clean-up of the unit. One of the sissies jumped a little and there was another guy at the end of the third line that looked like he was about to cry.

I was really debating whether I should make them run 10 miles and then come back to do 5 sets of 50 push-ups in under 10 minutes, just to screw with them and give them a hard time. These guys needed to be burned in the fire of our base and molded into what we wanted them to be in a very short time period. I wasn't playing games or going easy on them, because this was some serious training we had here.

Em told me that four groups died in the simulation bomb explosion and that three others blew up the bombs they were disarming.

Once they were all quiet and looking forward at me, I announced the plan for today, and let them know, just as an extra bit, that I would demand extra work from any of those that I saw weren't fit. My punishment consisted in barbed wire training, bomb hopping, hummer flipping, and ammo/arm confiscations.

I let them know we'd start out by jogging 5 miles, then, we'd run half a dozen times around the perimeter of our area of the base (which was roughly 3 miles), then, they'd have to learn dodging and sprinting techniques, as well as what I liked to call the rolling backward technique.

We'd do that for the first quarter of the day, then we'd go on to target practice with each other, using paintballs that were more painful than get shot by a real bullet cause damn they left some nasty swelling bruises. Those who got shot would have to clean all the guns and rifles we had in the unit, then spend an extra 24 hours awake, training how to dodge bullets.

Even though shooting wasn't as important in this type of war we were in, there were always those spontaneous Taliban groups that would start shooting at our American troops, instead of using the generic bombs, because they weren't supplied enough by their leaders.

It is critical for these guys to be in good physical shape, so I'd have them doing weights and push-ups with me and Emmett sitting on their backs, with one hand, and even a couple of fingertip ones for the hell of it. They needed to be able to keep strong through physical labor they had not been used to at home. The training was slacking a little comparing to the extremely important task at hand.

The last quarter of the day would be dedicated to emotional testing and will breaking. I was hell-bent on breaking each and every one of these wankers into pieces and rebuilding them into what I wanted them to become. Shoot first and ask later didn't fly with me, and neither did following orders blindly and stupidly without thinking. I was hardcore with these types of things, but I also made sure these men and women knew what to do in the case that they were out in the battlefield and their commanders were bombed to shreds.

The day looked long and the task painfully tedious, so cracked my neck, my knuckles, wrists, and ankles, something I did before training to help me relax somehow and ready myself.

I yelled out the order to commence and started jogging along with them, at a lower speed so that I could watch them all. Besides, if I jogged at my normal speed, these little bitches would fall miles behind. Mind you, just jogging.

Somewhere along the laps my mind drifted away from counting steps and calling out to the guys that were doing it all wrong for later training. I thought to Bella, wanting to know where she was, and what she was doing. I missed her terribly, and her last letter had really done a number on me. Thinking that she wanted to see my face every time that I sent her a letter, and feel me, just made me want to be with her even more.

I couldn't wait till July came along, and I could feel her in my arms again. That beat running in the scorching sun and snapping at other men any day. I sighed a small breath and squeezed my eyes shut for an instant, thinking back at the image of us on the beach.

I just had to hang on and live through the days… It would be over soon.

"Alice… I think… I think I found _the one_." I said dramatically from behind the closed door of my fitting room.

"Bella… stop mocking me and get out here right now!"

I peeked my face through and grinned. I was kidding when I made the other comment, but I really did find the dress that was "made for me" as the pixie always said.

I slowly parted the curtain and walked out, turning toward the triple-angled mirror that let me see myself at all sides. I heard Alice gasp and turned my head to look at her. I smiled and she blinked at me, whispering an almost inaudible "wow".

I turned back and took a moment to appreciate the beautiful material over my skin. I swept my eyes over my image in the mirror and smirked a little. It looked amazing on me. I wasn't one to have a huge ego, and I never had any pride in my physique, but I couldn't deny this dress was actually made for me. It looked like someone had sketched my body and above it snugged this beautiful gown, making every curve run with the satiny white of the dress.

I studied it in detail, memorizing every bit of it to try to find an imperfection and to point out a fault, but I couldn't find any. They were all covered up by the gown and I was shocked to say I didn't have on bad thing to comment about it.

It started with a halter top, the straps thin and jeweled with fake little diamonds, a silver clasp on the back of my neck that held the top in place discreetly. The straps opened at my chest, forming a v-neckline that dipped low and showed a considerable amount of cleavage, the material that covered the breastal area was pleated/ruffled just the right amount to accentuate the size of that area and make it look perfect. Right under it laid another four lines of small fake diamonds across to my sides, about half an inch of space between them. They shone brightly and called attention to that area of my chest and my face.

The rest of the dress was a long and snug draping of my lower body with a smooth and shiny fabric, outlining my thighs and flowing all the way to the floor, where there was a good 5 or 6 inches left of the dress around me.

I turned around and looked at the back of it, smiling as I saw the bright colors of my gladioli contrasting with the clean, white glimmer of the dress. It was so low-cut in the back that it started briefly above my lower back and made a great deal of showing off the junk in the trunk that I had. The four glimmering strands from the front came to the back and rested just under the stem of the flowers and hugged the skin on my back comfortably, securing the dress in place. Where the dress started again, there was another strand of shining stones and it stemmed from the sides of the dress, framing my lower back and adding a final finishing touch to the dress.

It was simple, which definitely suited my personality, yet it had those little shining touches that made it stand out. It was white, nothing out of the ordinary, and it made me feel like a goddess when I wore it. It felt different from my usual skin, and I wasn't really used to focusing on myself like this, but it was a good type of different.

"You know I don't see why they d—" Rose stopped short as she walked out of her fitting room cubicle and she stared at me, wordlessly. I smiled wide at her and she rushed up to me and hugged me tightly.

"Oh my God, you look amazing, Bella." She breathed at me.

All I could do was blush a little and smile.

The girl behind me who was trying to look at herself in the mirror huffed and stomped away.

Alice gave her the death glare and came up to me, grabbing my hand in her very neon purple satiny dress.

She took my face in both of her hands and looked at me like she was about to cry.

"My little girl's grown up so big, so fast," she said, sniffling, and gave me a big hug.

I hugged her back with the same force as we rocked side to side a little.

"Marine Man's gonna love that," I heard a deep voice say.

"What the hell are you doing in a _woman's_ fitting room Jazz?" Rose said confused.

"Alice hid me in her changing room," he said sheepishly.

We all laughed as we went back to the changing rooms and got dressed normally.

I bought the dress and took it to my car, settling it in my back seat. Alice wanted to go shoe shopping, but I was beat down. It had been a long day, and I really didn't want to go on to every other store in the mall to try on hundreds of pairs of shoes which Alice picked out for me.

"I think I deserve some merit. If I chose the dress, I should be able to pick out the shoes, too." I told her.

She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, frowning.

We decided it was time to eat dinner, and chose a Denny's a couple of blocks away. We had the movies in the mall, so we walked over to dinner and took a break from the shopping.

By the time we were settled in on the comfortable chairs at the theater, I was as exhausted as I had been on the day of the Relay for Breast Cancer. I scooted down in the chair and ate all the sour Skittles at the same time that I could to stay awake. The beginning credits started to role and I idly wondered what Edward was up to right now.

Today was the crappiest training day I had ever experienced. When I called these guys useless, it was a very extreme understatement. I don't even want to dwell on how bad they failed at their tasks. It was so bad… Emmett almost punched one of the redheaded twin guys in the neck…. And I almost kneed him in the man business.

This was the Marine Corps… it wasn't Disney Land and it sure as hell wasn't High School. Maybe all these little boys didn't get the memo, but this was a man's world, and they needed to suck it up and meet the standards of the unit, if not, they were in for one hell of a term. I was willing to push them as much as I possibly could for them to better themselves and at least be half-decent in combat. It wouldn't take them far, but it would at least keep them alive for the time being.

I sat back in my leather chair and watched as Emmett gave his wrist to Rob in the chair immediately next to mine.

"Are you scared, boo-boo?" I joked around with him and he slapped the back of my head as Rob cracked up, refilling the red and black ink.

"Shut up Cullen," he chuckled.

"Do you want me to hold your hand?" I asked, batting my eyelashes exaggeratedly.

"If you weren't so whipped with this Bella lady I'd say you were secretly in love with me, bro."

"Oh, but I am, Emmie!"

Rob and I roared with laughter as He started inking the outline of the rose in black. Em scowled at us and shook his head.

"You're a nut job, Edward."

I shrugged. "Yeah," I laughed a little, "But it's not like it matters to me what you think… Bella loves me like that anyway."

He snorted and shook his head.

"She has your balls in a jar, man."

"Na, my balls are here, intact." But she does hold my heart in a jar, though. "I think you'd know that by now, after I made half the guys do Xtreme Duty Training."

Now it was Em's turn to roar with laughter.

"Damn, that was good."

I shook my head with laughter along with the other guys and sighed, getting up. I left the room and went to mine, where I took a notebook and a pen with me. I came back in to see Rob's face scrunched in concentration and Em's head bobbing to the invisible music in his head.

"You're kidding me, right?" he said, motioning toward my hands.

"It's a time killer," I said, acting like I wasn't about to explode if I didn't write to her. I was on the verge of a anger outburst with all these guys, so I needed some distraction time. I wanted to feel her as I wrote, and picture her reactions to each and every one of my words.

I sighed as I sat back in the chair and angled myself so that Em couldn't read what I was writing.

Rob chuckled a little and shook his head.

"There's nothing worse than a man in love…"

Emmett and I both laughed a little.

All I could say was, "Stop hating, Rob… yours will come someday, too."

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**A/N: Yeah, I've been lost, I know. You can yell at me, you can throw stuff at me, and you can bitch me out all you want, I deserve it! But thanks for reading me anyway ^_^ I love you dearly! I've been reading a lot and not doing much writing, but please bear with me, because **The Workshop** is just something you have to read and not set down until you're done. **

**You lovelies are the next best thing to the Applebee's brownie with vanilla ice cream and caramel drizzled on top. Thanks for the support!**

**As always, you know, I love it when you tell me what you think of my writing. –wink-**

**Yours as always,  
~R Vorenus~**


	31. The Legend of the Koi

**A/N: Edward's and Bella's tattoo pictures on**

www . rvorenus . blogspot . com **just remove the spaces.**

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Exhausted, I left Jazz and Ali cuddling on the couch asleep. It was probably around 2 in the morning when I decided to get up and go home, feeling as if I was somehow interrupting the intimacy between my two friends if I stayed until they woke. I knew how great it felt to turn in bed and find your love wrapping their arms around you, and also just how important those tiny minutes of alone time - just the two of you there - were.

I uncapped the expo marker and erased the funny little message on the small dry erase board that was stamped onto the refrigerator door.

_Went home to check on Renee. Thanks for an amazing dinner and an even more amazing movie night. So sad Rose had to miss it.  
Love ya'll, Bella_

I knew Jazz would smile at my slight mocking of his Southern accent, and Al would freak out if I didn't leave her a message. I locked the door on my way out, trying to be as quiet as I possibly could so I didn't wake them.

I drove home quietly, too tired to turn on the radio or plug in my iPod. All I thought about was taking a nice hot shower and going straight to bed.

I got home and everything was dark; not even the porch lights were turned on. I sighed, partly happy that this meant Renee was sleeping, but partly upset that I was coming home to an empty house. Yeah, my mom lived with me now, but that didn't mean I didn't feel alone. She had never been the quality company type, and honestly, I didn't know why she even called herself my mother when she was never around. All bitterness and remorse aside, I still loved her because as grams told me, she was lost. My job, as it always has been and always will be, is to take in the lost and save them.

Well, this safety mission seems to be a monumental task compared to feeding the kids of Niger and giving first aid kits to tribes in New Caledonia.

But I could do it. Isabella Marie Swan would never let anyone go without a fight.

Speaking of fights and letting people go, my mind wandered idly toward Edward, and a warm plunging feeling in my chest reminded me that his letter was due sometime in these 3 days. I saw that it was nearly two thirty when I came into the house and closed the door softly. I set down my bag and stretched a little, looking at a pile of bills on the coffee table lighted up by the TV. I scowled a lttle at the fact that Renee left it on carelessly, but picked up the stack and turned off _The Real Word_, grimacing at the horrible taste my mother had in television series.

I crawled up the stairs and collapsed on the chair beside my nightstand. I was so tired I couldn't even make it to the bed. I clumsily browsed through the mail, my fingers and eyes thick with sleep, my consciousness slipping away as I blinked hard to try to stay awake at least for my shower.

American Express. Flip. Mortgage. Flip. Barnes and Noble. Flip. Edward Cullen. Flip. Global Awareness Organization. Flip. Homeless Institution of Wash-_wait_... did I just?

I flipped back to the letter before the last two and grinned stupidly once I realized whose it was. I lazily threw the letters onto the nightstand and stayed with Edward's. I threw it on my bed and quickly undressed, throwing the clothes in all directions and jumping into the bathroom. The quicker I showered, the quicker I could go to bed, and the earlier I could wake up tomorrow to read Edward's letter.

_Bella love, _

_You intrigue me. That's a good thing, though. I was reading over your last letter (for the third, fourth, maybe fifth time, I can't remember) and I couldn't help but smile, a little puzzled look on my face. Webcam letters? That's a cute idea but that's why they invented internet, honey. No ones does this old-school letter thing anymore-except for us, that is, but we clearly don't belong in the 21st century. Whenever I picture us together, I don't see us in the middle of a bustling city, amidst the craze of the nation's capital, or the insanity of metropolitan hot spots such as New York or Miami... _

_I can see us, sitting in the warm sand on a quiet spot near the beach, Jacksonville, maybe, the waves crashing against the shore, speaking for us. I see you, draped lazily over a couch, a copy of _Hamlet _or _Night_ at hand, wrapped in a blanket as the Oregon winter comes to a pique. We might as well be sitting at the deck in our backyard among the greenery of the North Carolina forest. We could be lying down, staring at the Northern lights at the tip of the world, somewhere in the extremities of Canada. I would love to hold you as we drifted away to the land of sleep via Bach or Chopin in a humble but comfortable Maine home._

_We could be anywhere, Isabella. Just you and me, and it wouldn't matter if we were in the middle of nowhere, time and space stripped of the world and our consciousness of each other's proximity the only thing left. That's how I see us when I think of us together. We are always in a different place, at a different age, with different hopes and dreams. But we are together, and that's what's important to me. _

_I dreamt of you the other night. I woke up with my mouth dry, my palms clammy, and my forehead damp, the hair over my temples sticking to my face. I sighed, regretting I woke, and tried to go back to bed and relive my dream. You were a soldier when I saw you. You were geared up for the battle of the 300. _

_Crazy thing, isn't it? My Isabella as a Spartan warrior, your delicate skin still radiant and your curves still feminine in their nature. The softness of your face still calling out to my hand so I can feel your cheeks and cup your chin. Your eyes, oh, those were the only ones that stood out among the crowd. They looked beautifully odd on your face, peeking through the armor of your helmet. They were on fire, the look passionate and determined, ready to fight. It was such an incongruency with the soft lines of your nose and cheek bones, the curve of your lips, and your slender form. Those blazing eyes seemed to belong to another, yet I knew that passion within you was your own._

_None of the others seemed to be able to measure to your level, all of them seeming to be a bunch of lost men, following the driven woman that you are. Your shield was larger than you, but you held it effortlessly, protecting you and those beside you with a force that none had ever known. Your daggers are sharpened to cutting perfection, and your body armor is nothing but the layer of sweat that has formed in the heat of battle. Your clothes strapped by leather and crimson so dark, blood looks brilliant against it on the other soldiers. You are untouched, though. There is no blood on you in my dream. You are the leader everyone protects and so have been guarded from any damage._

_You looked exquisite like that... Your inner warrior came out to dress you and show others your strength._

_When I got up to do patrol duty in the empty desert, I thought about a story my mother used to tell Anthony and I when we were kids. It instantly clicked as I though about you, and I smiled knowingly, already plotting something._

_My mom would always lay us down in bed with her on nights that my dad would go stay with our dieing grandfather. She'd snuggle us, one on each side of her, and hug us tightly. I remember feeling the warmth of her motherly love as I settled my small head on the crook of her neck, and closed my eyes, picturing the story she was about to tell us. This was her way of explaining granddad's soon-to-come death, and a way to help us cope with it. So she'd hush us into her and say,_

_"There's an ancient Japanese tale... something I learned in college while I was taking universal culture classes... It's quite incredible, and it's something I've never forgotten."_

_She'd look at me and Anthony, waiting for our undivided attention, her emerald eyes sparkling._

_"There was once a small koi fish, a very persistent little thing he was, though. He wanted more than anything to reach the top of an immense waterfall known as the Rainbow Gate. He struggled to start his journey swimming upstream, but the water crashing against him, and the current pulled him down with every few feet he advanced. He became faint, and tired, as he struggled to swim upward through day and night."_

_I remember her making tired faces and frowning at this part, all of the dramatic act that Anthony and I loved so much when she told us stories._

_"But the one thing he did not become was disillusioned. He didn't rest an instant, just kept swimming roughly up the waterfall. He didn't know how far he'd gotten, nor did he care how much more he had to swim. He persevered and fought his way up the crashing currents. He was becoming stronger and stronger after non-stop swimming for days, and in weeks he felt he needed to push harder. He felt his strength grow and his dreams were now coming before his eyes as he glanced up at the bright sun before him._

_"He surely must be getting to the top, he thought proudly. The current was getting harder and harder to fight against and the white hot glare of the shining sun against the water at the highest point of the waterfall was blinding him. He closed his eyes and moved on forward, fighting against the rush of the wind that whispered he could never reach the top. The murmurs of the water around him telling him that he would never make it, hushed._

_"The little koi fish, once nothing but a weak and hopeful dreamer, had suddenly flared into a bright red, gold, and orange dragon. He was absolutely beautiful. There was a majestic glow to him as he soared into the sky, the happiness of achieving his goal something immeasurable. He not only reached the top of the waterfall, but the spirits had seen his amazing strength and persistence, and so they rewarded him."_

_I knew what I had to do when I got back to base that morning. I shrugged off most of my clothes and I sat at my private desk, ripping off a piece of paper from a training log, and rummaging through a drawer for a pencil. I sat and sketched that little koi fish, remembering in vivid colors what I had seen as a boy._

_This koi fish not only represents my life, and the struggle I've had when I became a Marine, but it also reminds me of you. Bella, you are one special koi fish, and I know you're going to become a dragon really soon. You'll always be in my memory, but most importantly, you'll be inked deep into my skin right next to my heart._

_I love you, and always will,  
Edward_

_P.S.: Now that you have understood, you can open the smaller envelope I sent you. I have a sketch and a picture of it on me. I hope you like it, because I sure as hell do. (From a visual perspective - this is where I grin like an idiot)_

I smiled and opened the smaller envelope, gasping at what was there. The original design Edward had done, drawn by his own hand in dirty beige paper, the edges teared. The picture looked fabulous, the right side of his chest inked in bright tones that splashed out of his skin. It was absolutely beautiful, and it was touching not only because of the story of his mother... but because he had done it for _me._

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**A/N: So my computer crashed? Hahaha, yeah, that's one of the reasons for the slow updates. So sorry fi there's spelling errors, but I'm writing on WordPad because the laptop I borrowed doesn't have Microsoft Word.**

**Soooooo my lovely ones, what did you think? I absolutely loved it, obviously hahahaha. Hope you liked it too! Please let me know what you though, and cheers until the next time!**

**Sorry for being so slow in updating, but I've been in serious pwnage by MotU by Snowqueen's Icedragon over in Twilighted. Super amazing for those of you older gals who love the craziness like me. You should definitely check it out sometime.**

**You know Edward LOVES reviews, and Bella replies oh so much quicker when she gets them -wink wink-**

**Always your dedicated procrastinator,  
~R Vorenus~**


	32. The One Cheering Me On

_Oh Edward,_

_Are you trying to enchant me? Is that your true intention? Because if it is, then you've completely succeeded. I love the way the water waves wrap themselves around the koi, and how it looks to struggle up your chest, up the waterfall. It's not only beautifully drawn, but it's perfectly inked and it looks like a fine piece of work. I'd ask you who your tattoo artist is, but then again, I'd have to get on a plane and survive a couple of bombs to get one done. I wouldn't mind it in the least though... I'd get to see you. Yeah, I'd have to dodge a couple hundred bullets on the way, but I'd get the two best things: another tattoo, and you._

_Well, the tatt isn't at all as great as the other prize, if I honestly say so. I much rather not have to stop drop and roll all the way to your unit, but that would be an adventurous bit I wouldn't forget when thinking about being reunited with you. It could be like an Indiana Jones movie or something like 007, except for the fact that we wouldn't be able to yell "Cut!" in the middle of patrol duty, and we don't have stunt doubles to take the falls. Or, it could be played out like one of those Die Hard Bruce Willis movies, where he always ends up with a bloody lip and forehead, looking like he hasn't bathed for weeks, but with that good-guy-who-just-kicked-ass gleam in his eyes._

_As fun and endless as the possibilities are, we won't have to go too over-the-top for our next meeting. I'm thinking jeans and a sweatshirt with an iPod and some McDonald's as the homecoming present? That's simple and I know you'd like that much more that our other scenarios. I might trip and fall and eat the floor, so I just warn you, that bit of action might be present, so keep your eyes out. You should see the stupid grin I have on my face right now as I'm writing. I can't see it, but I feel it, and so does my calendar, who's staring at me, telling me there's only 3 months until I can see my Marine again. _

_I got an e-mail from the Senior Class Organization Committee, and prom's already planned and ready to go. I just have to get my AP's done first, and then I can officially help with all the decorations and planning and whatever else tedious details there are to deal with. I'm not much of a social butterfly in the confines of teenagehood, but I wanted to help Rose out since she's the Senior Class secretary, and she loves all those shenanigans. Oh, and I got my prom dress, so be prepared to wear a white vest with your tux. _

_As all this Senior crap is flourishing, and all the events are piling up into a crescendo, piquing at graduation, I realized how ready I am to grow up. Well, not really grow up, because I've been an old lady ever since I was a small girl. I've always acted older and lived older, but now that it's my time legitimately, I feel ready. I don't know if it's because I'm finally being given the opportunity to flare into the dragon after reaching the top of the waterfall, or if it's the uproar with going to college, or my baby sister love who's coming soon. There are so many reasons why I feel... adequate, is that the word?... with my new responsibilities, and open up to them. _

_I know there's much more to live, and I've only lived a millisecond compared to the whole life ahead of me that's waiting, but I feel like I'm prepared for this... I'm prepared for anything that comes, and even if I'm not ready for it, I'll know how to solve my own problems and stick up for myself whenever I need to. I feel strong, able, and I'm awaiting the things that destiny has in store for me. I don't think I'd be able to do this without your support, though. _

_Grams was always the one cheering me on, letting me know constantly that if I didn't believe in myself, no one else would believe in me. I do have an assuredness of my place in this world, and my purpose, but no one else has ever backed me up like you have. You're always there when I need you, and you show me that I really am worth a little more than I think I am._

_Thank you._

_For loving me, for listening to me, for talking to me, for confiding in me, for making me a part of your life... permanently. You have no idea what it means to me that you see me in such a way that you decided to keep me close to your heart for as long as you live. I am just the slightest bit mad at you for holding out on me before, not telling me what the new addition to your soul was. I love it, and I want to confess something to you..._

_I was planning on getting a new tatt, too. You went along and beat me though, running off before I could get mine and surprising you before. I'm not disclosing was this new piece of work is, because you were too hush-hush for too long and made me suffer an awful wait. Just paying you back with the same coin, baby._

_I will admit one thing - it's something different. Something I wouldn't normally expect to get, in a place where I hadn't planned on getting it either. You've caught me by surprise Cullen, and my soul agrees with the spontaneity. Apparently, Renee agrees with it too._

_She lounged into my room last night after dinner and sat on my bed, taking a framed picture from my bedside table, staring at it for a while. She didn't say anything for a while, so I was a little confused at her smiling simply like that. She set it down again and picked up another one, doing the same. I was getting a little scared that she had gotten mental in the last few days, so I just stared at her over the review questions I was answering on my laptop. She smiled at me and I returned the small expression, not know what she was up to._

_She looked at me in a strange way I'd never seen on her face before and told me, "This is it, huh? This is the one?" I shrugged in confusion, a little taken aback by her action of interest and looked beyond her to the frames she'd taken. Then I realized what she was talking about as she asked, "You guys really do love each other, don't you?"_

_The first picture she's picked out was one from us at the roller coaster at Hershey Park, your hair in a beautiful mess from the crazy ride we had, your tongue sticking out fully from the middle of your closed lips, your eyebrows furrowed in a cute little expression an angry 3-year old would have. I'm looking at you, my nose crinkled up in mock disgust and my bottom lip out in a small pout, half of my hair over the side of my face. I laughed a little on the inside, remembering our day._

_The other picture she took was the one with us at Arlington, the nice old man passing by took that one, remember? You've got your arms wrapped around my waist, my back resting against you, your head stooped down on my shoulder. Until the last minute, where you decided to give me a kiss on the cheek and I came out smiling improv._

_I nodded at Renee, not really knowing what to say to her, because I kinda can't verbally articulate this between us._

_She nodded at me and stood up awkwardly, apparently at a loss of anything to say. She looked a little guilty as she walked out after murmuring, "It's about time someone made you truly happy, Bella..."_

_I don't think I deserve so much happiness, and I definitely don't think I deserve you... but somehow, fate just made an epic mistake that I don't want it to fix._

_Missing your kisses and sending you some,  
Bella_

I shook my head as I read the last statements. I was half-amused, half-disheartened.

Dumb Bella, I'm the one who isn't worthy of you.

* * *

**A/N: Can you say ninja speed in updating? I have finals, but I find this to be a much more effective method of procrastination than any of the ones I had found before. Thanks for reading lovelies, and as always, you know I lovve to hear a piece of your mind about the chappies. I hope **_Maggieloo402 _**gets to this sometime, because I'm just dieing to hear what she says about it.**

**Thanks for sticking with me, loves!**

**Yours,  
~R Vorenus~**


	33. Red Is Definitely Your Color

_Oh baby,_

_You can't possibly be missing my kisses, because I'm sending you some in every letter... and they're not all for your lips, you know. I'm threatening to cut off the kiss supply if you keep up with this nonsense of "deserving" me. Bah! I'm not going to fight you over this one more time, but you're the angel that's been sent to me, not the other way around. Bella, I don't know how to show you how much you mean to me, and how you've brightened up each and every day of my new life. Maybe I should make a video, or write a poem, or maybe I can draw it out for you? Well, wait a minute, I already did and tattooed it on my chest. Hmmmm, would you go figure?_

_Look here sweetums: you're one dream I don't plan on waking up from, so don't make me shuffle around in bed with tangled sheets and cold sweat. You put me through the day... The countdown for the next meeting is in my mind, first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and I'm counting down the hours during the day, love. I live for the moment and make sure I take care of myself enough for my own sake, but more so I can live the months I have with you. Your letters make me live a little more every time I read them, and I don't know what I would do without them. Whenever they delay a bit too much (usually a day or three) I get a little unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach. Maybe you didn't want to write me anymore? Maybe you actually found someone that can make you happy and give you the life you deserve... not a nomad millions of thoughts away. But damn it, I love you and it would break me to see that happen. You have no idea just how much you mean to me, Bella, and I really don't know how to show you any more than I already have..._

_Well, I do, and you'll have to wait 'till I get there to find out._

_Anyway, on a more lighthearted tone, I sent my mom a letter telling her my tux size and the color of your dress, so she can fetch me a decent-looking suit to accompany you to prom. I know the uniform makes you go crazy, but I think you deserve as much normalcy as this meek Marine can give you. And, there's also the little touch that Emmett might come dressed to impress, and I really don't want to be associated with his pathetic ass. Besides, if I'm going to escort the most beautiful girlfriend of the U.S. Armed Forces, I need to look the part, too. To top it all off, I want to remind all the little boys around you that you're clearly taken by a very clearly smitten man, something I'll admit only to you so that I can keep my balls along with any trace of manly manhood I have left that you haven't taken away with your yummy smelling skin and soft kisses._

_You know, you're a real tease. I can't believe you'd torture me with not knowing what you're inking into your body. I must admit, I'm kind of disheartened at the fact that you don't trust your boyfriend enough to confide in him what your plans are. Kinda stings a little... just a tad bit, but I think I can survive._

_Thanks for the latest pics you sent... they were... very nice, to say the least. I should inform you, though, that now my little metallic box has had chains and several locks added to it, not only to protect the wonderful letters, but to ensure that no one is able to see anything keep guarded safe in there... specially not your latest photos, which let me tell you truly, I keep in my mind. All. Day. Long. But it's more like all shower long. Just as future reference, red is most definitely your color._

_Anyway, I'm pleased to say things over here are picking up slowly. We've been training day and night as usual and the boys are looking to be in better shape. I'm not sure they're ready yet, but I can assure you they are trying much harder now to be real Marines. I feel bad for them sometimes, though, because they came here to die if they don't shape up. I don't think they know how serious this is, but hopefully I've been able to talk some sense into them. Em kicked one guy's ass last week, and if I hadn't seen his busted up face and the painful look in his good eye, I swear I would have laughed. _

_Apparently, Em rolled up the sleeves on his shirt so that he could teach the kid how to lift a 250-lb bomb disarming machine, and the kid bursts out in laughter. Of course, Emmett gives him an angry look of Hell, sensing that he's being mocked for something. He told me he thought the kid was making fun of how strong he was and his burliness. Yeah, he's a little self-conscious that big dingbat… So, they were doing three-finger push-ups later on and Em had a foot on the guy's back, pushing down on him. The kid got really pissed and started cursing him out, but what really did him was when he said "You look like such a pussy with that rose on your hand."_

_Of course, anyone that even ever so slightly mocks his "wittle pwincess" gets nearly murdered. _

_So, the kid's still recovering from a broken rib and a sprained ankle in the infirmary. I feel very little sympathy for him though, because I'm looking at it through Em's eyes: he messed with his girl. Even if he didn't do it directly, he made fun of Em's tattoo in her memory. So, screw that little bastard, he got what he deserved. At first, I thought Em just overreacted to a ridiculous extreme, but then he got me to see it his way, and I completely understand why he did it. _

_If anyone dares to insult my pretty little koi fish, I will be very unforgiving. _

_If someone made fun of my Batman, whatever, it doesn't really matter. If someone joked around about my Arabic, I would just shrug it off. If they pointed out the world map on my back and called me Marco Polo, I'd give them the finger. But nothing would infuriate me more than someone messing with my koi fish, because that would mean that they were insulting my girl. Everything I see in you, what you represent to me, and our memories can all be triggered by just a simple glimpse at it. And let me just warn anyone out there, insulting you is very directly insulting me, and that is something I don't take lightly._

_Anyway, I have some fresh meat to order around, and I think I'm kind of smelly since I haven't taken a shower in a while. After patrol duty tonight I promise to look over those last pictures again, and I assure you, I'll let my mind wonder to happy little corners of our time spent. _

_I miss you more than ever, and I hope to see you soon somewhere other than in pictures and in my dreams._

_I love you like always, and more,  
Edward_

Alice bounced up and down in my bad as I laid on the floor belly-side down, wiggling my feet like a little girl who was reading a Disney story, or a teenager reading a trashy romance novel.

"So what does he have to say now?" Al asked and cocked her head to the side, suddenly focusing on a spot on the bed that I didn't know required that much attention.

I grinned stupidly, as I always do when I read his letters. I had that lazy, pathetically-in-love-girl twinkle in my eye, and my breathing was everywhere.

I shrugged a little, putting the letter back in the envelope and shooting it into my desk, above me.

"Um, not much, you know the usual… the guys that are new really suck… he's doing well… he misses me… he'll be home soon…"

Alice tried to smile, but I knew that wasn't her natural one. That unsettled me a little, but I let it go, because I didn't want anything to ruin the post-letter high I always experienced. She nodded and her smile became a little smaller, her eyes fixing on the spot on my bed again.

"Bella…?"

"Hmmm?" I asked with my eyes closed and my hand behind my head, lying back on a beanbag chair I found in the corner.

"I wanted to talk to you about something that's been bothering me lately, and well, I thought maybe I should ask you directly…?"

"Mhmmm?" I kept my eyes closed and hoped she wouldn't go where I thought she was going.

"Is it about Edward?"

"Yes."

I nodded, sighing and getting up, going to sit next to her on the bed.

"Promise you won't get offended or upset?"

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, bbs. I had a lot of stuff this month. I had finals and whatnot, and so I was busy. Besides, I was too caught up reading MotU and watching the amazing video on YouTube that was currently created for it. **

**Hope you liked this tidbit of ranting, off to writing the next chapter!**

**You know I love feedback… :D**

**Love you like always,  
~R Vorenus~**


	34. My Admiration of Her

"No, Alice, I won't get upset." I rolled my eyes and adjusted myself better on the bed to face her.

"Well, I don't know, I'm just worried about you..."

"Because...?"

"Well, I've never seen you like this before, and it's great, don't get me wrong, I love it. But, it's just, I don't know, it scares me sometimes."

I arched an eyebrow at her and shook my head dumbly, trying to let her know that I have no idea where she's going with this. I thought she was going to lead it down the "long distance relationships never work" road, but apparently she found another approach to accost me with.

She sighed and looked down, then lifted her head again to look me in the eyes before continuing.

"I know you're a strong girl, Bella, probably the strongest I know. And you're independent, and strong-willed, and smart, and you've got your shit together more than any adult or old person in the face of this planet. Girl, you're freaking nearly perfect, if not for the fact that you don't like shopping." She pauses and smiles at me, taking my hand and starting to play with it between both of her small ones. I chuckle a little and stare at her, waiting for her to continue and get to the point. Al is quite known for being around the bush and sugar coating everything.

"You're a beautiful person, your feelings are so wonderful and you're kind, caring, knowing. You mean a lot to me, you know that right?"

I nod, and she goes on.

"But I'm worried about you. You are this successful, gorgeous woman that's ready to take the world on. You an put on the boxing gloves and knock anything off its feet. You have so much life ahead of you, Bella, you've got an earth that's waiting for you to tackle hunger, lack of water supply, genocide, hate... You can do so many things. I can see you doing so many amazing things, B. You're so full of life, so full of this incredible drive to be a better person, and change the life of everyone in this world you meet. You have so much potential, so much courage, so much power..."

I nod at her curiously. I have no idea where she's taking this, and I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable, actually, being flattered so extensively without deserving it.

"You know, Bella, you can do so much with the rest of your life, I-"

I started getting a little pissed at her discourse and decided to butt in to make it stop before my ears started to bleed with the blasphemy.

"Look, if you're trying to get me softened up to tell me you're pregnant with Jasper's love child and want me to ask Edward to send me some money to give to you, I'm just letting you know in advance, it's not going to work."

She chuckled faintly and shook her head.

"Edward is a great guy. He's nice, polite, respectful, intelligent. The kid's wonderful. He's everything you'd want to bring home to your parents. He seems to care a lot about you, and look out for your well-being, even want to make you as happy as you can be. I haven't read your letters, and all I saw of you two together was maybe two or three hours tops, but I can gather that much. Besides, I trust your judgment and I know you wouldn't be involved in something serious with him if you weren't completely sure he's a good catch. He's good looking, decent, and he loves you. And to me, that's all that really matters."

"So then why all this mysteriousness and all the bullshit intro?"

"Look, Bells, I love you so much, and it would kill me to see you any less happier than you are now, and it would really pain me to have to see you in the state you were in when he left... or even worse..."

I lightly took my hand out of her grasp and wrapped it around my ankle, my other hand resting on my elbow.

"If this is about him 'hurting me' or whatnot, I know it's not going to happen. We're very forward with each other, and even if we're hundreds and thousands of miles away, we keep the truth flowing because we know how important that is in a relationship. Look, Alice... I know you're just looking out for me, but I know Edward's not going to break my heart, or do anything stupid because he's so far away," I shrugged at her, "As stupid and teenage-girl-whose-lovesick this may sound, I know he'd never do that because he's different from other men. That sounds like I'm in denial, but he really is different."

Alice opened her mouth, but I continued to speak before she could get a word in. I'd listened to the pile of crap she had said, now she'd have to listen to my bitchrant.

"But, it's-"

"I know I'm crazy and I know I may just be a stupid naive kid who's bitten off more than she can chew, but if he was not the one for me, I would have known Al. I would have known so long ago, like I have with everyone else. Tyler, Mike, Peter, Chris, Spencer, Jim, Erick, Bobby... I knew, Al, I knew. Even with Jake, I knew. I tried to make it work, I mean, I hushed that stupid little voice in the back of my head that said it wasn't true, it wasn't going to work. I tried to push away the thoughts that showed me he wasn't mine, the thumps of my heart that stayed the same when he's kiss me or touch me. There was no fire between us, Alice. No spark, no whatever cliche expression of love people make up... You know, I knew. I knew way before we even tried it that it wasn't going to work. Everyone loved us together, but fate wasn't smiling when we decided to take the next step."

I was out of breath and angry, shaking my head to emphasize my words and clenching my fists here and there.

"You know, it's another sense I have. I just know these things, Alice. I'm the people person, and I just know. And this is something I know with a scary amount of certainty. I know I love him. I know he loves me. Nothing is going to mess that up for us. If his being in battle and my being a nonsensical millions of miles away hasn't broken our ties yet, I don't know what else will. Al, we share something that I don't even share with myself. It's so... natural... and it just feels like I'm doing something I'm supposed to do...

"It's not just the fact that he remembers everything I tell him, or that he tells me sweet things or asks me about everything I do and begs me to tell him my thoughts... There's something I don't really know how to verbalize that's there. I can't even draw it, or hum it, or materialize it... It's just a feeling, a sense of belonging that I don't know how to explain to you. Al, he's not going to hurt me. You have nothing to worry about. It's not as if he'd ever cheat on me with anyone there... and if he goes out to a strip club somewhere, well, screw it, it's not like I give a shit. He's mine, all mine, and he has me inked onto his soul forever... If that's not a sign of some serious shit, I don't know what is, Alice... I don't know what is..."

I shake my head and look at her, feeling the intensity building up in me as I try to explain to her how we feel... how we _love_. I feel my eyes ablaze, a redness crawling up my neck into my face.

"Bella, I know, I know." She took my hand on hers again and squeezed it tightly, attempting to calm me down and ease the ridiculous adrenaline that started to pump through my body. I honestly don't know what got me so worked up... I felt like she was attacking me... attacking Edward... attacking us. That's something I'm not willing to stand, even from my best friend, who is closer than a sister.

"Yes, I know this guy for a couple of months. Yes, I only met him once. Yes, he could me faking his past entirely and lie to me about everything he's ever done and everything he ever wants to do. Yes, I could be living a lie and believing every word that comes out of his mouth as truth. Yes, I could just be a pathetic little girl, cheated. But no, I do not live in a fantasy world where Edward is perfect and his life is dedicated solely to me... because that's pure shit. I know he lies about some things, exaggerates others, plays others down, and doesn't tell me things about himself that he thinks might change my image of him. But I'm not fxxxing stupid, Alice. I'm not a baby. I don't live in a bubble. But I know that above all, besides his imperfections and his human bullcrap, he's made for me. He's the one life wants me to be with, even if it's hard for us to pursue it.

"And yes, Al, I do trust him. Obviously not blindly, but I trust him enough."

She took my other hand and held it close to her, releasing it for a second and rubbing my shoulder. She looked like she was in terrible pain, maybe as if Jasper had been wounded mortally or if she had been diagnosed with some irreversible sickness.

"Bella, what if he dies?" she said softly. I almost let it slip by if I wasn't paying so much attention. I slumped visibly. I felt my shoulders give out and my posture completely go to hell. I felt that sting, deep down somewhere in the never ending nowhere of my soul. I felt it, like a bone-chilling sickness that crawls under your skin, takes over your psyche and plays you around like a puppet. That numbness people clam, it's all a lie. It's more like an icy takeover of every bodily function you possess. It's feeling the emptiness of your life filled in with the coldest water, chilling it to the point beyond frozen, then stabbing at it with a normal kitchen knife, or pounding on it with a hammer.

I blinked, feeling my soul drop to my toes, exhausted. I finally let her express her concerns. I always hushed her, patted her head a little telling her to go away and stop reminding me I might not get a letter in 3 weeks after I mailed mine. I tried not to humor her very often, but she clawed herself into my dreams some nights.

Alice snapped me back to reality. I realized I was sitting the same way I was before she even started this, without even a shiver.

"What if he dies, Isabella? What are you going to do then?" she whispers at me, clutching my hands.

"You've made him such an important part of your life, I don't think you'll be able to stand something like that. I don't think you'll be able to take that blow. Bella, I know what it's going to be like when it happens."

He words cut through me. _When it happens_. Not when, _if_... _if_ it happens. It can't happen... not yet, not so soon, not ever, but not yet...

"You're going to put up the face paint. You're going to laugh louder, you're going to join more clubs, you're going to organize a fundraiser a day, you're practically going to go live at the homeless shelter, or make the lesson plans for each AP teacher you have. You're going to go to prom in black, sit in a corner drinking spiked punch, smiling at everyone that passes by telling them they look fabulous, and sulking to high hell every single damn minute of it.

"You're going to sell your car and donate the money to some unknown foundation, and spend your afternoons (the ones where you're not off saving starving children in Ghana) visiting your Grams' grave and dusting it off, putting more and more flowers on it every single day you go. You'll fly across the US giving speeches and starting foundations and you're going to have your own Pen Pal program probably called 'Loving The Ones Who Serve' or some shit like that... You'll go to college and graduate top one in your class, join the Peace Corps and probably find a cure for AIDS or Cancer before you're 50.

"But you know what's going to happen in the end? You'll be empty. You won't care about anything else in the world. You'll come home at 3 in the morning, your sister (whom you raised) soundly asleep in her room across the hall from yours, find yourself a glass and fill it up with scotch, then look at that big pile of letters you once had, then take a couple of looks at your pictures with Edward, and pass out on your computer chair after endless hours of paperwork you need to get your latest trip to Paraguay approved.

"You're going to live for little Aiden Marie, and for the rest of the world, and you're not going to give a shit about yourself. And that, Bella, would hurt me so much, because nothing is worse than a walking corpse."

By the time Alice finished, she was out of breath and teary-eyed, looking at me for signs of life. I blinked, swallowed, and breathed. But besides that, there wasn't any other movement coming from my side of the bed.

I finally sighed as I closed my eyes and put my knees up, resting my forehead on them. I opened my eyes and rested my chin on one of my kneecaps, looking at Alice again.

"Look, Alice. I know there's a... high... probability that he might not make it, but I know life isn't going to take him away from me. I'm aware that he's at risk every single second of every minute of every hour of ever day. But he's a grown man Alice, he knows how to protect himself, and they're practically a family over there. They watch out for each other like no one else can imagine. I know it's tough, Al... and believe me, I think about it every day... But, somehow, I feel like he's going to make it through."

"And if he doesn't? Bella, you need to break away a little from him... this is just making everything worse... you guys are too close for it to be healthy... Bella, I saw how you got when he left... it would be millions of times worse if he's gone... forever."

"Alice, I know you're doing this for the best, but-"

"_Beee-LLAAAAAA_!" The ear-splitting cry reverberated across the walls of my room and all throughout the house.

I quickly snapped up from the bed and run across the hall, Alice's look turned into a deep look of concern and alarm, following me into Renee's room.

I didn't find her there, so I dashed to the studio that had become little Aiden's room, and found her sitting on the floor clutching at my baby pictures and a new teddy bear we'd bought Aiden. She was in a puddle of some transparent fluid and there was some blood seeping into her green flowered dress.

Alice and I rushed to her, each one grabbing an arm and putting it around our neck, lifting Renee up. After we carried her downstairs and flung the door open, leaving it that way rushing to the car and putting Renee in the back seat, I frantically drove us to the hospital.

"Get James on the line! Now!" I barked nervously at Alice who was in the backseat holding onto Renee, who was wailing and sobbing in pain.

Aiden would be two months early if she decided to come through today.

I swerved into the parking lot and saw James and half a dozen of nurses outside with a bed ready and waiting.

They came into the car and helped her out, carrying her onto the moving bed and rushing her into maternity.

I clutched at Robert's scrubs. As being the oldest nurse, he knew me very well since I was always in there, and reassured me everything would be okay. I don't know how I got out of the panic attack, but somewhere between Robert words and Alice's hushes, I ended up sitting in the waiting room with a cut of coffee in one hand and a stress ball in another.

I waited, hours and hours, and my panic was dwelling on the edges, waiting to strike again.

Finally, James came out, poker face in place. I was scared that wouldn't be the best news, but I remembered when he told me about Grams, officially.

"You have a beautiful baby sister with eyes unremarkably similar to yours, Bella. Congratulations, he nodded and his smile broke through. He opened his arms and walked toward me. I flew into them and attacked him with Thank Yous and Thank Gods and Oh Mys. His grin was even wider when he put me down and started to explain the whole hospital procedures that followed. He said Renee wasn't in a very good condition to leave the hospital soon, but that Aiden would be fine once she spent a week or two in the premature care department. He said I shouldn't see Renee until tomorrow, or until she called for me, but he wouldn't take away the joy of seeing little Aiden.

He took me to see her across a thick glass. Little cubicles on the other side. Robert waved on the other side and smiled, pointing down at the cubicle he was working on. There she was. I couldn't see her, but I was waiting anxiously for at least a peek at her tiny form. Robert finished cleaning her off or feeding her, or doing God knows what, and he finally lifted her up. She was in a blanket, and I still couldn't see anything.

Then, Rob looks down at his arms, two feet away at most, and shows me the most beautiful little creature on the face of the planet. She was just the brightest looking star in the sky. She was a wrinkled mess, so tiny, Rob had no problem holding her in both of his strong, large man-hands. She had the smallest nose, even smaller than the smallest kitty's. Her eyelashes were long even though her face was so small, her eyes closed shut, but I could tell they were going to be huge like her big sister's. He mousy little toes and her miniature hands called to my attention. Her ears were red, and her skin was another trait she picked up from me. No melanin there, eh?

I had never seen something so fragile-looking, so minute in my life. It was really amazing.

Suddenly, I noticed that during my admiration of her, she had opened her eyes. Those beautiful orbs caught me off guard and made me smile so wide, it was impossible to stop grinning. Lord, she was so precious. Those huge pieces of milk chocolate that stared at me were just so true in their innocence, they made me love her even more than I already did.

My baby sister was so beautiful, so small. I had the overwhelming urge to protect her, and vowed from this moment on, I would fight whoever and whatever I had to in order to keep her safe. I've only known her for a couple of minutes, the first of her life, and I already know I'm going to love this being more than I love myself.

* * *

**A/N: So I went really aaawwwww in this chappie, and I hope you guys liked the ending. Tehehe sorry for not putting a letter in there, they will come in the following chapters.**

**Once more, thank you dearly for putting up with me, and going with my rants.**

**You know I love to hear a piece of your mind!**

**Loves you forever almost more than Bella loves Aiden and Edward,  
~R Vorenus~**


	35. The Doctor Flipped Out

_Edward,_

_Say Hello to the most beautiful baby you've ever seen. Aiden Marie, God she's gorgeous. I think I have now become smitten with someone other than a certain lover a million miles away. Don't worry now; she's got a different hold on my heart than you do, but this wonderful little creature has me absolutely gaga. I can't seem to hold her enough, or carry her to her crib, or even stare at her sleeping, peaceful form for long enough. I can't believe I've been graced with such an amazing being, I don't know what I've done to deserve those toothless grins and the gurgling noises that sound remarkably like laughter when I tickle her tummy, or rub her ribs. She's a tiny little thing, but she's getting thick quick. I think sister Bella needs to stop trying to feed her every waking moment. Renee's still in the hospital since she had complications, but she's stable and Dr. James says we'll see her recovered fully in a couple of weeks, when she'll finally be able to be with Aiden. Dr. James didn't recommend to bring little Aiden to her because she's still weak and he doesn't think she'll be able to carry her or do any other motherly things._

_Looking at Aiden makes me reevaluate everything in my life, my past, even my future seems to have taken another turn with the new little gift I've received. I used to think that everything that happened in my life was somehow meant to be a test of endurance, or an obstacle in which I needed to prove my strength to some unknown, otherworldly power. Maybe it's all a big sham, I thought to myself a lot of times. Maybe this is supposed to be like a life-long boot camp, something I have to walk out of with a hard heart and balls of steel. But you know, now that I see everything in a larger perspective, I guess the tests before this one were just to prove me apt and to be the best I can. That sounds cheesy and all cliché'd up, but I really think that's the purpose of all the minor inconveniences that happened in the road to now. It was just a character building exercise parents do with their kids, although then it was Father Time who was helping me practice._

_Renee. I laugh. That's all I can actually do. This woman is a circus on her own. Crazy, I tell you. Sure, she'd be a great college roommate or a friend, but she was a terrible mother. I don't call her that, but for all purposes of being civil and politically correct, that's what she's termed. She threw me to Charlie for a couple of years, thinking it would be easier that way. Then she came back, claiming she didn't love Whiskey more than she loved me, and I didn't believe her, but apparently Charlie bought into it as he was still stupidly in love with her. It was, though, that she loved band busses and men more than she loved her only daughter. Yeah, our "mother-daughter-bonding" lasted a good three days, maybe four? She dipped and decided to travel with some friends and start their own country band (even though she didn't know how to play any instruments or sing). Then Grams took over, and that's when I start counting my life as living._

_Charlie. He's so dull. There's no other way that I could describe him but in monochromatic stoicism. He doesn't smile much, he doesn't anger easily, he doesn't really do anything much. He sits on a couch with beer and watches re-runs of Family Guy and sometimes House when he's feeling intellectual. He's not much of a man, really. He's not much of a father, either. The only thing he is, though, is a cop. Living with him taught me how to cook, how to do laundry, how to wash floors, how to clean plates, how to scrub bathtubs and how to earn my own money and buy my own clothes and shoes and food. It's not as bad as it sounds, really, it's just I learned how to become self-sufficient with him, and how to love myself when no one else would. And then, that's when my angel showed up._

_Grams. You know the story with her. If I never had her and she never left, I wouldn't have known what a true mother was supposed to be, and how true, pure, love felt. I wouldn't know how affection was channeled and how to raise myself and my (maybe) future children. She knew before I did that one day, sooner than I expected, I would need to be her. It's funny, now that I think of it, because when she left, I thought it would be impossible to go on and live, having her gone from my side. I thought that was the end, and I thought she was forever lost in the realm of the living. But, no, she never left. Her memory is always with me, and since I now have to take care of Aiden as if she were my own, Grams lives on in my teachings and raising of my little sister. She'll always be with me, she'll always be alive._

_Volleyball. Something I didn't tell you since I didn't deem it important enough. I used to play volleyball for the school's team since freshman year. I was a pretty good asset, I won't tell you with too much modesty. I had a mean spike and some beastly serves, number twelve proudly stamped on my jersey and the back of my little black booty shorts. We went to state competitions; we played against Pennsylvania's girls, Maryland, Virginia, and even West Virginia! We were the team to beat, until we got to nationals. Then, it was a game against the tan, tall, brunette Florida girls that things started to go wrong. My hit was amazing, my approach was almost unnaturally quick, and my spike was oh so soooo damn good. I didn't realize the pain in my wrist was getting so strong because of the adrenaline rush and the cheers from our team, some girls giving my high fives (that I later realized only made the lesion worse) and other patting my back or smacking my ass, as we do customarily when someone does something right. We were finally catching up to the Floridians; it was almost possible that we would win, even! There was little left of the game and well, I don't need to tell you who won. Obviously, with a couple bumps from me to Parker and from Parker to Rachel, we did it._

_Unfortunately, my victory dance didn't come until I was in the emergency room with a wrist the size of two softballs and turning purple and blue. So, yeah, I fractured my wrist… big deal? No, not really, not to me. I figured sure, it hurts a lot, but what does it matter? People have injuries much worse than this, and it's just high school volleyball, for God's sake. I rolled my eyes at coach K-Dub a couple of times when she gasped, oohed and ouuuched looking at my wrist with an icepack around it._

"_Hey, at least it was my left wrist, so it won't matter once I go back to school. You can relax, I can still write and it won't be a problem, trust me." I remember telling her in a nonchalant voice. It really didn't matter to me, it was just a small injury. The swelling would go down in a couple of days, and after I rested it, there would be no problem and things would go back to normal. Well, I can safely say that I am the worst fortune-teller that this earth has ever seen. The doctor flipped out on me and demanded I never play volleyball again in my life, or any other sport for that matter. He specifically said (with a look of terror) "Don't even come in close proximity to a gym" which I laughed at, but got a grave expression in return. _

_I thought he was exaggerating things, but apparently I fractured all the bones in my wrist and tore a couple of ligaments while I was at it. It amazed me how badly I got hurt, and how little pain I actually felt. He told me that probably I'd snapped my hand back too forcefully and in that lunge forward for the ball, the impact created a friction between the bones and as I spiked the ball, the tense bones snapped in place from the fast, unnatural transition. He said the high fives and the other spikes just angered the fracture more, and the ligaments couldn't handle it any longer, so they tore under the pressure I was creating. He said I needed to be more careful and tsked and wagged his finger reproaching me._

_I shrugged at him and signed some papers (being an emancipated minor did that for you) and was soon on my way to the hotel with the girls to celebrate our win. I had a red cast (I bitched when the nurse tried to give me a neon pink one) and a bottle of prescription painkillers in my pocket. I thought about throwing them away since I wasn't even considering using them, but then I thought about Grams and saved them just in case she had one of those sleepless aching nights. We got back home and Charlie flipped out when he found out, Renee doesn't know 'til this day, and Grams just shook her head and laughed, telling me all her childhood injury stories._

_All those shenanigans made me upset, primarily because volleyball made me feel useful and sporty and whatnot, and I won't lie, it made me fit in rather nicely, so everyone knew who I was. Sure, it was extremely hard to play, practice, and try to save the world all on the same schedule, not to mention, help Grams with her illness, but thanks to the fact that I had no other life but that, it was fine with me. I got used to the rush of being ten places at a time, and I have to thank my coach K-Dub, because she always let me slip by practices for one reason or another._

_I realize now, my time was up. I had fun playing and traveling here, there, all over the place, but it was time for other things. Grams got sick not too much after that, so I had to take care of her. It was the least I could do, even as the only person she had left. I gave up pretty much everything else and focused on her, and thanks to the fact that I had a busted wrist, I didn't have to make up excuses to miss tournaments or competitions. Then, the vice-presidency to the club happened this year, and I thank God I have nothing else on my plate but AP's, because this has been a fantastic year and I've been able to wholly devout myself to the causes we've started. I'm proud of our missions as ever, and now it feels incredible. Even now, with Aiden, I have the time for her that I wouldn't have had if I were gallivanting across the nation on weekends with the team._

_Thanks, injury; because of you I can focus more on the world and less on myself. That, my love, makes me extremely happy. I don't think I can make it any clearer how all these "misfortunes" have made my life the great thing it is. There's one last thing, though, that I can consider a positive even when it looks bad from over here._

_You. You left, again, back to your normal life. You're far and I can't see you, or touch you, or smell you, or hear you. You're gone, over there, and I'm over here. But I know that the next time we meet, this separation will be for the better, because we'll feel stronger and love harder and everything will be an exponential reminder of what it was at first._

_Stay strong, love,_

_Bella_

* * *

**A/N: Bonjour lovelies! I'm back with another chapter for your amazingnesses to read. I hope you like it, as always please leave me some of your mind behind. Thanks for putting up with me!**

**Remember Edward writes muuuch faster when he's being encouraged. (No bribery intended)**

**Always loving you,**

**~R Vorenus~**


	36. Bah, But I Digress

_Dear beautiful,_

_That is the sweetest baby girl I've ever laid eyes on. You should tell her Uncle Edward says hi and wishes he could be there to pinch her cheeks and make that farting noise people do to babies with their mouths onto the little one's stomachs. I don't know if it actually has a name, but if I could remember being a baby I bet that (aside from all the food and naps) it would be my favorite thing. Aiden Marie, wow, what a nice name. Almost as pretty as her sister's, but not quite. I hope Renee is doing well, and I'm not going to lie, I'm glad Aiden's home with you, and now temporarily under your care and supervision. I know she'll be safe and sound in your arms. I can see the love you have for her in the pictures you sent; your eyes are just so full of this newfound tenderness and there's a certain strength growing in that gaze, under the sugarcoated smile. Her sweet, toothless grin and those Hershey eyes with the blank curiosity of a new life could make anyone question their purpose in life if not to love. _

_I know you can think about her for an endless day, but I don't have an endless about of paper to rant about how adorable the kid is, nor do I have the time. I have to get back to doing patrol duty after we've completed the first rounds of training for the new soldiers I told you a while back. Emmett and I have been able to work them up to the level of manhood they need to be at, but that still isn't enough, even if they're willing to be good Marines. I'm still upset, but it lessens with everyday that gets me closer to coming home for training and seeing you again. Soon, I won't be caring much about those I have to baby around (excuse my expression) and I'll just be focusing on staying alive and trying to make it to the day I get on that plane with those other nine men. Nine men who have no idea how important my voyage is. Nine men that know nothing about the urgency I feel to stand on firm American land once more. Nine men that can't even imagine how important it is for me to get to that airport on time and walk into the white-tiled waiting room. Nine men that are surely clueless to the reason I live every day as if it was the first of the rest of my life. Ten men aboard, one of which who is only physically present. _

_Bah, but I digress from the most important thing I need to tell you in this letter. It's funny, because I just thought about being a toddler and stalling answering questions my parents asked whenever I broke my grandmother's favorite a vase or ripped off the heads of my sister's Barbie dolls. It's like being called into the principal's office as a teenager and being asked "Okay, so tell me the truth, did you cheat or not?" Then you start racking your mind for excuses and sob stories or something funny to lighten the mood. In the end, though, you end up saying a whole bunch of unnecessary crap that has nothing to do with the question. You start talking about how you were late to school this morning, how your house burned down last night and you weren't able to study because your book blew up along with your dog. Then you use the "I wasn't really looking at the paper, I was looking at the wall with the poster of Einstein for inspiration" and you bring out the "You know, my pencil fell the minute the teacher looked at me, that's why I was looking in that direction and she mistook it for cheating." Better yet, you whip out the "Oh please, Ms, that was a collaborative work effort; there's no need to freak out like that... it's not cheating, it's teamwork." _

_That, once again, has nothing to do with what I'm going to tell you, but I figured that if I kept stalling it with something funny you wouldn't notice that I'm avoiding what I actually have to say. Of course, you could probably skim through the letter and read below the shocking news for yourself without having to read through my ramblings, but that would be no fun, would it? By the way, my tattoo artist wants to send you a shout out for the inspiration of the new addition. He says that every time I come prancing into his quarters shirtless, he feels proud of himself. He says he's privileged to do something that amazing here in the war, where most guys get "Mom" tattooed on their forearms and manly man symbols on their backs. He's also interested in knowing if you might have any single friends running around there who might be interested in a 6'5", 265 lb ginger. If so, he says "please hollah"._

_Anyhow, now to the real deal. So, I was talking to my mom the other day on the phone (we get monthly family plans where we can talk or Skype with our closest relatives) and I might have made a relatively large boo-boo. So, my mom's known about you for as long as we've been talking. I know it makes me sound like a love struck teenage girl, but my mom would have found out regardless. She's got an uncanny sense for these types of things and the moment she asked me why I was so smiley, she didn't even have to ask to know. So, eventually I decided to tell her straight up because she'd been bothering me about it and she thought I was either in love with a fellow man Marine, or a lady nurse or something of the sort. You should have seen the relief in her eyes when I told her it was neither of those; it was epic to say the least. Well, the rest of the story goes that I sent her the duplicates of our time together in DC and she just flipped. _

_I've never seen my mom happier in her life._

_She always asks about you when she calls and she wants to know every single detail she can find out about you. You're the daughter-in-law she never expected to have, but that she never would have dreamed of having. If there's anything we agree on, it's you. Now, things got a little more seriously, though, and she took the next step I don't know how to deal with by myself. She wants to meet you. I'm not too sure how that's going to work with you all the way over there and her all the way in the other extreme of there. She says she's willing to buy a plane ticket and a stay at a hotel to meet you. She already loves you, so there's no need to freak out or try to prove yourself. The only thing I would caution you about is that she loves to go out shopping and walking all over the city. She's also a night person, so don't be surprised if she calls you at midnight wanting to drink some tea or pay Starbucks a visit. So, with this extensive rantage, I'd like to know if you would do my mom the honor of meeting her. It's really important to her, now that she only has one son and one possible daughter-in-law to accost. _

_Now that I made that point clear after endless paragraphs of avoiding the point, I want to share a little comical tale about my mom and one of the girls I dated a long time ago. I don't like discussing exes or whatnot, but this is just too funny to pass up the opportunity. This was during my last year of high school, when there was a party every weekend and there was hardly enough time to breathe between grad celebrations and clubbing invitations. As the good golden boy I was, of course my parents let me have a "small get-together" with my "closest friends". It turned out the entire school somehow found out about the party (wasn't my fault, I swear, I didn't put it on the afternoon announcements the last day of school). My house was packed with hormonal, wannabe-cool, needy kids that were barely legal. Needless to say, my parents weren't happy about it, but they let it slide because I did so well and worked so hard to be the star child that graduated top of the top in his senior class and made everyone proud. _

_It was all good, the sun was massively hot, the girls scantily clad in their bikinis and the guys wearing their dull colored beach shorts. The pool was huge, fresh, and so damn tempting. The music was loud and boomed with a sick base all around my massive backyard, people dancing on the side of the pool, on the grass, on the pool chairs, tables, and playing chicken inside the refreshing blueness of the pool. Mom would come by once or twice every half hour to check up on us (and to make sure there was no indecency and fornication going on in her backyard). She'd walk around, smile at some people, grimace at others and make faces that clearly said "Oh my God, where are your manners?" She'd give me a thumbs up of her inspection and go back inside of the house, or call me over to her and tell me to lower the volume or tell Bob to stop doing that to Jamie, and John to stop looking at Susan that way. _

_So I took a seat on a wooden brown cushioned beach chair and got comfortable, laying back and closing my eyes to try to soak up the sun my white ass desperately needed. Out of nowhere, in a couple of seconds, I felt something come in extremely close contact with my crotch, so I pop open my eyes. And there she was: Tanya, strawberry blonde curls and all, face down right in the wrong place when my mom swept her eyes over the crazy kids in her backyard. I sat frozen looking at Tanya's face between my legs and my mom's shocked expression. Mom says my eyes looked like saucers and I was automatically proclaimed guilty as charged in her mind. As the story goes according to Laurent, I laid back on the chair and Tanya got out of the pool wanting to scare me awake. She was trying to be all sly and cool, but she was so drunk from the previous party, she missed the stones between the pool area and the grass area and tripped right onto my expecting friend. It's way funnier now that I explain it than it was when it happened and my parents brought the judgment of the Apocalypse down on me upstairs in my room sitting next to Tanya._

_I don't think I need to explain what happened between us after that little incident. _

_Anyway, the moral of that story is, my mom hated her really badly, and she didn't like any other girl I ever dated or had a relationship with. They were Princeton girls, Harvard girls, girls who were inheriting a fortune from their Donald Trump-like parents. But none of them had any soul. She hated their asses more than she loathed Satan. For her to love you without knowing you makes you a saint according to her standards, and when she meets you, she'll know for sure you're everything she imagined and more. _

_Take care of yourself for me, and watch over Aiden like the guardian angel I know you are._

_Love you like always,  
Edward So Very Whipped Anthony_

* * *

**A/N: Well, I might be a day or two late on the updating, but at least I did it, right? Sorry for the delay, lovelies, I've been busy watching the FIFA world cup and having anxiety attacks over Eclipse.**

**You know I love the love, and Bella succumbs to bribery oh so very easily. Just remember that. **

**Hugs and smooches,**

**~R Vorenus~**


	37. We're Better Off This Way

_Dear smitten,_

_I would be delighted to meet the famous Mrs. Cullen. I've heard great things about her. She's someone I admire even without knowing face-to-face because after all, she did raise an amazing son without whom I wouldn't be dazed and feel like a little girl again. I'm sure she'll have a blast with me—my very gracious movements and oh so ladylike vocabulary are sure to win her over. I think you're over-exaggerating the liking me part, but I'm sure she's glad her son isn't stuck with a tramp or worse yet… a liberal! I hope she doesn't mind the fact that I'm an obsessive compulsive know-it-all who wants to save the world. Maybe I should wear a turtle neck just in case (so she doesn't see the new onyx ink addition to the back of my neck). She might freak out and tell me I'm the devil or something of that sort. Maybe she'll think I seduced you into being my boyfriend and my true goal is to corrupt you. I know she's a conservative woman, so I just can't understand how you've gotten away with hiding all that ink. How has she not seen it? I mean, it's everywhere. Do you wear long-sleeved shirts and pants all the time so she has no way of seeing it all?_

_My questions might be a little impertinent, but I really want to leave her with a good impression of who I am without offending her or doing something so incredibly stupid she sees me as another one of the kids and not someone who's serious about this. I know she's a nice woman (from the stories you've told me) and I also know she's suffered and lost a lot, so I can identify with her (even if it's not on such a radical level). She seems sweet and caring, too, so I doubt she'll laugh at my stupidity in my face; she'll spare me the embarrassment and make fun of me later. _

_About her stay, tell her she can come to my house and have the same comforts of a hotel, including room service and not have to pay a single cent. I'll need a two-week notice so I can clean up the nasty mess I have everywhere, but it'll be in optimum conditions when she's here. Worry not, Marine, I'll have it sparkling in no time so that I can have a good lasting impression on the matriarch. _

_Anyhow, as you may notice, I mentioned something about a new addition earlier. I think I've been bothering you about this for such a long time, I might as well put out and tell you what it is. I added a sketch of the original and the final product, which was somewhat modified since my tatt artist is a beast and decided to make it look even better than I thought. I hope you'll enjoy knowing that it's something I thought of you when doing. I decided to make it simple though, just like the Celtic knots, and not draw an actual eagle, because that would be too much for the back of my neck. I really liked the plain black ink (the darkest I could find) and the brilliant strips of green that makes the eyes of the eagle. Why an eagle? Well, first, it's the fact that it's the representation of this country, and you're doing an amazing job fighting for it. The really important part of it all is that an eagle demonstrates strength and endurance, a fierce animal when it comes to protecting its own. But when it comes to dealing with the ones they love, they do everything they can to make sure they are happy and cared for._

_That reminds me of you in so many ways; it makes me smile with every thought. _

_I hope that you realize, Sir Edward, that there is less than a month left before you come for training. Maybe four weeks and a day or two? I'm excited about meeting your mom, yes, but in all honesty, I can't wait for these weeks to end so that I can see you again. Those are going to be some amazing days we'll spend, I can promise you that. I'm looking at some of the places we can go in Texas (not as many as here in DC, but enough) whenever you don't have to be training excessively. I'm sure all you'll want to do is sleep and rest a little so that you can power up for the next day, but we'll have our moments in between. _

_By the way, the apartment rental's going fantastic. Jasper helped me out with some contacts he has from his family that still live there. His youngest cousin lives there with his wife (who's a real estate agent) so they got us a nice little thing for a very generous price. I don't know if it's the fact that everything here is so expensive, but it seemed to me that it was a little too generous. If it wasn't for the fact that Jazz denied having asked them for a "friendly discount" I would have thought it was his doings. I wouldn't be surprised if it was. I can't wait to go over there, Jazz told me the apartment is a few steps away from the beach (just like I daydreamed of). Can you imagine that?_

_Walking barefoot on the warm sand, the cool water washing over to our ankles, refreshing us after a long afternoon of training in your case, and an endless day of world-saving in my case. Relaxing under the darkening sky, forgetting about a day crammed with hard work and stress. Letting go of everything and just sitting there, looking out into the nothingness blankly, waiting for the meaning of life to fall out of the sky like a shooting star. I'll forget our days are counted, you'll forget you're due to go back. _

_All the love I have,  
Bella_

_P.S.: Aiden Marie says Hi!_

"Oh my goodness! She's so adorable; she wants to see me, too!" an excited voice filtered in through the chorded black monstrosity that they called a phone in the base.

"Yeah, she says she wants to know when you're coming to meet her." I sighed into it, feeling the broken ribs on my left side.

"As soon as possible! I'll be there tomorrow if I can find a plane ticket that soon!" she exhaled contentedly.

I chuckled, wincing as it caused more pain, and composed myself, trying not to laugh any further. "Ma, letters don't get sent and received that quickly. It usually takes about a week, two weeks tops to arrive. The mail guy is here today to send letters, so maybe even quicker than that."

"What are you waiting for? Go write her a response right now!"

"Ma, trust me, it won't get to her by tomorrow, that's for sure." I laughed and took in a breath sharply.

"Oh, well, that's a bummer," she mumbled. "In that case, I guess I'll have to wait until next month to go then."

I thought quickly about the things that would be happening in a month, the sensation of stabbing and burning on my left side were dulled for an instant, but then I came back to Earth.

"Uh, no mom, Bella can't, she's going to," I thought quickly of something that would make sense to my mom to distract her from any suspicion that Bella and I would be together during my training, "Louisiana next month."

"Oh, how… nice…" she hesitated. Probably thinking Bella was going to New Orleans to Mardi Gras or something, even if it was the completely wrong time of the year.

"Is it a graduation present or something from her parents?" she sounded a little hopeful that my girlfriend was going because of the sinful delight of her heart.

"No, ma, she's going to join the efforts of the oil spill. She volunteered to become one of the rescuers, cleaning the oil off animals and sweeping the beaches of the coast that got filled with it."

She sighed in relief and I could hear her smile on the other end of the receiver.

"She is just an angel, that one. Heaven sent, I swear." I smiled on my end of the phone too, even though I'd just lied to my mom about that, I knew it my heart that Bella would do something like that. And the only reason why she wasn't doing it now was because she had a baby to take care of and AP exams to take. Actually, the AP exams wouldn't matter a rat's ass to her, because she'd come up with some elaborate explanation and they'd let her take the make-ups.

"I know ma, I know. She wanted me to tell you that she'd like you to stay with her instead of renting a hotel. She says she'll be glad to have you there, and that she'll accommodate you as best as she can. Which is amazing, because if she's saving starving children in Africa and liberating women in the Middle East and _still_ has time to maintain a house, I'm sure it's going to be great." I chuckled again but coughed when I a choking sound of pain came out of my mouth.

"Ah, son, the way you talk about her is something special… It reminds me of how your dad and I used to talk about each other when we first met. Something overwhelming, groundbreaking, like we found the secrets of the universe or something of that sort. I know you love her son, and I'm glad it's her that has your heart."

"Ha, yeah, Bella's the best. I don't think it's true about the other way around. I'm still convinced she can do better than a college dropout, haha."

"Edward Anthony Cullen. You stop that this instant. You are a formidable young man with courage I have not seen in many. You are loving and caring and you have a beautiful heart. You deserve her just as much as she deserves you. When life gives you something good, accept it, son. Don't push it away, keep it close."

I had a feeling the waterworks were coming soon and I didn't really feel like depressing myself with my mom's troubles and her reminiscing of the past and such. Somehow she sensed it and started the end of our conversation.

"Honey, it's been great to talk to you, I've missed you terribly. Your dad told me he's feeling a little left out since it's been two months you last spoke to him, and says he's jealous because you only talk to me these days," she laughed.

"I love you, ma. Take care of yourself and dad and Nessie. I haven't talked to her in a while, either. Next time you talk to her, tell her it's all good that she has a family and a job, but that she's still my sister and therefore is obligated to talk to me."

I heard mom laugh again, something I missed hearing a lot. I hadn't heard Bella's laugh in a long time, either, so it had faded somewhere in my memory. It made my manly heart happy to hear my mom happy. It was something I enjoyed, seeing her smile again, after what happened to Anthony.

"Will do, sonny. Now, you take care of yourself, baby."

"I always do, ma." I smiled a little; we go over this every time she calls.

"Kisses honey."

"Hugs, ma," and the line goes silent.

"Mooooom, I'm home!" I hollered out as loudly as I could. I left Alice home and dropped Rosalie off at her brother's house, where she was eating dinner with his family.

_Do-be-do-be-do-bap-bop_ I was murmuring as I put the two gallons of milk in the fridge and the steaks in the freezer. I put the ice cream under the éclairs and next to the freeze pops. Opening the right side of the fridge I took out a can of Coke and opened it, chugging a little bit down in a rapid wave of thirst. I left the bread and chips and celery outside, too lazy to put them in their place.

I jumped two stairs at a time, the caffeine working instantly, while humming my made-up song. _Do-ba-do-be-da-do-dee_

I swayed a little before opening the door of my room and dropping my bag on the floor. I turned on my laptop and blasted the music on shuffle on my iTunes library. I jammed my way to the bathroom and decided to check up on Aiden, just to see how she was doing. Even if Renee was sleeping, she wouldn't hear me crack the door open and check up on the baby.

I opened the door a bit and felt the room unnaturally cold. I pushed the door open completely and saw the light off, the shades closed off completely, and the room empty except for little Aiden, sleeping peacefully in her crib. I walked over to her as fast as I could, feeling her cheek for any signs of sickness, since she'd been in this room alone in the cold for God knows how long. I shook my head, expecting no less from Renee, with her carelessness.

I picked little Aiden up and snuggled her against me, trying to warm her up a little. A turned up the thermostat and set it ay 60 so the house could heat up. Leaving the door open to the room so the temperature could rise in it before putting Aiden back in the room to sleep, I walked back to my room.

Coming back into my room, I slid under the covers with Aiden resting on my rather large bosom as pillows, snuggling into my chest. I put the comforter over her so she could warm up faster; the poor baby was practically frozen! Moving into the bed more, snuggling into the two large pillows of the middle, I saw something move above me on top of the comforter. I picked up the piece of paper folded in half. I didn't remember leaving anything on the bed, maybe something fell out of Alice's AP History prep book.

Opening the page I didn't recognize it to be Ali's bubbly handwriting.

_Bella,_

_I can't do this anymore.  
I wasn't meant to take care of kids and stay at home.  
I'm going back to my old life, how I am happy living.  
I'm sorry I have to leave you like this.  
Please don't hate me, I already have tons of that.  
I'll come back one day, I promise._

_xoxo,  
Mommy Renee_

In all honesty, I wasn't surprised. I looked at the poorly written note and crumpled it up, throwing it to the other side of the room, where my waste basket was. I didn't care if it landed inside or not, just didn't want to see that in my face again. It made me angry, made my blood boil, to see her leaving Aiden like this. So defenseless, so needy of her motherhood. But Renee wasn't a mother; no, she could never be one. She cared too much about herself and not enough about anyone else to be a real mother.

I looked down at Aiden, her little fat cheeks pink and her long lashes tickling my skin, since she was so close. Her breathing was slow; her chest rose and fell with the movement of diaphragm. Wrapped around her pale green quilt, under the burgundy comforter of my bed, her little nose rubbed itself against the space over my heart. Somehow, I knew this had to happen. Something told me we were better off this way. I don't really know what to do from here on, but I'm sure I'll figure something out.

Graduation was around the corner, and I only had one AP exam left, so things would be easier than I expected. I don't think Jazzy would mind me taking her to class and SOTW meetings, and I could always skip every other class now that we had nothing to do. I had friends in the attendance office that could cover my back, and Mr. Carlisle was fond of me, so I could work that out, too. I'm sure he'd understand my circumstances and could make an exception.

For the time being, I didn't know what to do, but I was sure to think of something that could work out later. I didn't want to think right now. I didn't want to plan. I didn't want to lose myself in the treacherous land of _what if_ and _what would happen when_. I didn't need that at this instant. I closed my eyes and tried to see my Grams. I tried to think of what she would do in my place, what she did when she had to be me right now.

I saw her smile, somewhere foggy and contortioned; somewhere I couldn't go to ask questions face to face. But I know what I saw: Grams was with me.

I opened my eyes and looked down at Aiden, totally and completely unaware of anything that was happening.

I leaned down a little and placed a single feather-light kiss on top of her scantly blonde haired head.

I closed my eyes once more, and for the first time in a long time I can't remember, I did something I almost forgot how to do.

_I prayed._

* * *

**A/N: Hey, ya'll, it's been a while, I know! But I came back with this long chappie. I know, there're a million things going on, but it's supposed to be heavy!**

**Love you guys,  
~R Vorenus~**


	38. Out of Breath

I unwillingly stumbled out of bed and treaded down the stairs to answer the doorbell. It was a Saturday morning, I think maybe 6 or 7 AM, way too early for my liking. If I opened the door and saw Ali's grinning face, I would just as happily slam it back in its place and go back to bed. Grouchily thinking of the possibilities of an Alice or Rosalie attack this early on in the weekend, I stomped to the door and swung it open, about to yell "What the hell do you want?"

But thank goodness for that little area in our brains that has something called 'restraint'. It goes off like an obnoxious fire alarm, glowing red and shouting DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DON'T DO THAT!

Boy, am I happy I didn't.

A polite and warm smile was delicately painted on the face of a very young-looking older woman. I tried to rack my brain for the face and name of this lady with a small brown Louis Vuitton purse and matching luggage. I was at a loss, my neurons obviously working at a sluggish pace, not given enough time to fire up. Her face looked somewhat familiar. I didn't know from where I could place it, but distant and faded there were some traces I recognized.

Maybe she was a battered woman whom I helped when I volunteered in the abuse shelter. The humble women I knew wouldn't dress this fancy just to visit, though.

Maybe she was a homeless woman I gave food to at the Soup Kitchen. By the look of her, she must have made it big and got her life back into order.

Maybe she was the adoptive mother of an orphan brother or sister of mine. Maybe they ran away and they told her to look here first.

Or then again, maybe I was being mental and she was simply a saleslady waking me up extra early in the morning to try to get me to buy a Snuggie or something.

A little voice inside me told me that couldn't be possible. There was something in those eyes that I felt unnaturally comfortable with. A certain light beneath the emerald called out to me, but I didn't quite hear the message it was sending. The reddish-bronze color of her neatly picked up hair seemed to ring a bell somewhere in the dark basement of my memories. The soft features of her face, the rounded but pointed nose, the perfectly done eyebrows, the plump lips. Those threw me off.

"Good morning. You're Bella, yes?"

"Depends who's looking for me," I joked, still not knowing for sure who she was.

She laughed, shaking her head. That is when it hit me like a whoosh of ice-cold wind from a DC blizzard. She was now unmistakable to me. That's also when I realized I had my mother-in-law standing outside under the sun and heat of May in a suit and what looked to be 4-inch heels. Eyes widening a little, I cleared my throat and stepped aside to show her she was welcome.

"Please, come in, Mrs. Cullen. Make yourself at home." I said hurriedly, grabbing my bathrobe from the couch and putting it over the skimpy pajamas I was wearing.

"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Cullen—"

"You can call me Esme, dear," she smiled and sat on the couch. She was apparently amused by my attempt to contain the frantic panic spreading from my frontal lobe to the rest of my body. I moved back in an attempt to sit on the armchair that's behind the coffee table, but I tripped over a rattle and landed between the arm of the sofa and the chair. I slipped down onto the plush seat and smiled nervously, making a joke out of it.

"Sorry about that… I'm not the most coordinated person in the world," I shrugged. She seemed to be comfortable with me and sank back into the sofa. She eased up a bit, unbuttoned the first of four navy blue buds in a perfectly straight line.

"Don't worry about it, dear. I was never one to balance books atop my head and walk in a straight line, either."

I gave a nervous chuckle and laughed politely, thinking about how to start this potentially awkward conversation with —um, Esme.

"So, what brings you here so quickly, Esme? I wasn't expecting you for another couple of days. Edward told me you'd be coming sometime next week."

"He did? Oh, he must be losing his mind," she laughed, "I specifically told him I'd changed my flight because Wednesday's my eldest granddaughter's birthday Megan's going to be 4 years old." She seemed really excited; I'd had the vibe that she was one of those proud parents, but she really seemed to love her grandchild.

"How many grandchildren do you have, Esme? I mean, I don't want to be a snooper-arounder, but you seem too young to have any grandchildren in the first place, never mind more than one."

She smiled warmly and shook her head, "No, my young days have long gone. I have 3 grandkids. They are the most adorable children in the world. My youngest, Richard, is 6 months old and the middle one, Ruben, is 2 years old. They're the most hyperactive smurfs… Ruben looks a lot like his mother, and he reminds me so much of my other son," she shook her head, almost speaking to herself. I knew Edward had a sister, he'd mentioned that before; but he never mentioned having an older brother.

I realized too late that I expressed my thoughts aloud. Esme's face fell a little, even a fraction of an inch made her look years older than she was. I wanted to take my words back, shove them down my throat and clench my jaw shut. I saw the pain than twinkled dully in her eyes and knew it wasn't an older son Esme was speaking of. She was referring to Anthony.

"No, dear, he doesn't," she got ahead of me. I decided it was prudent to interrupt her so I could prevent any further sadness. It killed me to see Edward in pain, and there were some traces of him in his mother that I couldn't ignore. Somehow, it hurt me to see her suffering, too.

"I'm sorry, Esme… I really didn't mean to bring that up… It was my mistake… I… really…" I trailed off and tried my best to look sorry without making her feel sorrier.

She shook her head, not bothering to say anything like "It's okay" or "Don't worry about it", because it's not like she meant it. It wasn't okay that I just reminded her of her dead teenage son that she's never going to get back from the realm of the underworld. I'm not going to forget about it and not worry, because it's something Edward lived through and so I'd have to live with it and learn to console him every time the tragic conversation sprang up.

A graceful stranger saved me from that sad and potentially awkward situation by knocking on the door. I wasn't in the mood for any other visitors, but whoever it was, I was thankful for their presence right now. I got up slowly, trying not to seem too eager to get out of the conversation, and turned toward Esme.

"Uh, if you want, you can go ahead and check out the house or go upstairs and look at the guest bedroom. It's not as clean as I would like it to be, sorry about that, but I wasn't expecting you so soon. Leave your luggage so I can help you with it, I'll probably only be a minute or two," I shrugged.

She shook her head and smiled, seemingly forgetting the poopheaded mistake I just made, or pardoning it and moving on.

"It's all right, dear. I don't mind. I'm sure you're just exaggerating," she lightly laughed and headed toward the stairs. I turned toward the door and my heart stopped a second when I saw the mailman.

"Heyyyy, Bellaaaa!" He was young and new at the job, which explained the excessive enthusiasm he displayed for just about everything. I figured it would last a month or two more, and then he'd realize it wasn't what he signed up for.

"Hey, Rodnie. How's the summer heat treating you?" I smiled as he handed me a bunch of advertisements and bills and what was probably a letter from Edward (I hoped).

"Oh, please," he rolled his eyes, "It's only barely the start of June, child!"

I laughed and took the correspondence, waving goodbye with my other hand before closing the door and putting the mail on the couch. I picked up the luggage and bags that had been left neatly standing beside each other on the living room carpet and headed upstairs to see how Mrs. Cullen was doing.

Er, Esme… I kept forgetting she liked to be called by her first name.

Walking toward the guest bedroom, I laid the bags down in from of the door and opened my mouth to apologize once more for the mess that the room was. It hadn't been cleaned out and kept up to par since Renee was here for the cheap weeks she spent with us. I closed my mouth again without letting a syllable out as I noticed the room was vacant. I walked in and looked around, but there were no traces of Esme. I placed the luggage inside the room and took the opportunity to straighten out the bed sheets, open the curtains, and pick up any dirty laundry or excess crap that might be lying around.

With that done in a minute, I went outside to look for Edward's mom. I assumed she was in the bathroom, but the wooden door was open and again the room was empty. Now I was starting to get worried, because Esme was either the next Houdini or she was snooping through my room. I didn't take her for the type to do that, but you never know how crazy your perhaps-mother-in-law may be.

My room was empty, too, and the door didn't seem to have moved from the place I left it. The only room left was… No, she couldn't be there. How would she find her way there, anyway?

I made my way down the hall to the last room, next to mine, and was startled by Esme when she opened the door and walked out with a crying Aiden in her arms. She was trying to hush her, rubbing her back and swaying back and forth as she walked toward me. She seemed a little distressed, probably not used to holding a baby that didn't melt into her Givenchy-smelling chest.

"She keeps crying, I don't know what's wrong. I tried to calm her down, but she's probably scared of me since I'm a stranger," she said all motherly.

She handed me the light of my life and I took her in, embracing her tiny form dressed in a green jumper with polka dots.

"Aw, baby girl, don't be scared, I'm here. Don't worry now," I cooed into her the tiny shell of her ear, whispering it softly to give her the comfort and tranquility she needed. I rubbed her little cheeks and the back of her bald head and held her close on the crook of my neck. She cozied herself into the area and calmed down a bit, now only sobbing lightly as her breathing became slower. I gave her a few little kisses on the back of her smooth little head and opened the door to her room, closing the blinds and shutting the curtains to make it as dark as possible for her, to resemble night. The neon stars and planets above her new crib shimmered with the light from the hall and swayed in with the breeze of the opened door.

I held her as close to me as I could and secured her position as I straightened out the sheet covering her little mattress and smoothed it out in the middle where I would place her. I laid her down gently, trying to keep her asleep, and sneaked out of the room as quietly as I could, leaving the door open only a peep.

I walked back to an astonished Esme, who simply said, "Edward told me a lot of things about you, but I think he forgot to mention this…"

I sighed, shaking my head.

"She's not mine. I mean, she is now, but I'm not her mother."

Esme looked at me oddly and tried to piece together what I was saying. She looked confused enough for me to know I should explain this at a later time.

"It's a very long and complicate story that doesn't just involve a teenager and a newborn, so I think you should get yourself comfortable while I make lunch and then have the time to explain everything."

She nodded, still a little confused, "I think that would be the best option."

"I'm going to head down stairs and start getting something ready, if you don't mind. I brought up your things and set them in the room over there," I pointed, "You can watch TV or get freshened up if you'd like and come downstairs whenever you're ready. Like I said, make yourself at home," I tried to smile. She did the same, but she still looked worried.

I love first impressions.

I tuned up the baby monitor as loud as it could go and finished serving the green bean casserole when Esme floated down the carpeted stairs in a beige cotton dress. Again, I probably looked like a hobo in my sweats and my band tee, but I really wasn't in the mood for appearing to be what I'm not with my boyfriend's mom.

I smiled at her as she sat down on the chair directly opposite to me and waited for me to sit to serve her plate. We went through that in silence until I picked up my fork to take a bite.

"Bella, if you don't mind, I know I'm the guest and this is your house, and you have your own rules, but I always like to give thanks before I eat. I would be really honored if you would join me," she stretched out her hand toward me and I took it, not really knowing what to say. I just nodded and bowed my head when she did too, and followed along.

"Heavenly Father, I thank you in this moment, Lord Jesus, for having the opportunity to share something so sacred as a meal, with Bella. Thank you, Father, for providing these dishes, and Lord, bless the hands that have prepared them, and multiply them as needed for those that do not have any. Bless us, Lord Jesus, and bless this wonderful food we are privileged to have. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

I blinked again and again through her grace, not really being accustomed to doing this. I remember Edward telling me about her religious fervor, but I thought maybe it was only when he was a child.

She let go of my hand and smiled, taking a bite out of the steak and praising me for my chef skills. I humbly accepted the compliment and waited until I chewed down to start explaining the situation. I started from the beginning, with Grams, and how I never really knew Renee. Then I explained the band thing, and how she came back knocked up, which is pretty much the last part of the story.

"So I found a note saying she was leaving. There wasn't an explanation or anything, just a quick careless scribble."

"Oh, that's just terrible, sweetheart," she said as she huddled closer to me on the sofa over some tea and cookies. She put her arm around me, as delicately as she looked, and gave me a half-hug.

I shrugged a bit, feeling strangely comforted with her gesture and proximity, like a long-lost aunt I never had, or a family member I just discovered.

"Yeah," I said looking into my coffee and swishing it around, "I wasn't surprised, though. If she was never there for me when I was growing up, what were the chances she'd stay around and take care of Aiden? I mean, she practically dropped me off at Gram's doorstep when she gave birth to me, so she abandoned Aiden at my doorstep when she got the chance."

"Honey, that's a terrible thing. I wish I knew how to contact her so we could talk some sense into her. It's always such a sad thing when the greatest human love of a mother is wasted and thrown away." She shook her head and looked as if she was lamenting something, which would have bothered me if I thought she was pitying me, which she wasn't.

"I don't hold resentment for her, though. Renee's kind of like my surrogate mother. Grams is my real mom as far as I'm concerned, so it's not like it hurts or anything. I learned from a young age that Renee doesn't care about anyone but herself, so she never takes me by surprise. It just bothers me she never gave Aiden a chance, you know," she nodded, "Because she's such a beautiful little creature, I don't know how you can't love her…"

Esme smiled, giving me a tighter hug and looking into my eyes, "You're going to be a wonderful mother one day, Bella. I can feel it."

I smiled and didn't really know what to say to that, because I agreed in part, but didn't want to give her the impression that I was eager to have Edward's babies. So we fell into the easy flow of conversation and I asked as many questions as I could so she couldn't ask me too much I wasn't ready to let her know about me. I didn't want to lie, but some truths were probably not on her to-hear list. She told me about Anthony, which I already knew, but just listened to again from a mother's perspective.

The way Edward spoke about it was almost as if he had lost a part of himself, but the way Esme made it seem, she lost her entire self.

I felt too involved in the story, almost as if I'd known Anthony all my life and this was just a recount of the bitter moment he left us. _Us_. I was already becoming part of this foreign nucleus I had never known years back. They're almost contagious, the Cullen copper-heads. There was just something about them that pulled you in and kept you there forever. It was a certain familiarity that I'd never known, only with Grams.

I heard the scratchy cries from the baby monitor and knew it was time to check up on Aiden. I looked over at the monitor and frowned a little, wondering what she needed.

"Sorry, Esme, but duty calls," I smiled and she let go of me slowly.

She looked at the large clock in the living room and smiled back at me, "It's getting late. I'm going to go take a shower, all right?"

"Yeah, that sounds perfect. Actually, I'm planning on taking you out to dinner tonight, so it would be great if we could start getting ready this early," I said standing up, "I'll probably bathe Aiden after I figure out what she wants."

I jogged up the stairs and picked up by beautiful little babycackes, as I called her, puffy cheeks and cuteness and all innocent wonder.

"Whattya want, you?" I said to her playfully and lifted her off the bed. I carried her and felt her pampers, instantly knowing we she had woken up. It was heavy in there. Passing through to my room, I crossed paths with Esme in a plush white bathrobe.

"Very nice," I nodded in passing with Aiden propped on my waist.

She giggled girlishly and strutted toward the bathroom. I opened my room and took Aiden to the bathroom, where I laid her down on top of a towel on the counter, and took off her clothes and diaper.

"Woooh, that's a shmelly, babeh!" I told her as I scrunched up my face. She graced me with a gurgly giggle and a drooly smile. I waited for the water to warm up and placed her in the tiny special baby tub I bought her to minimize any risks of accidents. I lathered her tiny form up in the violet-smelling bubbly water and rinsed her off, taking a big fuzzy obnoxious purple towel to wrap around her body and dry her. I propped her on my waist again, wrapped around a smaller towel and took her outside to her room, where I had her clothes.

I walked my baby girl out of the room, but instead of making a turn for her bedroom, I walked to the guest room where something seemed to be ringing, or going off, or something. I went to investigate and noticed that Esme's phone was blinking a number and loudly playing an unknown song. I picked it off the table and walked toward the bathroom.

"Esme?" I shouted.

"What, Bella?" I heard muffled back.

"Your phone's ringing!"

"What?"

"Your phone! It's ringing!"

"Who is it?"

"Doesn't have a name!"

It sounded like she shut the water off and slid the door to the side.

"Just pick it up, it's probably a telemarketer or something. Don't worry about it, go ahead."

I pressed the green button on the Blackberry and said a simple, "Hello?" into the phone.

"Esme? MY GOD! FINALLY YOU PICK UP THE PHONE LOOK YOU NEED TO—" I tried to understand the words spouting from the other end, but they were all jumbled and hurried, and I couldn't decipher them. I could, however, recognize the voice.

"Emmett…?" I suddenly felt very out of breath.

* * *

**A/N: So I made it chunky because I know you'd kick me out of FanFiction for making it less than 1k. I hope you enjoyed the comeback and don't hate me for the cliffhanger. If you do, oh well, I love you for putting up with me anyway.**

**Loves, you make my day brighter. Please tell me what you thought of it!**

**Forever,**

**~R Vorenus~**


	39. I Knew

"Uh… hello?" He said uncertainly. "Is this…er… Esme?"

I dumbly handed over the phone to her when the door opened and she walked out. She looked confused; she was probably wondering why _I_ looked confused, and took the phone a little dumbfounded.

"Yes?" she said into the cell phone, with her eyebrows furrowed. She stayed a while with that expression and I was beginning to think something was wrong. I couldn't fathom that there could be a problem with Edward, but the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach was too great to dismiss the thought. I felt as if I was sweating although it was fresh inside the house; there were waves of heat that rolled through my body and made me shiver in the worst possible ways.

Then I saw her expression and knew my feminine intuition was right.

Her hand flew to her mouth and I heard her sharp intake of breath that pulled the oxygen out of my lungs, if there was any left there. The blood pounded out of my heart and pulsated through my body, reminding me I was still alive and in real time, even if I felt as if my insides had burned themselves the ash. I saw her fumbling through words, sputtering different ones out of her mouth without really making sense.

"I… I… I understand," she nodded. "No, I won't… I promise, I won't," she shook her head. "Thank you, Emmett." She hung up the phone and looked up at me, worry and something else tainting her glance. I couldn't discern what that something else was, but whatever it could have been didn't matter because the worry overshadowed it.

"Esme," I whispered, slowly. "What's going on…?"

"Nothing, sweetie, it's…nothing." She sighed and squeezed my hand. She looked down at the floor, for some reason she couldn't hold my gaze.

"Esme, I know that's not true," I said attempting to keep my voice level, without cracking with fear.

"Bella, dear, let's put Aiden in her crib," she said slowly, taking my sister from my arms and carrying her toward the room. I stared dumbly after, rooted to my place and looking around, trying to fill my mind with something, anything to make me feel like myself again.

After a while, Esme came out to find me the same way she left me: quiet and solemn. Walking back toward me, she tried to smile, but failed.

"Bella, that was Emmett. He called to let me know that Edward was," she took a deep breath and cleared her throat, "Edward was wounded."

I looked at her in disbelief, not knowing what to assume.

"Is he…?" was all I could manage to say.

"He's fine. Just a little weak."

I nodded, not feeling any conciliation from her words.

"He's still in surgery, so Em took it upon himself to call me and let me know."

I nodded and sighed, turning away from her, heading toward my room, fearing the worst.

* * *

The days passed in a blur of awkwardness and silence, Esme and I trying to make each other feel somewhat at ease, never really being able to do so. We went through D.C. pointing and nodding at landmarks and sighed and lightly smiled at statues. The city wasn't very crowded during the week, except for the college students doing a protest near the Lincoln Memorial. Even that didn't spark enough attention to keep my mind turning in another direction. I tried to keep her company as often as I could, but I inevitably had to pass by the school twice to check up on my records and ensure nobody was missing me. I had spoken to Jazz and Alice almost every day, so there were no worries in that regard. Yet, I knew I would have to confront the authorities of the Attendance Office eventually if they got suspicious. The ladies that worked the front desk would cover for me if anything, but a visit was needed nonetheless, at least to shower them with thanks and small gifts.

The day I chose to grace them with my ungraceful presence, I brought the office a bouquet of gladioli (which I finally learned to keep after failing miserably during Grams' life) and some other medley of feminine white flowers I picked up along the way. Needless to say, they were more excited about the red velvet cake than the flowers, but thanked me for both. I spoke to a few administrators and showed off Aiden to every soul that had eyes, but mentioned nothing of being her new primary caretaker. To everyone's knowledge, she was simply the most affectionate—and quirt—baby they had met. After considerable fawning from adults and much begging to carry her from students (which I politely denied), I went to the Records Hall and made sure I touched base with my friends. My attendance record was spotless and my GPA had not changed a fraction since I last actually went to class. My professors had been asking questions, but Dr. Carlisle had, as I suspected, taken to ensuring they were pleased with a simple response and did not ruin my senior year. All was well in the educational sphere, it seemed, to nicely counteract the mess that had become my emotional life. I took that as a good sign—karma wasn't punishing me entirely, so that must mean I wasn't an entirely horrible person; there was an upside after all!

It didn't feel like that, though. I sensed Esme wandering once or twice while we walked down a park near my house on the evenings we began accustomed to sharing in reflective silence. But, who could blame her? I was probably acting the same way. We were both distracted and it felt as if we were simply bodies occupying physical space, since we had retracted into the world of our own minds.

Dinner was a terrible experience; we both moved around the food in our plates and played with the utensils without even trying the food. I didn't feel like making small talk, so I just idly hung on to every word the TV spouted. Every so often I would have to tear my eyes away from the screen to reassure Esme that her prolonged stay was fine with me in lieu of her apologies and claims of intrusion. I jokingly threatened to hide her luggage if she apologized one more time, reassuring her that she could stay as long as she wanted. Even though what led to her being there for so long were the most undesirable circumstances, she was a refreshing house guest besides the spluttering, adorable drooling baby that was my permanent roommate.

We were both on edge, not having heard from either Emmett or Edward during the passing days. Sitting in silence, as we did, fidgeting and hoping that any minute we would get word, the living room became charged with an uncomfortable anxiety, despite the comedies playing on TV. After a couple of hours in front of the plasma, I went to check on Aiden. When I came back, I could tell Esme was uneasy and tired, so I told her it would be okay with me if she went to bed. I knew she was worried about me, too. I shrugged it off and told her she should probably go rest and get things off her mind that way.

"I'll be fine, really." I reassured her.

She didn't look too convinced, but stood and gave me a warm hug before treading up the stairs.

I didn't feel like going to my room, so I decided to lay on the couch and watch a flash-boom-pow-crash version of _Armageddon_ that was playing on The History Channel. After dozing in and out of all the possible re-runs of _Ancient Discoveries _I was starting to confuse my dreams with the reality of my milliseconds of awakened consciousness.

It was kind of trippy, if I do say so myself. Colors everywhere, music playing from all kinds of sources, lights. Somewhere in the distance I heard a fire truck; a dog barking; a knock. It seemed very…far. I waltzed to the door and opened it, my long white dress fluttering in the wind; I letting the pretty light wash into my house and turn into flowing blankets.

Wait, there was the knock again. This time it wasn't far, it was close by… Too close by. I blinked a couple of times, trying to awaken and took a second to breathe in awareness again, lightly moving my head in the direction of the door. I rolled off the couch onto the ground and heard the polite knock again.

Wow, I couldn't believe it was morning already and the mailman had goodies for me.

I stumbled to the door and fumbled with the lock. I swung it open and smiled brightly at the postman.

Hold on, this wasn't right. It was still dark outside. This person had on a black hat and was standing with bags, but—MY GOD. My heart stopped.

"Hi, I'm looking for Superwoman. They told me she lived here. You know her?"

As soon as the buzz-cut head tipped back and the nearest street light illuminated the emeralds I held in my heart, I knew.

I knew. Even if it didn't make sense, even if my brain was still asleep, I knew.

"What the f—?" I was cut off by the feeling of sweet heaven dropping down and crashing onto my lips, and at that moment, speech stopped being necessary.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the delay! A College student is always too busy to bear! But I'll try to update as soon as possible! **

**By the way, I want to welcome the new members of the LTSL family! We love ya'll!**

**I know I scared the life out of you with the other cliffy, but this is hopefully enough for you to live with until I update again!**

**Always yours,  
~R Vorenus~**


	40. The Wounds Were Still Fresh

Yawning, I turned to the side and snuggled my face into the softness of the pillow below my head. Mmmmm, sleep. Nothing hits the spot like the instant when my eyes are closed and I'm lying in bed with a blank mind. It's that state in between consciousness and the sweet unknown of drowsiness, the seconds before waking smoothly. I stretched, enveloped by my comforter and another blanket.

I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror; damn, I was a hot mess this morning. The redness in my eyes and the disheveled status of my hair made it look a step less than a maniac. I washed my face and brushed my teeth in an attempt to freshen up and wake out of my haze.

I stretched and yawned again and reflected on the weird dreams I had the night before. I laughed as I hung my towel up on the bar and shook my head. How strange they were. Almost to the point of ridiculous… Maybe even hysterically funny. Edward showing up at my doorstep at the middle of the night. That was the weirdest dream I've ever had. Very pleasant, but not real enough to make me happy. I kept laughing to myself and went to check on Aiden.

I creeped across the hallway and peeked through the door. My little girl was sleeping peacefully, the look on her face unequaled by anything else in the world. I walked in and closed the door behind me lightly. I reached over the crib and picked up the blanket, tucked her in so that she didn't get too cold, or woke up crying. I lightly caressed her little face and walked out again, headed toward the kitchen.

I walked downstairs to make breakfast, noticing that the sun was shining through the small window of my kitchen, illuminating the tabletop and refracted on the floor, making the yellowish tint reflect off the floor across the room and gave it a glowing look. I took out the pans for the eggs, bacon, and olive oil. Rummaging through the refrigerator, I found pancake batter. Somehow, I felt good today, and the beginning of a good way always began with a good breakfast. That dream I had last night made me wake feeling hopeful for Edward's next return and a little more positive about his recovery.

I cranked up the volume of my iPod speakers and started to wiggle around as I made some scrambled eggs, sprinkling some salt over them as I served different plates for Esme and I. Moonwalking back to the cabinets, I took out the coffee, then went to the fridge and took out the butter. My morning playlist was doing nothing to bring me down, and I felt like I could go out into the world and finally reach world peace. I felt like I could conquer the world and save as many people as there needed to be saved, all before lunchtime. I put the bacon next to the eggs and started to make the pancakes. I made them golden on the outside and attempted to keep them soft on the inside, well-cooked and spongy.

I decorated the plates nicely and put them on the table, pouring some orange juice and a glass of milk for each one of us and placing a little white vase with some yellow flowers in the center. I turned down the music and cleaned up, quickly leaving everything behind when I heard Aiden crying. I was used to it by this point, because she was always hungry and cranky in the mornings; it was just strange that she would be up this early on a Sunday. The earliest she would ever wake was on Monday mornings. I usually checked up on her before I went to school, but she's always asleep before I take her to Jake's house. His mom had been so wonderful throughout all of this; Grams had practically raised her along with Renee when she was a child, too. Besides, if there could be anyone I trust more than her to take care of Aiden, it's myself.

I dashed up the stairs with a little spring in my step and made my way to her room again. I opened the door again and picked her up from her crib, making sure to bring her blanket with me and place it over my shoulder, laying her on top of it. I tried to rock her back and forth and paced around the room with her, but she wouldn't stop crying. I looked inside her pamper, but she was dry. I lifted her from my shoulder and looked her face, making sure she didn't look sick, or she didn't hit herself on the crib overnight.

I kept inspecting her, but nothing seemed to be wrong. She cried harder, and I listened, trying to decipher what she wanted. It wasn't food, because her food cry was so much more poignant and shrill. It wasn't a painful cry, because those were deep and the long-lasting. What did my baby want?

I tried to soothe her by rubbing her back and whispering a low shhhh, but even that didn't work. I tried to hum her a lullaby, but that didn't seem to work either.

"You know, you're not getting her at all."

I turned around slowly, trying not to aggravate Aiden any more. I held my breath and blinked as I looked at the lips that were uttering those words. They were so perfect, they were almost unreal. Then, those eyes. Those burning orbs that took the soul right out of my body and stole it away. Those eyes that made me feel like the universe would be incomplete if they did not burn with the other constellations.

"What would you know about babies?" I arched an eyebrow, containing myself from bursting with happiness.

"A little less than you, but enough," he smiled coyly. He limped forward and took the wailing child from my arms, placing her on his shoulder.

"Hey there, baby," he whispered tenderly. He gave her a little peck on the cheek and made a funny face, like he'd just had a sour patch. Aiden's cries became lighter and she looked almost as if she was going to giggle.

"Oh, that's salty! Did you know that, baby? Your tears are saltier than the Caspian Sea," he cooed and gave her another little peck on the forehead. I stood motionless, resting against the crib, simply contemplating the scene before me. He found his way to the rocking chair in the semi-dark room.

He started rocking back and forth slowly, creating his own peaceful rhythm.

His big hands didn't seem so strong anymore as he caressed Aiden's baldish head and her tiny fat arms. His harsh jaw line didn't seem that poignant resting atop Aiden's softly rounded head. His voice didn't sound nearly as harsh as it was when he commanded others to do drills; it was smooth and low, almost like caramel dripping over vanilla ice cream.

Her little cries started to subside and she started to sob loudly, but not wail. "Oh, no, baby, don't cry… I thought you'd be happy to see Uncle Edward for the first time. Oh, it makes me so sad that I don't have your approval. Now Momma Bella's never going to want me back…" he shook his head slightly, hugging her tightly and looking serious. He peeked over her and looked at me, making me laugh silently. He looked like a little boy when he did things like that, it was too cute for me to resist.

He kept cooing and shushing Aiden until she was quiet and I could see her little back rising and falling. He got up slowly, flinching a little when he pushed down on his left leg. He rocked his torso back and forth standing in place when she stirred, then made his way to the crib. Standing next to me, he laid her down and took the blanket from my shoulder, placing it on Aiden again.

"She just needed a harder surface to rest on. My shoulder's broader, she got more space," he whispered.

"How did you—?" Edward quickly clasped his hand over my mouth and I bit my bottom lip. I looked at Aiden, but she didn't seem to be disturbed by my loudness. I chuckled lightly and walked out of the room as quietly as I could. Edward made his way behind me silently and closed the door inaudibly. We made our way down the hall and stood in front of the door to Esme's guest room.

"She's one beautiful baby. I daresay she takes after her sister," he smiled lightly, lacing his fingers through mine.

I stood before him and simply stared. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say.

"Edward…" It felt so good to be able to utter his name and not have it disappear with the rest of my hopes and dreams on a dark night. His smile grew greater by the second until I could see some perfect teeth showing.

"My goodness, I hate you right now," I sighed and wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head against his chest.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around my back. "Why is that?"

"You scared the life out of me." I sounded like I was reprimanding him for doing something he wasn't supposed to, but I felt as if he had some sort of explaining to do after the brief period of panic I suffered when I heard he was hurt.

"I know," he sighed. "Mom told me you two were going through Hell last night before I showed up. I told Emmett not to do that crap… But the idiot never listens," he shook his head.

I pulled away a little and looked at him.

"What?"

"I got hurt during one of the ops, so they let me come home earlier. I still have to do training, but that's not for another couple of weeks until I'm totally rehabilitated. I was going to surprise you, but Emmett just messed everything up by pretending I was half dead or something. That little chit is such a Drama Queen."

I laughed and hugged him closer again, relishing in the feel of his warm body being materialized before me.

"I missed you." I said in a little voice I didn't recognize to be mine.

"You have no idea," he sighed into my hair. We stayed like that for a couple of minutes, just basking in the miracle that was being united.

"Um, Edward?"

"Yes, love?"

"I know you're all romantic and whatnot right now, but that scent of bacon is traveling up the stairs very, very quickly and I don't think my stomach can resist such delicious temptation."

He busted out in laughter and shook his head. "I'm not surprised. I was waiting for it, actually. Took a little longer than I expected, though," he said, grinning. He took my hand and led me down the stairs.

I sat next to him and took out the syrup for the pancakes, setting it between us on the table. I salted my scrambled eggs and took a bite.

"I like the cut," I said between bites and looked at his nearly shaved head.

He chuckled and swallowed a mouthful of bacon and pancakes.

"I didn't really have a choice. My hair was getting too long and they don't like that over at our place. It's grown back quick, though, if you don't like it like this," he said, looking insecure for the briefest of moments. I laughed at him and drank some juice.

"It's different," I shrugged, putting my hand on his nearly bald head and rubbing his scalp a little.

I remember the last time we were together; I was able to run my hand through the beautiful locks he used to have. Damn, I was nearly jealous of his hair. I wish mine was so naturally awesome without having to do so many things to keep it orderly through the day.

"But it doesn't make a difference to me," I smiled at him and he leaned forward to give me a peck on the lips.

We finished with our plates and Edward picked them up, insisting that he should make himself useful if I was going to have him stay with me (and have to "deal with" Esme, as if that was a problem at all).

As he walked to the sink, I couldn't help but asking, "So, are you planning on telling me what's up with your leg?"

"I got hurt," he shrugged nonchalantly and turned around.

"Thanks for stating your observation, Captain Obvious," I nodded sharply.

"You're very welcome, Sergeant Sarcasm," he nodded and his eyebrows furrowed in mock sternness.

"No, seriously," I said through our laughter.

He shrugged again, "Well, we were conducting an operation in a serious Taliban hot spot and I was being an asswipe with Emmett, so I got caught off guard. We scrambled around, I pushed one of the newbs into the car, but I didn't have enough time to duck away. I was running toward the nearest post, but the bastard was quicker than me. When flesh and bullets meet, bullets win. The shot went through my calf," he said and bent down. He pulled up the left leg of his beige cargo pants and peeled off the bandaging slowly. When he finished, I could see the entry and exit wounds clearly; the bullet had gone straight through the back of his calf, it had entered through the right side and exited through the left.

The wounds were still fresh and looked tender, making me wince at the vicarious pain. Some blood started to seep through the right side and I cursed, taking the bandages and cleaning it up provisionally. I motioned with my head for us to go upstairs and escorted Edward through my room, right into to the bathroom.

"Pardon the mess, it's been a while since I took care of the organization in here," I said before closing the door behind us. I rolled up my sleeves and picked up my messy waves of hair into a bun so that I could get Edward cleaned up. I took out all the First Aid materials in my drawers, which actually surprised me, and washed my hands well with antibacterial soap.

"Can you please roll up your pants let again?" I asked as I put on a pair of gloves.

He nodded and smiled a funny little smile. "Are you always this hygienic with everything?"

"Na, just with the things that involve blood and could possibly result in nasty infections or worse complications. I'm the only person I know that has pierced their own nose and has not had any problems with it." I said matter-of-factly.

"You have a pierced nose?"

"I did. But then I just stopped wearing the stud and it closed up again. I did such a good job taking care of it, there isn't even scarring. I told you, I had a crazy junior year and summer." I chuckled at his expression that was somewhere between amazed, concerned, and in love.

"Badass," he nodded and watched as I put pressure on the side that started bleeding. I began to disinfect both sides of the wound and hummed a random song as he watched, almost entranced.

"You're awfully good at this. Should I be worried about you having another soldier around here you patch up while I'm gone?" he said, attempting to be funny.

"Oh, lots. I have a little illegitimate military service right here in my home as I raise my baby sister and finish senior year at the top 3% of the class. BAM! That's the secret I've been keeping from you all this time." I shook my head and we laughed together.

"The only reason why I know how to do this so well is because I had to go through something similar once. It's not really a big deal though. Not an interesting story at all."

"Bullshit. This sounds like it's one of those wild novelesque adventures of Isabella."

I laughed hard at that and placed the pieces of gauze where they belonged.

"Long story short, D.C. isn't exactly the safest place during the wee hours of the morning. Pass me the bandage and the tape, please?" He handed them to me and I continued.

"Well, Ali and Rose decided we should go to a fancy shmancy restaurant smack in the middle of Downtown, but we kind of stayed out a little too late and had to take the metro back. We got mugged two blocks away from Rose's place. Turns out, these two guys were following us since we got on the train and were trailing behind us when we got out. Get me the scissors, please. Thanks." I cut the tape and lowered his pants leg.

"Rose got a concussion; Alice suffered a couple broken ribs and a fractured elbow. I got stabbed since I was the sober one that charged at them trying to defend the others. I had to treat my own wound after I went to the hospital and got fixed up by James."

Edward looked like he was just about to explode.

"Do you remember what they looked like? Did the police find them? You got names I can work with?" he said in a dangerous tone.

I shook my head with a sad little smile. "No, love. It's over. They were caught later on for possession of drugs anyway. When they were in the station I got called because one of them still carried my wallet. Dumbass," I snorted. "They took our things, but at least they didn't take our lives," I said thankfully.

Edward cupped my face and placed a long, powerful kiss on my lips. I felt everything he had pour into the kiss and dreaded having to pull back. Our foreheads met and he whispered, "Show me where it happened."

I nodded slowly and moved away from him. I sat up on my knees and pulled up the band tee I was wearing, lifting it up until my third rib. There, between the last rib on the bottom and the one on top of it was a glossy scar reminding me of my own little survival story. There it lay, two and a half inches of damaged flesh that had regenerated and marked itself upon my body forever.

Edward's eyes were big and round, looking between my scar and my eyes. He slowly dipped down and placed a small kiss on the scar.

"You're your own warrior, Bella," he said looking deep inside me, falling through my mind and finding things in my heart I didn't know I had. I smiled wryly and noticed that something else caught his attention. Right above the scar, to the far left side, there was a bit of black ink peeking. Instantly, a smirk came onto his face and he looked between me and the ink as a child looks between his parents and a Christmas present.

"May I…?" he said, reverently. I nodded slowly. It was time he saw.

Edward's warm hand slid slowly up my side, pulling my tee with it. When he reached the end of the tattoo, he stopped and brought his other hand to my skin. He traced the tribal eagle's black outlined figure with green stains for its eyes.

"It's beautiful," he said quietly, still transfixed with by homage to him. He ran his thumb over the whole thing and looked up at me with wonder in his eyes.

"Why the eagle?"

I shrugged, "It reminds me of you. You're a fighter. You're fierce. You're also one that's part of a species that's soon to be extinct. You're a real gentleman," I smiled. He traced it one last time and let my shirt drop down again. He grabbed my hand and we left the bathroom, and then settled on my bed. We laid beside each other, looking at one another face to face. I brought my hand to his face and lightly brushed the back of my fingers against his cheek.

Even as I did it, it felt unreal. I was scared that any moment, he would melt away into the gloom of my unconscious and I would wake alone, with the burning sensation of disappointment ripping through my body. But, that wasn't the case.

My Edward was here. He really _was_ here.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for any delays! Hope I didn't make too many mistakes and it's readable. I hope you enjoyed it and had the same fuzzy feeling I did throughout the whole thing. Or maybe that happens when I think about Marineward, regardless of the chapter. I'm really happy to see that we've gotten this far with the story. It all started small, but you have all inspired me to do so much more! Thank you!**

**You all make my world go round with your support. I love you!**

**Always yours,**

**~R Vorenus~**


	41. For Finding Me

"Your mother-in-law has been awfully quiet this morning," Edward observed jokingly. I rolled my eyes at him and playfully jabbed my elbow into his rib as we left my room.

"She's probably just exhausted. You have no idea the amount of energy that little scare took from us," I shook my head, still a little mad for having been alerted falsely. I knew it wasn't his fault, that I should be blaming Emmett for it, but just remembering the shock and the worry was enough to upset me.

"But, nothing happened," he said, soothingly, "I am right here, I'm breathing the same oxygen you are, and nothing serious went down." He shrugged and looked straight at me, trying to convince me to forget about it.

"I know, and I'm very grateful for that," I explained. "It still doesn't change the fact that your mother looked like she would faint any minute and I couldn't think straight."

"But it's over now… Stop thinking about it!" He smiled and took one of my cheeks into his palm. Before opening the door to Esme's provisional sleeping arrangement, he lightly kissed my forehead and brushed my hair behind my ear. I smiled almost instantly, noticing that it was such an automatic reflex when I was with him.

Edward peeked into the door and opened it wider when he realized there was no one in the room. I walked into the room and looked around, making sure it was really empty. I turned to Edward a little baffled.

"Did your mom really run away from my house? Is my company that bad?" I joked, but still seriously wondered where Esme had gone.

He laughed and shook his head, wrapping an arm around my waist and leading me out of the room and down the stairs.

"Your company's not _that _bad…" he said playfully as I looked offended and lightly slapped his chest. He gave me an innocent look and shrugged as if he was a little boy, unaware of the reason for which he was being reprimanded. That look always got me, even if I tried to look tough and ignore it.

Grinning broadly, he laid down on the couch and settled among plush cushions.

"Hey, that's not fair, I have nowhere to sit!"

He looked at me with an arched eyebrow and patted his lap with a tiny smirk, conscious of the fact that I was not going to reject the offer. Smiling and shaking my head, I tried to not look overly eager and settled into his open arms, laying atop him.

"You do realize that your body is going to go numb after," I looked at my watch and made a funny expression, then looked back up at him, "About 5 minutes, right?"

He gave me a disbelieving look, amused with his lips pursed together in an exaggeration. "Please, Bella, I bench four of you in every arm."

"I will have you know that you are laying directly under one-hundred-and-sixty-one pounds of pure awesome. It gets heavy." I said matter-of-factly. Raising another eyebrow, his tongue lightly slipped between his lips, resting on the right side as he studied me over my shoulder.

"Now, where does all that weight go?" He asked flirtatiously, running both hands down my sides and resting them on my outer thighs.

"Do you _really_ want to know that?" I asked, looking a little disgusted and horrified as I reached over him to pick up the remote. Looking at the coffee table, I realized that there was an empty glass of milk settled on the corner.

"Hmm, Esme must have been awake while we were upstairs. I mean, _I_ didn't leave this here," I commented to Edward.

He nodded distractedly, stealing the control remote from me and switching from _The_ _History Channel_ to _Spike_.

"She always takes a good run in the morning; she didn't just up-and-leave. Don't take it too personally, even if you have awful taste in television," he joked as I tried to retrieve the remote, but he held it far away with his incredibly long arm span. I huffed and crossed my arms, much like Rose would do whenever I dragged her away from a fashionable store whose name I am always unable to pronounce.

Edward looked at me from the corner of his eye and smiled tightly, an expression I knew all too well. Without giving me time to run away and escape his ambush, his hand was already buried in my hair and he rushed to bring my head down, bringing his face up to place his moist lips against mine and attack my mouth. Almost naturally, I started suckling on his bottom lip, knowing it would drive him crazy. His arms, as I knew they would, quickly began to wrap themselves around my waist and held me tightly to him, crushing me against the back of the couch as we shifted awkwardly on furniture that was much too small for an eager couple.

Taking a minute to breathe, I pulled back and gasped as much air as I could in order to keep going at it. At that point, I was too lost in the sensation of Edward's lips on my neck and his hands on my hips to recognize that we were in real time and space. Without really thinking or making use of the brain cells nature has provided me with, my instincts took over and I lifted his shirt, feeling the defined muscles on his back under my long, slim fingers as I made my way over his neck and discarded the long-sleeved disturbance somewhere on my floor.

"You are _so hot_," he whispered into my ear, biting the lobe as one of his hands made its way up my side once more and sneaked down to my lower back, pressing me closer to him. I quickly took possession of his lips again as he caressed the back of my calf and brought his hand up, hastily bringing my leg to his hip, where it wrapped itself around his body at a scary velocity.

His hand slid under my large t-shirt and froze below my rib the second we heard an indignant intake of breath and the "Oh, my goodness…" that followed it.

The air in my lugs ceased to exist. My heart did not believe in beating. My brain decided to pause itself and go on a miniature vacation to Hell. As if the situation could not become any more awkward, Esme stood motionless at the door, staring in shock at the inappropriate scene before her eyes. All she could do was stare. She said nothing, just looked at us both in disgust.

Somehow, she had come through the door without either of us noticing, to find that not only was her son in a compromising position, but there were things about him she did not know, and was better off not discovering.

* * *

Stoically shoving her clothes back into her bags, she swept the room for her personal belongings.

"Mrs. Cullen, this really isn't necessary… really… it was just…" I tried to look for words that could explain my current condition, but everything seemed wrong once I laced it together. There really was no explanation besides the obvious.

"I do not need for you to explain anything, Isabella. Edward is a grown man and his decisions speak for themselves." She sharply spat that at me as she went into the closet to gather her shoes.

"I'm very, er, sorry, for… having to make you witness that, I just… you know… this is really, just, very… um," I looked at Edward for help, but he looked distraught and angry, somehow both coexisting in his burning green eyes.

Ignoring me, she took her luggage and her bags with her, racing down the stairs. I ran after her, trying to form coherent sentences.

"Please, Mrs. Cullen, at least let me drive you to… wherever it is that you're going, I—"

"No, Isabella," she said sternly. "I don't need anything from you right now. I just need to go back home and begin to understand where it was in Edward's childhood that I ruined him. I need to sit down with a cup of tea and think about the precise moment where I did him wrong and regret it bitterly!" she practically hissed, half-turned without looking at us, holding the doorknob as she opened the door to leave.

"Mrs. Cullen, with all due respect—"

"This is not the time for respect. There is nothing respectful about this. If _either_ of you would be respectful, if my _son_ would be respectful, he would not look the way he does. If he had one single cell of respect in his body, he would spare his mother the hurt and the heartbreak of being this person I don't know. This is not my Edward Anthony. This is not _my son_."

"I don't understand, what do you—"

"How _could_ you understand?" she narrowed her eyes and stalked out, turning toward the bus and stopping on the corner of my block.

"Why did she… what was that… I don't—"

"Let me handle this," Edward huffed, marching toward his mother as I caught up to them outside the steps of my home. They were standing in the corner facing each other, Edward towering over Esme, making her seem as if she was the one being lectured. It was clear, even from where I was standing, that they were arguing fervently about something. After the horrible things she had said to me, I figured as much without having to listen to them. They both made different hand motions and rash movements to prove their points. Esme shook her head furiously and looked at me, then turned around.

Looking upset beyond comprehensible measures, Edward stalked back with a little limp that downgraded his badass by about 10 levels. I tried not to laugh because of the seriousness of the moment, but in my mind I was already making and storing jokes to use for later. I walked into the house before he even got to the door and sat in one of the kitchen chairs. Slamming the door behind him, Edward came into the kitchen with pure death in his eyes.

"I need a drink." He said as he breathed in deeply and exhaled with superhuman force.

"What exactly was she pissed about?" I asked as I opened the liquor cabinet Renee had once stocked and placed a bottle of scotch between us on the table, handing him a glass and taking one for myself.

He uncapped it and poured himself a considerable amount of amber liquid. I took some and started to sip my glass when he finished gulping half of his down.

"She was upset because according to her, I am sentenced to Hell without a chance to vindicate myself. Says she never thought her 'only son would turn out to be a heathen'. As if she didn't remember Anthony ever existed," he looked disgusted.

"I tried to explain that she was blowing the whole thing out of proportion, but she spat back some Bible verses at me." Shaking his head, he swallowed down the rest and poured himself more.

"I can't believe she didn't even acknowledge everything else I've been doing for our family. What, she just forgot my entire childhood, my teenage years, my college years? I never like to admit it, but I'm a pretty freaking good kid. I could have gone off like my brother, smoking weed, screwing everything that moved, hanging out with the worst crowds and spending my days in vanity and mindlessness. But I took another road. I did something with my life. I chose to do something for the world, for my country." He shook his head in denial.

"She doesn't understand," I said abruptly. I didn't realize the words even came out until I raised my eyes to meet his and took another drink from my glass. His eyes softened and he sat quietly, listening as I continued.

"She doesn't understand everything you have to go through every day in order to stay alive, to keep others alive, hell, to keep _us_ alive. It's outrageous for her to even insinuate that you're anything less than a hero."

I looked at Edward through my lashes and noticed he had turned a little pink in the cheeks and his neck had reddened, too. He looked like a shy little boy standing before an auditorium being praised for something he didn't believe he should be attributed anything for. He looked at me tenderly, almost forgetting the rage his mother had provoked.

"I just don't understand how she doesn't appreciate everything her son does. I don't see how anyone could turn their back on someone that's done so much." I wasn't capable of comprehending why his mother was being so reproachful and harsh when all he was trying to do was fight to keep the world she lived in safe. My throat burning with questions, I had to ask exactly what it was that upset her.

"What could have ever made her stalk out in a furious rage like that?"

"First, she said I was 'just about ready to start fornicating' with a girl I 'don't even know'. Then, she said I was going to 'ruin' you, 'what a shame it would be; such a sweet little girl'."

I flared a little at the condescending tone she surely spoke to him in when she said that, and raised my eyebrows at the rest.

"She was mostly upset about the tattoos though. She called me out on each one of them. She said it was blasphemous to have any ink on my body whatsoever, and that the 'disgusting' things I drew on it would permanently damn me."

"What the f—"

"I knew she would have a hissy fit when she found out," he drank again, "It was only a matter of time before I had to break the news to her. How long do you think I could go at home without having to wear short sleeves or anything besides pants? Eventually she was going to have to find out, and so was everyone in the family. I knew that when my tour was done, I'd have to come home to family barbeques, reunions, and all that crap I can't stand."

Outraged at the lack of support and acceptance from his mother, I swallowed down the rest of my drink and sat on top of the table, directly in front of him. The room spun a fraction, but I was coherent enough to proceed.

"What do you have to hide?" I asked him, looking completely serious, eyebrows furrowed. "What is it that you have to keep from others?"

He looked at me, quietly, and swished around his drink.

"If there's anything you should be hiding, it wouldn't be inked on your skin. If it wasn't something so meaningful and important, you wouldn't have marked it on your body for yourself and everyone else to admire. You don't remind yourself of something insignificant when you look at the reflection of your tattoos in the mirror, or when you run your fingers over them absentmindedly. You got them done because something within you burned to have them. A part of you knew that they were a necessary component of who you were going to be someday. Denying them is really denying yourself. You have nothing to lie about, nothing to conceal. If your mother doesn't want to understand that," I shrugged, "She doesn't have to, but I do."

Diverting his attention from the floor to my eyes, he looked at me for a long while until he set his drink down and grabbed both of my hands. He stood before me, wincing a bit at the pain in his leg, and settled in the open space between my legs and the table. Letting my hands go, he brushed my bangs out of my forehead and ran a finger over my check lightly.

"Thanks." He said looking deep into my eyes.

I smiled awkwardly, as I usually did when I tried to ignore falling into a clichéd romantic moment, and looked at him questioningly. "For…what?"

"For finding me."

* * *

**A/N: I promise I am never going to take so long to update again. I realize how preposterous it was to leave you all hanging for so long, but my boyfriend (Dell laptop) has crashed **_**twice**_** in a matter of half a year so I've had to re-write this chapter various times and lost the future ones I was working on.**

**As usual, I thank you for being here with me, some since the very beginning, others added along the way. You all mean oodles to me, and I am humbled by all the amazing things you have to say about this little work of mine. I love you all, so very much!**

**Always yours,**

**R Vorenus**


	42. Synopsis

**A/N: I'd like to start by saying that your reviews and messages have warmed my heart. Your support for my healthy recovery and the continuation of this story is so beautiful. Thank you, truly, because your kind words and wishes keep me going. As I have been requested by some faithful readers to create a synopsis so they can refresh their memories, here I provide a brief (considering the length of the story) recap of the most important details. These will provide some disambiguation for now (I hope). If you have any questions or want to ask me anything, please do PM me or review. I love hearing from you all! If you started reading after my hiatus, feel free to skip this entirely, since you probably won't need a reminder of everything you have just read. Either way-enjoy!**

**Again, with so much love, I leave you until next time.**  
**R Vorenus**

* * *

**_Learning to Spell Love_: Ch 1-41 Synopsis**

Bella is the vice president of her high school's international relief student organization and launches an initiative to demonstrate America's gratitude for the troops through a pen pal program with U.S. Marines stationed in Afghanistan. She is paired up with Edward through a series of letters revealing, at first, some basic information about their lives and who they are. Progressively, their letters become more revealing of their emotions and personalities, the friendly bond they develop turning intimate. They meet, finally, when the platoon is brought to Washington, D.C. (Bella's hometown) to interact with the students; the Marines and the students are given time to get to know each other better in person and tour the city. Bella and Edward find themselves enthralled by the intensity of their emotions as they walk together through the solemn pathways of Arlington National Cemetery, sit before the lake in reflective silence, and tour the museums. Their second day together is spent with much more enthusiasm and proves itself to the best reflection of their youth, where the couple finds an escape from the questionable future between them in the rides and attractions of Hershey Park. They share another touching moment, taking advantage of the time before his impending departure and decide to continue pursuing their relationship long-distance.

Their letters continue to delve into their memories and experiences, a bit more nostalgically this time. The couple makes plans to reunite in Texas, where Edward is projected to undergo training in the summer, all the while Bella is coerced by her friends, Alice and Rose, into shopping for prom. Living independently for two years and contacting her parents scarcely, her high school years have been different from most teenagers transitioning gradually into adulthood; Bella is shoved into the arms of responsibility at a young age. She discovers that she will not have a chance to make up for the lost time when her country singer pseudo-celebrity mother, Renee, comes home desperately seeking Bella's help because she is pregnant. Bella undertakes the task of caring for her mother and promises to help care for the child, when Renee abandons her baby, Aiden, and leaves the newborn with Bella soon after she gave birth. Struggling through national exams, college assessments, and finals, Bella completes her studies and finds a way to take care of Aiden simultaneously. As if her burden was not enough, Edward's mother, Esme, surprises Bella by coming to visit her and stays as a guest in her house.

The dynamics between the two women are awkward at first, but Bella finds herself easing into the role of prospective daughter-in-law smoothly. There is no doubt that Esme is taken by Bella's maturity and selflessness in her extracurricular activities and personal life. The happiness is interrupted brusquely by news that Edward has been wounded during an ambush attack. Emmett calls to notify Esme of this, but remains vague in his description, leading to a panicked reaction in both women. When Edward is shipped home, he arrives without notice in D.C. to see his mother, whom he knows is temporarily residing with Bella. The relief of seeing her son alive and not mutilated was replaced by shock and rage when she walked into Edward and Bella in a compromising position, overreacting to his tattoos as well since she is a religious-extreme woman. Esme is scandalized and stalks out of the house, returning home immediately, unwavering in her stubbornness and anger. There, the two are left to understand the the consequences of their predicament and speculate on the future.


	43. Hitting the Center Mark

**A/N: Please take a moment to read the note at the end of the chapter. Thanks.**

* * *

A crink in my neck, an ache in my back—surely I remembered having better nights.

Sweat drenched sheets stuck to my body the way it was only proper for Edward to do so. Burying my face into the pillow, I refused to open my eyes and confront the harshness of the sunlit room; even through the dark curtains, I knew it would be too bright for my comfort. My drunken debauchery last night caught up with me faster than I could run away from it, resulting in a disgusting headache. For someone who never drinks hard liquor, I felt I took it with enough dignity. The after-effects, however, I did not take so well to.

Edward and I had a lovely evening, involving a lot of hugs, many kisses, and other explorations which were interrupted by his mother earlier. We lay down on the couch and drank the night away as we talked about my plans after graduation, my projections for college and even what I would dedicate my time to doing after that. I was vague, as I have no idea what I want to do with my life and there's no certainty that it will go according to plan. As much as I adored Aiden, she was a prime example of the fact. We laughed every so often at my sputtering words and slurring sentences I should have been able to pronounce without issue if I was sober. I tried to steer the conversation away from me by speculating on what he would do when his service was complete.

It's understandable that he would try to change the subject after shrugging it off, since he had too many things to think of with his injury and all. He admitted the Corps had changed his life in a way that made him forever a Marine, even when he would be far away from the duties he now lived for. He was drunk enough to make a hint at a possible future together—somehow—and drifted into a nonsensical speech that was muttered into his refilled glass. I tried to make sense of what he was saying, but I was busy dancing on cloud eight of alcohol lucidity, so my attempts proved to be useless.

I tried to ignore it, anyway, since in the depths of my critical realistic conscience, I knew he wouldn't want to be burdened by a clueless kid raising another kid. He would obviously want to start a life with someone more mature, comprehensive of his life, and on his intellectual level. I would be glad to spend the time I could with him now, and live this wonderful illusion of perfection for the time being, but I wasn't stupid; I was conscious that there would be a moment it had to end. He needed someone with fewer complications, someone that could fill his soul with the joy of loving and being loved, fulfilling the promise of companionship I just couldn't. But, as my favorite movie, _The Dead Poets Society_, taught me: carpe diem.

After stumbling up the stairs with Edward in hand and tripping on the final step, I took him to the guest room he could now take over as his own, and tucked him in. I fumbled with the covers and gave him a kiss on the forehead to which he protested, asking for a goodnight kiss on the lips, or he wouldn't let me go to bed. I submitted to the request gladly, and dragged myself to Aiden's room to check on her. I didn't get too close, fearing that I would do something stupid, like throw up on her or trip on her and crush her. She was sleeping soundly, so I tried to back out into my room as quietly as possible.

And so I woke, with temples throbbing to the likes of a thumb that has just been struck by a hammer, to complete silence.

Hopping out of bed a moment too soon, I felt the tilt-a-whirl that was my brain remind me why it was that I never drank in the first place. Sluggishly making my way to the shower without tripping on anything or setting off an explosion from the landmine that was my floor, I thought of all the possible remedies for this monumental hangover I didn't want to deal with. I debated whether I wanted to shiver under the freezing chill of a sobering-up shower, or rather take a scalding hot bath that evaporated the alcohol away. The former was surely the best option, so I turned on the cold water and jumped into the shower, unceremoniously shedding my clothing.

Quickly drying off after an Arctic shower and hoping I wouldn't develop pneumonia, I brushed my teeth and hair, and then dressed quickly. I wandered into Aiden's room and saw she wasn't in her crib. For a second I nearly panicked, but then remembered Edward was still with me. Making my way to his room, I took a moment to appreciate his rear as he bent over to pick something up from the floor. As he came up again, a medium-sized suitcase that was strikingly familiar drew my attention away from the too-chipper obviously not hung-over young Marine stuffing clothes and shoes into a backpack.

"What's this?" I chuckled nervously. Would he be leaving me again so soon?

The second I noticed his picaresque smile, I recognized there was nothing for me to worry about, but trouble was lurking nearby. Hesitating for a second but proceeding anyway with controlled excitement, he stopped packing and looked at me, anticipating my response.

"I want you to meet my parents. Well, not just my parents but my entire family."

Petrified, I worked through the archive of pre-elaborated excuses in my mind. Grasping for the first one that I could in a panic, I tried to reply coolly, "Oh, don't you think it would be better to wait a little bit? Your mother didn't look too happy when she stalked off yesterday. And it was _just_ yesterday. What about the next time you're back… like when you come back for training… in July?"

Knowing I would stall even before he let me respond, he chuckled and shook his head as he continued to pack his scarce things with a determined look.

"No, I think it's the perfect time. Why not now?"

"Maybe," I started, trying to sound as reasonable and logical as an 18-year-old could, "they'll think it's too sudden." I mentally took note of the pathetic nature of my excuses and wrote myself a reminder to update the repertoire with something less pitiful.

"Do you think it's too sudden?"

"_I_ don't think it's improper, but I worry that they'll think you're being thoughtless. I really can't imagine your mother hating me any more than she probably does now, but I see this being something that could make me unforgiveable under the eyes of God."

"Relax, Bella," he sneaked a look over to me and smirked. "I already told my sister we'll be on our way soon. My dad thinks it's a fantastic idea. He started getting the guest room ready for you."

"But your mom—"

"Hasn't gotten home and formed a scene yet. So don't worry about that yet," he walked across the room toward me and grabbed a pair of striped blue boxers on the rolling chair. "We'll cross that bridge when we get to the river, okay?" He paused before walking back to the suitcase and leaned down to give my lips, slightly parted with incredulity, a peck.

"Now, I need you to stop standing around and pick up the remainder of your things. I packed only necessary items and even with that I was conservative, so there's space for you to take anything else you might want to bring. Besides, girls have so much shit, I don't know what consider important," he looked genuinely confused and scratched the back of his head momentarily as he walked away. I was beginning to acquiesce to the idea when suddenly the panic resurfaced.

"Edward… Where's Aiden?"

Looking up from his systematic task of making the bed, he smiled again and said, "Alice and Jasper came to pick her up this morning before you woke up. I called them when I woke up and Alice practically jumped through the phone to take care of her. That girl is too excited all the time…" he murmured and trailed off, finishing placing the pillows upon the bed with finality.

"But I need to see her, I need to make sure she has everything she needs and that she's going to be set for whatever amount of time we're gone, I need to get her things over to Ali…"

"Hon, I have it taken care of. Trust me; I gave her everything she'll nee—"

"Are we planning on bailing out anytime soon, or is this going to be a day-long mission? Because I have a Skype date with Em later today, so…" I heard an irritated female voice drift upstairs from the living room.

"You're having Rose drive us? Wait, where are we going? I don't even know where you live."

"Of course not; she's dropping us off at the station. We're taking the train. As for where we're going, you'll know when we get there."

I huffed in mock anger and "You mysterious act isn't working; it's just making me more reluctant to go along with your nefarious plan." I rolled my eyes at him and spun on my heel out into the hallway.

"Calm yourself, woman. I'm coming!" I shouted at Rose from the top of the stairs.

"Well, come faster. I need to do my hair, my eyebrows, my nails, and choose an outfit!" she barked back.

"It's a Skype date, Rose, not dinner and the movies!" I yelled back from my room as I gathered the few beauty products I thought I would need. I took my toothbrush and other items of personal hygiene and walked back to Edward's room, depositing the items on the bed. If he was planning this trip, he would have to pack for it.

"I wouldn't expect you to understand, you don't know what it's like to be a woman!" Rose shot back easily.

I heard a scoff followed by laughter in the other room while I picked up my yoga pants, a pair of jeans, and a tank top.

"Frailty, thy name is woman!" I chimed and slung a comfy blazer along with a light jacket over my shoulder. I went through my vanity's drawers and grabbed some bras and all the pairs of underwear I could loop onto my fingers. It seemed Edward hadn't invaded my personal space here since the drawers were full; _at least there's a shred of decency in him yet_, I mused. Going into my closet, I could see a pair of heels, boots, and sandals were all missing; I instantly suspected this was Edward's doing so I grabbed a pair of flats and put them on.

I once again deposited the items onto the bed and shot him a side-glance. He was beaming, feeling victorious that I had agreed to his crazy journey. It was difficult to resist a smile when he was so happy and looked so excited. I had seen him smile before when we were together, but this different. He looked at me shyly and stopped grinning for a minute to blow me a kiss. I narrowed my eyes at him and promptly took all the panties in my hands, rolled them up into a ball, and threw it at his face. My awful aim was successful for once, hitting the center mark as he ducked and the puff of colorful hipsters, bikinis, thongs, boy shorts, and G-strings exploded on impact with his nose.

* * *

Edward looked at me skeptically and set down his cards.

"Why were you so opposed to meeting my family?"

I took a choked sip from my Dr. Pepper can and swallowed it as if it were vinegar. Surprised by the question and realizing I could never win the game with the hand I had, I set my cards down face-up on the booth's table. I went around and sat next to him. He rested his back on the seat and lifted up his arm, creating a niche for me to fill at his side.

"Is that something I really have to answer?"

He pulled me closer and shifted sideways to make more room for me to make myself comfortable and took possession of my hand. "I would like you to," he simply answered.

"I've never met anyone's family before. It's one of the most terrifying experiences on the planet, and I've been grateful for not experiencing it. In simplest terms, it's your everyday man's fear of wrestling with a Burmese python, or waking up to a body crawling with tarantulas."

"Are you comparing my parents to venomous critters?" he tried to sound hurt, but the laughter threatened to erupt.

"I'm just saying, I've been to the Gaza strip and I was less anxious." That did it. He started to shake with laughter and I couldn't help but fall into it along with him. When I recovered, I hugged him closer and rested my head against his muscular chest.

"I'm just scared." I finally admitted.

"Of…? Do you think they're going to tie you down to a church pew and perform an exorcism? Because I assure you, it won't happen again. I made them promise never to do it to another girlfriend of mine." He humored me and laughed along with me again.

I sighed to regain my composure and continued, "I've always been scared of meeting the parents since it's such a formal step. It frightens me because there are so many variables that I can't control. Everything is entirely out of my hands," I let out with a bit of exasperation. Edward remained quiet and let me continue.

"When I'm doing relief work and projects with SOTW or the UN, or whoever I can, I'm in a place where I am never passive. Being an activist is all about being active and moving forward without asking for permission or being held back by anything. If I want to start a safehouse in Congo, all I need to do is phone one or two people, start fundraising, and within a couple of months—bam! Everything is ready. I don't have to hang suspended in the air, awaiting judgment at any moment.

"But, see, meeting parents is so entirely different. Relationships are so different, and I'm so bad at all of this—"

"Wait, Bella's not good at something? Hold on… Let me call Scotland Yard so they can get in on this mystery and solve it!" Edward mused and chuckled again.

"You're biased because you're supposed to love me, but no one else has to. Your family can choose whether or not to like me, whether or not to approve of your relationship, if they want to accept or reject me into their circle. It's very serious. Especially for me, since I had never even dreamed of getting this serious, well, ever."

Edward shook his head and gripped me tighter.

"You're a fool to think there would be a single person on the face of this planet, or any of the other ones we have in our galaxy, that wouldn't love you. And this _is_ serious. But that's not a reason to scare you away. Bella, baby, I love you. That's a fact and it's unchangeable. So don't bother yourself with so much nonsense. You will meet my family and they _will_ love you. Now let's get our luggage together because we're about to stop at the station."

He was speaking over the female voice announcing that we would soon arrive to our destination—a place of which I still had no idea. I scooted over and gave him space to move around and retrieve my suitcase. His backpack was set on the table for quick access so he picked it up and flung it onto his back.

"I think you're going to enjoy our pit stop," he grinned as he stood and took my bag in one hand, offering me the other hand to hold. I took it and stood, trying to gauge my surroundings like every good Girl Scout should. The only problem was that I was never a Girl Scout, nor was I even mediocre with directions. For all I knew, we could be half-way to Montana and stopping for a cheeseburger in Ohio. It didn't help that he wasn't letting me see the tickets, either. I looked out of the window of the cart we sat in, but saw only the darkness of the indoors greet me. Curious, I followed Edward out of the sliding doors, up two flights of stairs, into an elevator, and finally through a revolving door.

"With all this walking, you'd think we were going into the CIA's lair or something!" I joked.

Edward looked down at me with a small smile and shrugged as we walked into the crisp night sprinkled with lights and sounds. "No, it's not the CIA headquarters," he said. It took me a second to take in the familiar scent of greasy food stands mingling with cigarette smoke. Neon signs and large advertisements for shows commanded my attention, taking all of my senses as prisoners to the excitement of the atmosphere. I had been here before, almost every spring. But, every time I returned it was far more enthralling than the last. I felt my heart swell and I squeezed Edward's hand in excited anticipation.

"It's not—it's New York City."

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**A/N: After an eternity apart from you, I return—apologetic and victorious at once. These past 2 years have been complete insanity, but I am proud to report that I am cancer-free (for real this time) and on my way to earning a Bachelor's Degree in English Literature! Happy days!**

**I can't tell you how many angry PM's I've received telling me to hurry up and get back to the story, and I am truly sorry for the prolonged hiatus I was not planning. Now healthy (well, on my way back to it, anyway) and enthusiastic to continue, I open my arms to all my faithful readers and all those just discovering **_**Learning to Spell Love**_**. There's a special place in my heart for all of you.**

**Always yours, and now even more so,**

**R Vorenus**


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